Part 7: 'I Got Everything. Yet, the World Looked Gray'
This is the seventh part of the story of my sales career.
Last time, I talked about how the doctor I was closest to was disappointed in me, saying, 'I can't believe you can just go off on a trip by yourself.'
The ground beneath me crumbled. But—I kept running after that.
And then, one year.
I got everything.
…And yet.
I wasn't happy.
Today, that is the story I will tell.
1. My 'Dream Notebook' from 10 years ago was completely filled
A long time ago, I had a 'Dream List'.
It was a list of things I wanted to do that I wrote about 10 years ago.
'Get promoted by age 30,' 'Annual income of 10 million yen,' 'I want to drive this kind of car,' 'I want this, I want that.'
—I wrote quite a lot.
And then, one year, I suddenly realized.
That list was completely filled.
My position had gone up. My annual income was incredibly good. Around that time, I was able to rebuild my family life. My work was going perfectly.
The things that the old me thought, 'If I get these, I'll be happy'—at that moment, they were all there.
From the outside, I think it looked perfect.
But—my heart was not moved at all.
2. The world looked gray
I will try to remember who I was back then.
No matter what I did, my heart felt nothing.
It wasn't that I was just doing what I was told. But I was constantly, calmly checking off the things I 'had to do'—that was my every day.
I was used to my work, too. I had the trust of the doctors I worked with, and the tasks were always the same. It was a routine.
And, I'm not sure if I can put this into words well.
Usually, the world looks like it's in full color, doesn't it?
Like noticing that leaves are green, or wondering what color a piece of clothing is. Colors are clearly there.
But—when I think back to that time.
The world was gray.
A black-and-white, faded tone. No matter what I did, it felt dry. Unfulfilled. It was like that all the time.
…Actually, this is something some of my clients say to me, too.
"Every day is in black and white." "No matter how much I do, I never feel fulfilled."
—I understand that feeling painfully well. Because I was the same way.
3. The "more, more" wouldn't stop
Since I wasn't fulfilled, what did I do?
I would set another goal.
Higher. I wanted to grow more. More, and more.
That "more" had become unstoppable.
Searching for what was missing and filling it. Searching again, and filling it again. Getting certifications. Studying. Aiming for the top.
But, at the end of the year, the moment I finished work and suddenly stopped—
I realized how empty I was. I realized it.
Even though I had run so far. Even though I had obtained everything. There was a gaping hole right in the center of my heart.
But even after realizing it, I couldn't stop running. So, I kept running. From summer, all the way through winter.
And then, the final week of the year.
Just as I finished work for the year and thought, 'Now, it's New Year's break.'
I blurted out to my wife.
'Hey. I'm thinking of changing jobs again.'
——Because I felt that staying at my current company was pointless.
4, My wife looked at my face quietly and asked
Then, my wife.
She looked at my face quietly—and asked me this.
'What are you aiming for?'
'How much more growth or how many more qualifications do you need—before you're satisfied?'
'Where is your goal?'
…I was stunned.
From my wife's perspective, changing jobs was just, 'Isn't this just repeating the same thing again?'
——Actually, I myself had vaguely thought so too.
The first job change went well. I thought, 'Maybe it was just luck.' The second one was also a success. I thought, 'Maybe it was a coincidence.' The third one was also a success, and I thought, 'This is proof of my own ability.'
But—even though the third job change went well and I achieved results.
What I truly wanted was not there.
I just hit the numbers. I just produced results. Beyond that, what I truly wanted—was nothing at all.
5. The true nature of success was empty
I have been running for 20 years.
I started selling, became number one, and got promoted. I got everything.
And yet—I lost track of where I was heading.
Looking back, it waslike running a marathon with no finish line at full speed.It was like that.
Of course, there was no way I would ever feel fulfilled.
Because—there was no heart in it.
I was running. But I didn't know the destination. I didn't even know where I was running toward.
I think I was truly scared back then.
'If I chase success, I will be happy'—I had always believed that.
But I achieved all that success.
And yet, the 'happiness' I had imagined—was nowhere to be found.
'What on earth have I been chasing for 20 years?'
I could no longer run away from that question.
6. Where is your goal?
Today, the question I want to ask you is the one my wife asked me.
Where are you aiming for?
How much do you need to grow, how many results do you need to produce—before you are satisfied?
Where is your goal?
——If you couldn't answer right away, that's okay.
I couldn't answer either. I spent 20 years running, got everything, and still, I couldn't answer.
But not running away from this question and choosing to stop—that changed my life.
“I’m working hard, but I don’t feel fulfilled.” “Every day, somehow, looks gray.”
If you have that feeling, it’s not because you’re weak. It might just be that you have lost sight of your goal.
Let me know in the comments. Where is your “more, more” heading right now? ...This question really hits home, doesn't it?
Now then.
Triggered by that question from my wife, for the first time, I stopped.
I began to think slowly. “What do I work for?” “Where do I want to go?”
And then, one day.
I made the decision to throw it all away—the high salary, the team, and quit my job.
Why was I able to throw it all away even though I had everything?
I’ll talk about that next time. The story is finally about to take a big turn.
Please follow and stay tuned.
Lastly.
“I’m working hard, but I keep running without feeling fulfilled.”
If there is anyone like that, why not stop for a moment—and come look for your “goal” with me?
There are many things you can't find the answer to by thinking alone. But the answer is always within you.
I would be happy to create a time where we can find it together and struggle with it together during a 60-minute dialogue.
30 minutes is also fine. Feel free to reach out.
▶️ [60 minutes free] Click here to book a dialogue session to unlock your talent
Thank you for reading until the end today as well.
See you again tomorrow in Part 8.