#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout [Long Novel] Episode 2 (The Abruptness of Ponkotsu)

Episode 1: The Mushroom Child

Episode 2: The Abruptness of Ponkotsu

The day after the mushroom grew on my head, I checked it again in the bathroom mirror while preparing to go to the clinic I had booked. As always, a mushroom about the size of a thumb was sitting in the same spot as yesterday. There was nothing left to do but accept it.
"Ponkotsu Clinic, huh..."
Thinking about it made me feel depressed, but the thought of a beautiful nurse being there made me look forward to it a little.
I chose a zip-up hoodie to hide the mushroom on my head, and wore safe, ochre-colored chinos on the bottom. I slung a crossbody bag over my shoulder and put on my shoes. Perhaps because it had been a while since I went out, I felt a little light-headed.
I walked down the spiral staircase in the center of the apartment with restless steps.
The sky was clear, but the coldness of winter still seemed to linger, and I shivered as the wind passed through my body. I immediately regretted coming out in a thin jacket. I hunched my shoulders, saying "Ugh," shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, and headed for the clinic with quickened steps.
According to Matsudaira, the clinic was in the third alley of Chomen-cho. I decided to walk, remembering my lack of exercise over the last six months.
I took my smartphone out of my pocket and checked the map. It was just past 10:00 AM. After walking for about 30 minutes, crossing the bustling main street, and passing a park in a residential area, I found the clinic in question.
The small, square, two-story building looked just like a local doctor's office, covered entirely in clean white tiles with several windows. A square sign was attached to the wall, and under the name "Ponkotsu Clinic," it read "General Medicine Department."
When I entered, a bright, clear female voice called out "Hello" from the reception desk. When I looked over, a woman with features so refined she could have been a Takarazuka actress was looking at me. Her loosely permed hair reached her shoulders, and I was struck by the sight of her hair tucked behind her left ear and her neck.
I awkwardly bowed to greet her and handed over the ID I had taken out of my wallet.
"Um... I had an appointment at 10:30..."
The woman checked the ID she received against the appointment list.
"Mr. Tokio, right? Please fill this out."
With that, I sat on the sofa by the window and filled out the medical questionnaire she handed me. My hand stopped when I reached the section for the chief complaint.
On the phone, I had only said I wanted to have a growth on my head examined and hadn't given any details.
I kept my pen pressed against the questionnaire, wondering if I should write the truth. If I wrote "A mushroom grew on my head," what kind of look would I get from that woman? However, even if I tried to deceive them here, they would find out once they examined me anyway. After much thought, I wrote down exactly what happened.
"Yesterday, a mushroom grew out of my head."
Looking at these words, it was clearly not the act of a sane person. A man in his 20s with a mushroom on his head... it wouldn't be surprising if they suspected drug addiction or mental illness. I handed the questionnaire to the receptionist while keeping my head down.
While waiting to be called for the examination, I sat on the sofa and stared at the floor. I could only hear the ticking of the second hand and the sound of a baseball game on TV.
After a while, a different female voice from the staff called out from the examination room, "Mr. Tokio, please come in." It was a cute voice and tone, as if a small animal were speaking.
A middle-aged man, presumably a patient, walked toward me from the examination room. A large green snake was wrapped around his shoulder, and his chin was still being bitten by the snake. Seeing that, I realized. This clinic is a place where weirdos come.
The snake man turned around in the middle of the hallway, raised his hand slightly toward the woman standing in front of the examination room, and said in a slightly raspy, gentle voice, "Eri-chan, thanks again." He was pretending to be a gentleman, but I could see the obvious ulterior motive behind his tone.
I took a look at the woman called Eri, to whom that ulterior motive was directed. She was a very cute beauty. With a faint softness amidst her brightness, she had a gentle atmosphere and wore her long hair tied back.
Eri responded honestly to the snake man with a gentle smile, "Yes. Mr. Konishi, next time is in three months, okay?" Then she turned to me, smiled slightly, bowed, and opened the sliding door to the examination room, saying, "Sorry to keep you waiting."
I understood why Matsudaira would fall for her, and why the snake man's ulterior motives were overflowing. I took a breath and stepped into the examination room.
When I entered the examination room, a small person who looked like an elementary school student, who had been facing the desk, spun their chair around to face me. A name tag reading "Dr. Ponkotsu" was attached to their chest.
Is this the Pon-sensei that Matsudaira was talking about?
Pon-sensei had large, round, wide-open eyes that took up most of their face, and messy short hair that reached their ears. They already had a character-like face, and on top of that, the white shirt, red suspenders, and blue slacks only added to the character-like appearance. It was more a mass of self-assertion than personality.
"Oh, are you the mushroom child?"
Pon-sensei's voice was higher than I had imagined, and their energy level was also high. Contrary to their unadorned appearance, their way of speaking had a faint, light, gal-like atmosphere.
Pon-sensei looked at me with an expression as if they had been waiting for me, their round eyes shining even brighter, and then added:
"You're a referral from Matsudaira-kun, right?"
"Oh, yes..."
I sat in the chair facing Pon-sensei, hunching my shoulders, and took off the hood I had been wearing.
Immediately, Pon-sensei said, "Oh, it's true," while peering intently at the mushroom. After checking by parting my hair and touching the mushroom, they returned to their seat. It was only a few minutes, but my hands were sweating.
Pon-sensei looked at me and said in a light tone:
"This is definitely a Mushro-alien."
What is that? A Mushro-alien? I'd never heard of it. I furrowed my brows.
"Mushro... alien?"
In Pon-sensei's hand, a small mushroom figure had appeared out of nowhere. They began to sway it as if holding it with their fingertips.
"Yeah. Well, in short, it's a parasite. An organism that lives by parasitizing you, the host. As a result of considering the possibility that it's an extraterrestrial life form, I coined the name Mushro-alien by twisting the word alien."
"A parasite... Pon-sensei, is my body okay?"
I instinctively checked my hands and body. There is another living thing inside me. That fact brought an indescribable anxiety and impatience.
Ignoring me, Pon-sensei answered in a nonchalant manner:
"Yeah. It's not a child that does bad things, and it won't get any bigger than that, so I don't think you need to worry."
Hearing those words, I felt a little relieved. It's a blessing in disguise that there are no symptoms and it won't grow. All that's left is to remove this mushroom.
"Is that so? Then, Pon-sensei, can this be removed?"
Pon-sensei crossed their arms and muttered as if thinking.
"Hmm, well, the host can't be changed now... I guess it can't be helped."
Then, as if to pull themselves together, they clapped their hands lightly, and Pon-sensei said to me as if it were natural:
"Well, I'm glad the host is Tokio-kun. Because the future of this world depends on that mushroom. Nice to meet you, Tokio-kun."
It was such an abrupt request. I couldn't understand what they were saying, and I was dumbfounded.
The future of this world depends on this mushroom...? What on earth is this doctor talking about? Could they really be a "ponkotsu" (clumsy/useless)? I asked Pon-sensei while feeling bewildered.
"Eh...? Wait a minute, Pon-sensei. What on earth... are you talking about?"
And it was only much later that I learned that the last words I said at that time were the secret password of the back alley.

Episode 3

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Episode 1 The Mushroom Child

<<Characters>>
I have borrowed names and settings from noters with their permission. The character portrayals in the novel are the author's imagination, so they may differ from the actual personalities of the noters whose names were borrowed.
Also, in consideration of spoilers, introductions of the noters and the original articles may be made after the serialization of the long novel is finished.
Thank you for your understanding.

Tokio (Original Character)
Matsudaira Gagaku-no-kami
Ponkotsu
Mosquito Eri

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