The Opening [Chapter 3]

〈Chapters 1 & 2〉

...

　Chime, chime.
　When I was a high school senior, I muttered, "Why does this shop always have a wind chime even when it's not summer?" Shunsuke answered without hesitation, "Because the sound of a wind chime is soothing, right?"
　I was a little surprised that the same sound as that time rang out.
　"Welcome..."
　The shop owner in a floral apron popped her head out from the back. Her eyes were wide open, and she was holding her hand over her mouth from above her mask.
　"It's been a while, Auntie Mitsuko."
　"Wow! I'm so surprised! What should I do?"
　"Sorry for surprising you."
　"I'm so happy. Come on, sit at the back table, sit down."
　Micchan's bakery. This cozy little shop was our secret base. I think we went there up to three times a week during busy periods. The freshly baked bread and sweets were exquisite, and before exams, we would often study together while spreading our textbooks out on the back table. It's no exaggeration to say that after we found out Auntie Mitsuko was a University of Tokyo graduate, we treated it like a cram school. In a situation where many restaurants were closing, I was happier than anything that this shop was still here, unchanged.
　"I'll have a curry bread and a blend coffee."
　"Haha, you haven't changed. What about you, Chiaki-chan? The seasonal sweet is an apricot tart."
　"Wow, then I'll have that! And also..."
　"Milk tea, right?"
　"Yes, please."
　"Haha. Wait a moment."

　The antique chairs and tables were paler in color than they were back then, but they were definitely the same ones. Walnuts with their shells on, with a note saying "Please have one," were placed in the corner of the table.
　"So, these are still here too."
　Before I could finish, Shunsuke picked up two walnuts. It takes a knack to crack them with your bare hands. You align the hard groove of one walnut with the soft, indented part of the other and squeeze them firmly with both hands. Shunsuke peeled the walnut with practiced hands and popped half of it into his mouth.
　"It's so nostalgic, I feel like I'm going to cry."
　"If you eat the bread, won't you burst into tears?"
　"Probably. My agency has had a bread ban on me lately, so that might be part of it."
　When I said, "I'll let you have some today," he smiled happily, his face crinkling. Just from that expression, I felt like I could understand how much he had to endure to build such a well-balanced body. His upper body was sturdy, yet his jawline was sharp and slender.
　While sharing the other walnut, we reminisced about how we used to do math drills at this table and how we would rely on Auntie when we didn't understand classical Japanese. I realized for the first time that while memories remain vague and ambiguous when you're alone, they become vivid when you have someone you spent that time with.

　"Sorry to keep you waiting."
　The smell of freshly baked bread and coffee on a wooden tray. The tart had juicy apricots beautifully coated in syrup, and I couldn't help but let out a "Wow."
　"Come to think of it, Shunsuke-kun. I read the magazine you were on the cover of last month."
　"Whoa, really? I'm so happy. Was it the one about the memories feature?"
　"That's right. I even bought two copies."
　"But I trusted that you would see it, Auntie."
　"I read that interview and cried..."
　Auntie sniffled and placed her hand on Shunsuke's shoulder.
　"Because I thought I wouldn't be able to see you anymore..."
　Shunsuke didn't waver and placed his large palm over hers. He looked as if he had known Auntie would cry.
　"Back then, even when I went home, my parents weren't there because of work. If it weren't for you, Auntie, I definitely would have gone astray and never made it to the University of Tokyo."
　"That's not true. It was your own ability."
　Shunsuke slowly took in Auntie's words and shook his head.
　The silence of a few seconds felt terribly long.
　"It might be too late to say this now... but today, I came to say what I couldn't say back then. I'm truly grateful. Thank you for creating a place for me to belong."
　Seeing the two of them smiling at each other with gentle eyes, my heart trembled. The apricot and custard cream melted quietly in my mouth.
　After that, Shunsuke even added a sausage roll and a strawberry danish, and we ended up staying for two hours, sitting at the table with Auntie whenever she was free.
　Shunsuke treated me, saying, "I'll pay for this." When we left the shop, I carefully tucked the five walnuts Auntie gave us as a souvenir into my bag, along with her words, "Make sure you come back again."

　"There was a question in a magazine feature about places of memories and people you want to thank. I answered, 'the bakery I went to in high school.' I didn't mention the name of the shop, so it was a bit of a gamble whether you'd read it or not."
　"You read it, didn't you?"
　Actually, I had read that magazine at a bookstore last month. I thought I was probably the only one who knew it was Micchan's bakery. However, for some reason, I decided to keep it to myself for now that I had read it.

　I stopped asking, "Where are we going next?" I was starting to understand Shunsuke's thinking, and I thought it was more interesting not to know. It was a bit like the exhilaration before a play or concert begins when you don't know the ending.

　We wandered through our places of memories, heading toward Saitama-Shintoshin Station. Our steps were becoming lighter, slowly but surely. The stationery store near the school building, the chain hamburger shop, the green bench, the small park where we played catch for the first time. Every time we visited one, I felt as if I had time-traveled back to my high school days.
　Then, we decided to go to the large bookstore in front of the station, which was close to closing time. Shunsuke narrowed his eyes nostalgically and headed straight for the reference book corner, flipping through the red University of Tokyo entrance exam book. Shunsuke was truly smart. Yet, he was a perfect student who never acted arrogant about being top of his class, nor did he neglect sports or school events. It was amazing enough that he entered the University of Tokyo right out of high school, but he even managed to graduate in four years after entering the entertainment industry while still a student. Thinking about that fact again, I felt terribly pathetic standing next to him.
　"I have one more place I want to go... is it okay if we stop by?"
　"Sure."
　Shunsuke didn't ask where we were going either. I had a slight conviction that we were thinking the same thing.
　While passing through the station deck, which was wider and more organized than it used to be, and the sparsely populated Keyaki Hiroba, we didn't say a word, just walked straight ahead.

　The Hokosugi Bridge in the evening is very quiet, and a calm atmosphere flows through it. Nothing has changed since those days. The Saitama Super Arena towers next to us, and several JR train tracks run under the bridge. Under a vivid evening sky that looked like it was painted with watercolors, we stood there for a while without speaking. It was a time to savor the fact that we were here right now.

　"Thanks for today. For going along with my selfishness."
　After confirming that there was no one around, Shunsuke gently took off his white mask. After carefully folding it in two and putting it in his pocket, he stood right next to the railing I was leaning on. Shunsuke's shirt brushed against my dress. Just from that, I felt like my heartbeat would be transmitted, so I quietly moved my body to the other side.
　Shunsuke let out a deep breath.
　"Actually... I was debating whether to quit my current job."
　My heart skipped a beat.
　I pretended to be calm and just replied, "Yeah." Looking to the side, I saw him burying half his face in his short shirt sleeve, while his eyes seemed to be looking straight toward Tokyo.
　How many difficult things must he have overcome in places I don't know about?
　No matter how much I want to be close to him, no matter how much I want to understand him, it's different from back then. I feel like I can't reach the SYUN who is standing next to me now.

　"When I saw various countries being added to the agency's schedule, saying I should sign with an overseas agent and start a world tour from next year... one day, I felt a chill down my spine. I have indeed been active as STARS, but should I really keep going like this? Should I be on this big ship while feeling lost? Is it okay for me to be thinking about this when the four of us are about to do our best? Won't I just be a burden to everyone? While I was thinking that, the COVID pandemic happened."
　The Shonan-Shinjuku Line ran vigorously under the bridge. I wonder if it feels like being forced onto a rapid express train from a local train. Knowing a little bit about the entertainment world, I knew how shallow this analogy was, but I desperately spun my head, wanting to relate it to myself even a little.
　"Then, surprisingly, my free time increased. While the other four were talking positively about making the next song or holding an event, I couldn't say anything. Having time made me think about various things even more... it's not like me, is it?"
　I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out well.
　"About a month ago, I talked to the leader, Koki, and the president about wanting to quit. Then, both of them cried so much it didn't make sense. To the point where I couldn't say what I wanted to say at all on the spot."

　Shunsuke's melancholy eyes were turned to the sky. He raised his right eyebrow sharply and pressed his lips into a line. I couldn't stand it anymore and squeezed Shunsuke's left hand. Without meeting my eyes, Shunsuke squeezed back with the same strength.

　"A few days later, they made a proposal. Forget about work, and first, try spending a month taking it easy. Meet your family and people you want to see. Do things you enjoy, things that make you feel at ease, things you want to try... anyway, for now, don't live as SYUN, but as Shunsuke Mishima."

　Before I knew it, the orange sunset had set, and the surroundings were completely wrapped in the colors of night. After confirming that his voice had become a little calmer than before, I gently let go of the warmth of his left hand and faced Shunsuke while leaning my back against the bridge railing.

...