Self-Introduction | Yu

Nice to meet you.
My name is Yu. I am a man, and I am currently a university student.

To be honest, I am not very good at writing self-introductions like this.
However, as I continued to write on note, I began to think that "who is writing" might be more important than "what is being written," which is why I am writing this.

My hobbies are strength training and watching movies.
The reason I started strength training isn't just for positive reasons.
In the past, I was teased about my appearance, and there was a time when I hated how I looked.
I can't easily change my face, but I can change my body.
That was the reason I started.
I don't intend to tell the whole story, but strength training is one of the things that supports me now.

I don't watch movies just to kill time, either.
What I especially like is the time after a movie ends, before I do anything else.
Even after the end credits finish rolling, I can't stand up,
wondering things like "what was that scene about?" or
feeling a sense of inexpressible emotion lingering.
For some reason, I find comfort in soaking in that afterglow.

The reason I started note was,
"because I became afraid of time passing by without anything remaining."

In high school, I gave everything to my club activities.
I achieved results, too.
From the perspective of others, I think it would be called a success story.
But what awaited me beyond that was an emotion different from the sense of accomplishment I had imagined.

Since entering university, my days have been without wins or losses.
I take classes to earn credits, and spend my free time at a part-time job.
I should be busy enough, but for some reason, my heart isn't moved.
Even though I am trying my best, I don't feel like I am moving forward.
I have been carrying that sense of discomfort with me the whole time.

At first, I started writing just for myself, with no intention of showing it to anyone.
But as I wrote,
"I wonder if there are others who feel the same way."
I started to think that.

The desire to become someone.
The feeling of not being evaluated even though I am working hard.
The moment of feeling empty even though I should have succeeded.
Those kinds of stories don't often come to the surface.

That is why I decided to leave them here.
Prioritizing honest emotions over putting things together neatly.
I think it is okay to write even while still in the process, without having found the answers.

My future goals are not something I can clearly state in a single word.
However, "to live without ignoring that sense of discomfort."
I want to continue doing that.

Strength training, writing, and the afterglow after watching a movie,
I feel like they are all on that same extension.
Even if there are no immediate results,
it is an action to ensure I don't return to the "me who was doing nothing."

In this note,
I will write little by little about what I feel as a university student,
the emotions that remain after putting in effort,
and the sense of discomfort that seems like it would disappear if I didn't put it into words.
If even one line here resonates with you,

please feel free to read my other articles when you feel like it.
Thank you for reading this far.

Yu