Even if I cannot understand, I want to know.

When I am reading a book or listening to someone talk, there are times when I feel a surge of excitement, as if I want to slap my knee and say, "Exactly!"
That is because the vague feelings inside me are put into words, and they fall perfectly into place.
And it is because I feel the joy of meeting someone who shares similar thoughts, and a sense of relief that makes my heart feel a little lighter, knowing that I am not alone.

Today, that happened while I was listening to an extra episode of COTEN RADIO, which has become my companion during my commute.

What was being discussed there was that "getting to know people is difficult and takes a lot of time."
And that "no matter how much time you spend, you can never truly understand a person."
Even so, "the important thing is not the act of understanding the person itself, but the attitude of trying to understand."

Hearing this, does it feel like resignation? Does it sound somewhat lonely?

To me, it felt like respect for others.
Even if you cannot understand them completely, trying to know them is, I believe, a sincere way of reaching out to that person.

I think that believing you have "understood" someone is just forcing them into your own framework of perception.
A framework of perception is nothing more than each person's own bias, and since we don't even fully understand ourselves, it would be arrogant to think we can understand others.
Even if that person is your partner, your child, or a blood relative.
Interpreting and judging them on your own must be suffocating for them as well. No one wants to be forced into a framework created by someone else.

Even so, I believe that trying to know that person, whom you can never fully understand, is what connects people.
If saying "I understand" means forcing the other person into your own framework, then "trying to know" means reaching out and drawing close to them.

This holds true when I reflect on my own personal experiences. When someone says, "I understand you," it feels suffocating.
But when they give up and say, "I cannot understand you," it leaves me feeling empty, as if the air has been drained from my chest.
It is painful to have someone trample over my boundaries, and it is also painful to have someone build a wall that cannot be crossed.
But I want to accept the hand that is reached out to me with the words, "I want to know you," with a warm heart.

That is why I believe it is important to reach out and say, "Even if I cannot understand you 100%, I want to know you, even if just a little."
This way of thinking is also consistent with what I read a while ago in "I Am Yellow, White, and a Little Blue" by Mika Brady.

Thinking you have "understood" someone, and giving up and drawing a line by saying "I cannot understand," are probably rooted in the same thing.
I think it is about simplifying, organizing, and judging others from your own perspective. That is a one-sided way of being.

But that other person is also a human being, just like me. And people are mirrors.
No one would open their heart to someone who is one-sided.
That is why I, too, want to be able to reach out to others. I want to discard both the arrogance of thinking I can understand others and the resignation of thinking I cannot, and instead, try to know them even if I cannot understand them. I want to cherish that attitude.