Getting kicked awake and sleeping in the gaps of the futon will end someday.

Since there have been a lot of posts about developmental disabilities lately,
I'll share some mom-related content for a change.
I am properly being a mom to a teenage daughter, haha.
It's spring break, but my child isn't going to after-school care
and is enjoying life.

You can give out homework during spring break too, you know,
teacher?

For the quintessential Osaka mom, please refer to
the Nakagawa-ke comedy duo.
It's really just like that.
I really do make the "Mom is going to sleep now!"
declaration.

I won't let things go exactly as you want.

Well, that's just how sleep is during infancy.

My eldest daughter cried every 30 minutes until she was about 3 months old. I'd breastfeed, change her diaper, and just as I started to doze off, it was already time for the next feeding.

Hey, when do I get to sleep?

It wasn't until over half a year later that I slept for more than 3 hours.
I have no memory of it.
Even though I was always awake in the middle of the night,
my former partner never woke up. Why?

I was so furious that I let my eldest daughter
cry by his bedside for a while.

My second daughter started sleeping for 3 hours at a time relatively early, but due to the divorce turmoil, my memories of that time are a blur.
← Basically, memories of hard parenting just vanish.

From the infancy stage where I'd feel like I was going to lose my mind when she'd cry the moment I laid her down on the futon
after thinking I'd finally gotten her to sleep,

to the toddler stage where I'd go to the bedroom
thinking, 'Phew, maybe she'll sleep now,'
only to find my sleeping space was
nothing but the gap in the futon.

I'd somehow squeeze in and go to sleep.
And there were times when my daughter would wake up at 5 AM for some reason,
eyes sparkling.
Is she an old lady?

I'd do chores while half-asleep,
and watch 'Okaasan to Issho.'
Daisuke-oniisan, Atsuko-oneesan,
Yoshio-oniisan... those bring back memories.

I'd intend to read a picture book to them,
but I'd fall asleep first.
I'm sure you have
an episode like that too.

And then,
gradually, I didn't need to put them to sleep anymore,
and after saying, 'Mom is leaving the room at 10 PM!'
and giving them a hug, they naturally
started sleeping on their own.

Now they just say, 'See ya! Goodnight!'
and head into their room.

They don't even let me make my
'Mom is going to sleep now!' declaration anymore.
They've grown up so much.

The everyday things we will lose someday.

It makes me sad just thinking about it, but
even the child who is currently being sassy and difficult
will eventually leave the nest.

I was kicked awake,
I had no choice but to sleep in the gaps of the futon,
even these daily routines will become a memory.

There were times when I thought I wanted to sleep
spread-eagled all by myself, though.

Even today, while being tossed about by the children,

I think I will savor these days of sleeping together
for just a little while longer.

May tomorrow be a good day as well.