That way of being supportive is the cause of your self-DV

I am Nozowa, an Aroma Tuning Fork Hypnotherapist. With the mission of "moving the lives of those I interact with," I preside over the Subconscious Design Mastery Program to acquire a 'personal axis' that never wavers for a lifetime.
I walk alongside people who have decided to love themselves and live fully with their own unique charm, even if they have been blaming themselves forever or cannot believe in themselves.

And, as someone who has been writing a diary for 20 years and has been posting on Facebook every day for nearly 2000 days, I share how to face your emotions, which I learned through writing!
Essential for those in their 40s! I deliver communication mindsets for your relationship with yourself. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Do you really think that?

I myself had a habit of being supportive in the wrong way...
Having experienced a very sad event at the end of 2022, I started 2023 with nothing in my heart or head, just sensations. I felt like nothing was moving, to the point where I even felt terrified that I might never return to how I was before.
When my heart and head started to move little by little, I was suddenly hit by anger and emptiness regarding what had happened. It was nothing but confusion.
At that time, "I guess I feel frustrated," "I guess I feel sad", I was talking to myself out of my old habit.

"What! That's not good!" Some people might have thought that.
That's not it! The purpose of being supportive is to accept yourself. Pretending to be supportive of yourself, convincing yourself that you're satisfied, or trying to force a positive conversion is actually treating yourself roughly, which later causes a backlash of self-DV.

Don't say it so lightly!! My anger is boiling ( ｀ー´)ノ

In the first place, think about it! Once your mental state has crashed to the point where you can't even eat properly, and you don't know what's ahead, if someone says to you with such simple words
"You're frustrated, aren't you?", wouldn't you be pissed off! "It's not that simple! What do you know!" My anger toward myself surfaced as "anger." This was when I realized that although we feel the importance of self-understanding and self-acceptance in our daily lives, we were actually treating ourselves on a very shallow level. From here, I tried repeating human experiments.
I realized that I was spending my time being swayed by someone else's common sense and someone else's values, without even creating "margin" for myself.

If you act on "being supportive of yourself" in the wrong direction, it may look positive at first glance, but in reality, it puts a burden on your own heart and eventually leads to hurting yourself.

At first, I didn't notice at all, and while I was doing the "You're frustrated, aren't you?" thing,
I thought, "Huh? This is somehow wrong." "Nothing has changed with this." On the contrary, I'm rebelling, aren't I (;´д｀)
I felt that I was getting even more angry and that empty emotions were there.

Making a promise to yourself before self-acceptance

Accepting yourself. I think that refers to accepting any version of yourself easily. When I first gave myself the OK in the true sense, I experienced a sense of peace and love overflowing from my heart, and a feeling of relief that was second to none.
Since then, I feel that the world has become peaceful.
That's why I thought self-acceptance is truly important. I am keenly aware that living while continuing to deny myself has been nothing but harmful and of no benefit to me.
I realized this through a client's words.

I witnessed cases where self-acceptance became an obligation, a "thing that must be done." Of course, this always happens when learning something while not being used to it, but when you get used to it unconsciously, you start to hear these kinds of "words."
In the first place, it means that being able to accept yourself has become the goal. That is also a "farmed goal."
A "farmed goal" is not a goal from your own heart. If you just learned that it's better to do it, and you don't really feel that it's important, it may become a "must do" thing.
Self-acceptance is a means, not a goal or an objective.
What you intend to have beyond being able to accept yourself is the objective and becomes the motivation.

Therefore, the promise to make to yourself before self-acceptance is to decide to "cherish yourself."

Self-esteem! That starts with basing it on a Cinderella mindset

"Cherish yourself."
It seems obvious, but it's a promise to yourself that you haven't been keeping.
Start by making this the foundation. I thought this was the most important thing.
Intend this. And affirm that thought. No matter what comes up, first, make the promise.
If you don't intend to "cherish yourself," even the meaning of self-acceptance becomes a stopgap, meaningless farce.

Cherishing yourself means, for one thing, "not denying what you think."
When you are living based on whether it is right or not, you are already living within someone else's values.
"Permitting" yourself to honestly "release" these thoughts and wishes of "I" "want to do" leads to a sense of affirmation.

Therefore, rather than forcing yourself to say "You were frustrated, weren't you?", I want to repeat the process of letting it all out once, saying "That's right," "There's more, isn't there?"
And then, I will be supportive of the "emotions" I feel when I have let it all out.

The emotion that was there for me was "guilt."
This "guilt," which had nothing to do with the current event,
was making me experience various events to make me realize it.
Because I intended to "cherish myself" and was able to base it on affirming myself, the real sound of my true feelings rang out, and I was able to "receive" it.

From there, drawing a new world began.

Of course, it wasn't refreshing all at once.
It appeared again and again, and I faced it.
That one year was painful.
Even in such an experience, I was "convinced" that I was growing, and I didn't forget to affirm myself.

I am definitely growing

They say that once you realize a problem, it is 80% solved.
Please imagine this when you feel like you are repeating the same things over and over.
If you look at yourself from directly above, you will likely feel like you are just going around in circles.
However, if you look from the side, you were actually climbing a spiral staircase.
Furthermore, once you realize it, the stairs are gone, and you are simply walking in a different world.

If you ignore your true feelings, you will be attacked even more.

If you doubt your own growth and try to handle your feelings carelessly, a backlash will always occur from within yourself.
After all, the person you want to understand you the most is yourself.
Until you understand, your feelings will try every trick in the book to get you to notice them. That is what an "emotion" is.
That "emotion" will cut out and show you experiences that are appropriate for that emotion.
This is because you perceive events that are entirely in line with your own emotions.

I want to eliminate mistakes in being supportive and make "I" communication more enjoyable.

Thank you for reading until the end.
I will continue to share content in the hope that it will increase the number of people who intend to live by valuing themselves and provide hints to make their lives easier.

Also, the 4th term of the Subconscious Design Master Program starts in October 2024.

I will also be accepting applications for free individual consultations soon.

I would be happy if you could leave a reaction if you liked this.