#12: When You Receive Prickly Words
Have you ever experienced being attacked by what are called "prickly words"?
Haven't you?
For example, being unreasonably scolded at work, or
having a friend make a snide remark.
You want to talk back, but you don't have the courage.
In the first place, you don't want to ruin the atmosphere by talking back.
And yet, you don't have the skill to point it out jokingly either.
So you end up glossing over it somehow,
and feeling frustrated.
What if you didn't have to be bothered by these countless small, yet deeply piercing thorns?
I recently realized a very simple
"way to remain unperturbed" that anyone can do.
"Even so, the facts remain unchanged."
Just chant this in your heart.
For example, when you ask a question at work about a special case that you couldn't find even after searching, and you get yelled at, "Why don't you even know this!"
It is a fact that you don't know, but "this" is not a fact.
In other words, no matter what the other person says, there is no reason for you to be yelled at for "not knowing."
That is the fact.
Also, as a slightly different example,
When a friend tries to assert their popularity by saying, "Because of how I look, I get asked out by so many people, it's exhausting."
The other person's claim might be a fact, but it doesn't affect your own "popularity" or "evaluation."
In other words, no matter what the other person thinks of you, your value does not change.
That is the fact.
--Honestly, it's a very ordinary thing.
But when you don't have peace of mind,
I think there are times when you can't think that way.
Even if you don't receive prickly words,
it's the same when you end up comparing yourself to others on your own.
"This person seems to want to attack, but the objective facts remain unchanged."
Just by thinking that, even if you think of the other person as "a pitiful person," you will no longer feel "sad" or "annoyed" yourself.
It would be best not to receive them at all, but if you happen to receive thorns again next time.
I want you to remember something that never changes.
[Behind the Scenes]
I feel like this song is what helped me start looking at things with a bit more perspective.
Is that why that girl, who looks happy from the outside,
is wiping away her tears with lies?
This song also has these lyrics.
And is that why that girl, who looks unhappy from the outside,
is actually wealthy?
No matter what the outsiders say,
you are the one who decides whether you are happy.
Only you can decide that.
Conversely, no one else can decide someone else's happiness either.
That is why, against any kind of attack,
"The fact that I am happy does not change"
—I believe that I always want to hold onto this positive and calm mindset with confidence.