I'm declaring it so I can take action. Even though I'm scared.

Good morning.
I borrowed a lovely photo again today.

I've never been to a nemophila field,
so I'd like to go once it gets warmer.

Now, for today.
Unfortunately, this isn't useful information,
but rather just an article
where I share my declaration
with all of you. (lol)

If you're okay with that,
I would appreciate it if you'd stick with me.

There's something I've been wanting to try lately.

And that is

Web writing.

…No, that's right. I should just do it. It's just that I've been hesitating.

So, in order to take action,
I've decided to make a declaration in this note.

Starting something new is always
inevitably heavy on the mind. It's hard to get moving.

Even if it's something I like,
I just can't seem to take that step. I can't get started.

It's just like how bicycle pedals are incredibly heavy to start pushing,
but once you start moving, they glide along easily.

So, to give those pedals a good 'heave-ho' and
start pedaling, I'm borrowing the power of this note.

I bought a new PC the week before last
and am writing this note now, but
the original reason I bought the PC
was because I was interested in becoming a web writer.

I want to write articles and create materials.
If anything, I'm fine with it just being for my own satisfaction. (lol)

However, I'm scared to face my own 'inability',
so I just can't take that first step. That's the situation I'm in.

That's why I'm declaring it here.

I am going to become a web writer!

…Oh my, I said it.
There's no turning back now (･ω･)

For now, I think I'll start by
registering on a crowdsourcing site.

To do that, I first need to
get a new email address.

If I break down the path to action
into small, manageable steps like this, I feel like I can keep going.

☑ Buy a PC (this might have been the biggest step)
☐ Get an email address
☐ Register on a crowdsourcing site

Alright. I'll proceed with this.

Also, since I don't think I can get work without building a track record first,
I'm planning to start by
creating articles that interest me,
rather than worrying about unit prices or compensation.

I was debating whether to attend a web writer school,
but I've decided to just give it a try first.

Given my personality, if I were to attend a school
or study by reading books,
I would end up being too slow to take action.

Besides, I might get bored of it
after just one day!
If that happens, it would be a waste of time!

I tend to want to prepare thoroughly
just because I want to feel 'secure'.

I'm afraid of 'not knowing' things,
so I want to stuff my head with knowledge.

Of course, that's important too, but
if I keep living my life prioritizing 'input' like that,
before I knew it, I'm already 31.

I've become just a woman who hasn't accomplished anything even at 31,
living my days in a fog while feeling the difficulty of living.

No, this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It just doesn't feel right to be living like this.

Yes, my current way of living just doesn't feel right.

These kinds of "feelings"
are surprisingly accurate.

Or rather, in my life,
I want to live while cherishing these "feelings."
That is the thought I have.

After all, humans are creatures of emotion no matter how you look at it.
If that's the case, I want to be in a happy state of mind.
I want to find small joys and turn them into big happiness.
To always stay in a happy mood,
I want to be the kind of person who can manage their own mood.

Also, for some reason, I vaguely feel like
I am going to become someone who accomplishes something.

...No, there is no basis for this, and
perhaps it might just be a wish.

It's just that I might be
mistaking a wish for a premonition. (Haha)

But, I do want to accomplish something, and
I believe I can accomplish something.

Well, it's free to think about it, so why not!! 🤣

So, first I will take action.

Since my own willpower isn't enough to take action,
I'll borrow the strength of others. I'll declare it on note.

If it were the old me,
I don't think I could have declared it on note.

Because there's no turning back, there's no need to make it public,
and there's no need to go out of my way to put my own neck in a noose.

Besides, I think I would have
blamed myself for not being able to take action. (This is important)

Why can't I take action,
even though I'm trying to do what I love,
why can't I get motivated,
why am I so sluggish and unable to get moving.

But, that was wrong.

No matter how much you love something,
there are times when you can't get motivated, and
no matter how much you love something,
starting something new is a hassle.

That's because human instinct
has immutability (the tendency not to change) engraved in it.

In the hunter-gatherer era, doing something different from usual
increased the risk of being attacked by wild beasts.
Doing something different from usual could lead to "death."

It was that kind of era.

That's why we humans fear change, and
our brains give orders to avoid change as much as possible.

That is the reason why you can't get motivated.

...In that case, there's no need to blame yourself!!
That is the conclusion I reached.

Yes, there is no need to blame yourself.
If anything, it just means you're human.

Once I understood that and stopped blaming myself,
mysteriously, I started to have
a positive feeling toward taking action.

I'm no good because I can't take action,
why can't I do it, why won't I do it.

When I was blaming myself like this,
I would become pessimistic, thinking "I'm no good at anything,"
and in the end, without taking any action,
I would stop liking the things I love.
That happened many times.

Man, my way of thinking has really changed. (Haha)

Ah, my thoughts are wandering here and there,
wavering back and forth, but
anyway, first things first,
register on a crowdsourcing site!

Oh, before that, I need to get an email address.

And so (?)
Have a great day, everyone!