Yuko Oshima stole my heart.

When I first saw Yuko Oshima in Heavy Rotation, my heart was stolen in an instant.

The way her big, double-lidded eyes peeked out from under her hat. The dimples that appeared when she smiled. Her soft cleavage. Even though she had a slender frame, she was overflowing with vibrant energy.

But what left an impression on me was how ephemeral she seemed.

I kept watching the music video as if I were being sucked into her dimples. My thumb kept hitting the repeat button on its own.

When I saw her, I might have been walking a tightrope between reason and instinct.
And the moment my center of gravity finally shifted, she winked and stole my heart with incredible speed.

I felt like a hollow doll, swaying and falling.

In short, I fell in love with Yuko Oshima.

Of course, this wasn't sexual. I am a woman and I am only attracted to men.
But I think everyone has had that moment where they are captivated by someone of the same sex.

It was the same back then. The gentle customer service of a woman at a department store cosmetics counter wrapped my heart, which had been sinking due to a work mistake, in sunshine, and I fell for her in an instant.

My heart raced as she got close to apply my makeup. Wow, her skin is like porcelain. She smells so fresh and nice. It felt too sinful to stare directly at the artistic face ten centimeters away, so I closed my eyes before we could make eye contact. I didn't want her to realize how I felt.

◇

The more I learned about her, the more obsessed I became with Yuko Oshima.
Her charm wasn't just her visuals, but above all,
her earnestness.

Her all-out dancing where even her flowing sweat sparkled, and the way she was affectionately nicknamed "Korisu" and cheered on her team.

The girl who had "made her dreams come true in Tokyo" that I had longed to be was right there.

She was so dazzling and enviable that I couldn't stand it. That was because I lived in the countryside, where all I could see outside my house were rice fields.

To go to the family restaurant "Cocos," to go to Shimamura, or to go to the video rental store "Geo," I had to ask my father to drive me. Since I didn't have a license, I couldn't go anywhere on my own two feet.

And if my father was in a bad mood, he wouldn't take me, and I would be stuck here, surrounded by nothing but rice fields.

In the first place, before even having the courage to leave, I didn't even know the means to do so. If my father wouldn't drive me, I could have just walked as far as my own feet would take me. I could have saved money and taken the Shinkansen somewhere.

I hadn't even thought of such an idea.

That is precisely why I wished for a "trigger" to fall from the sky and take me away from here.

The fast-food landscape lined with chain stores, just a ten-minute drive away, was my version of Tokyo.

I was reasonably satisfied with that kind of life, but every time a deep night visited this town, which didn't even have streetlights, my heart was wrapped in despair.

—Ah, if only I could have gone to that side, too.

Like a moth swarming around a neon sign, I wanted to be drawn toward the direction where there was a glittering light. Dreaming, if possible, of going all the way to the skyscrapers.

At times like that, Yuko Oshima, reflected on the small screen of my smartphone, always took my heart out to a glittering world.

Having said that, it was an escape from reality.

Even so, it became a hope for living through boring days.

However, I suddenly think.

If I had even one element similar to Yuko Oshima, I might have watched her on TV while glaring at her, thinking, 'I'm a better woman than you!'

And that frustration of 'I know I can't actually beat her, but I don't want to admit it' might have been simmering and erupting at the bottom of my heart.

For example, if I were the owner of soft, bouncy breasts, had large double-lidded eyes, was an underground idol in Tokyo, or was popular in class.

If that were the case, I would have been hostile toward her, and
I would have definitely bitten my own chapped lower lip, which I didn't even apply lip balm to, until it bled, and furthermore, shed tears of frustration.

The inside of my mouth would have been an exquisite harmony of the taste of iron mixed with the saltiness of tears.

And this is the worst and best taste of jealousy.

However, the real me is the exact opposite of her.
Except for the commonality of being the same age, there were no elements to compare.

Surely, when you meet a woman who has everything you don't, you go far beyond the dimension of jealousy, it becomes admiration, and furthermore, you fall in love.

For me, that was Yuko Oshima.

◇

Since then, more than ten years have passed, and my heart is still stolen by her.

I love her now too, but I watch the music videos for 'Heavy Rotation' and 'Iiwake Maybe' periodically.

That's because I want to remember that moment when she first added color to my gray daily life.

The delicate age that is neither a girl nor a mature adult woman makes life shine dazzlingly.
While you are in the midst of it, it feels like it will last forever, but like cherry blossoms, it is fleeting and ephemeral in an instant.

Her smile from that moment still continues to add color to my life, giving it a gentle touch like a watercolor painting.

In other words, Yuko Oshima also gave me the courage to jump out from "there," walk on my own two feet, and live by my own strength.

◇

Thank you for everything until the end! I participated in Jun Ikematsu's jealousy festival.
I look forward to your continued feedback.

The source of the title is here.
Driving a nail into a straw doll~♪

Note) This is part of a song lyric, so please rest assured that even if I am jealous, I will not be driving nails into straw dolls.