Even Without a Bridge in the Brain, I Build a Bridge of Words in My Heart: Chapter 4 | From "Incurable" to Finding My Own Way 4-5 to 4-7 | Museums as Sanctuaries
4-5 Museums as Sanctuaries
One of the habits that took root in my life after my diagnosis was visiting museums.
I had never been bad at art in school. If anything, I enjoyed both looking at and creating art. Once I learned I had agenesis of the corpus callosum, I consciously began incorporating art appreciation into my life as a means of stimulating the brain.
How the Brain Evolves Through 'Ways of Seeing' (by Beau Lotto) discusses how our perception and ways of seeing change through art. It suggests that when we stand before a painting, we are not merely looking at colors and shapes, but reinterpreting the world through our past experiences, memories, and values. In my case, a museum functions first and foremost as a
quiet sanctuary. When my mind is agitated by work or relationships and I think, I don't want to think about anything anymore, I find myself heading to a museum. The silence of the gallery, the air where footsteps and whispers mingle in the distance, the scent of oil paint—being enveloped by these things helps the noise that has built up inside my chest gradually subside. When I have the capacity, I stand before a single painting for a long time, tracing the details. The brushwork, the layering of colors, the negative space on the canvas. Through all of it, I imagine what the artist saw, what they felt, and how they captured that moment. It is also a time that slightly shakes up my own
ways of seeing time. By touching upon perspectives outside my own world, it reminds me that the world I see is not everything. Visiting museums does not directly alleviate the symptoms of agenesis of the corpus callosum. Even so, art appreciation has become an important support for me in regaining mental space and securing the emotional room to think,
I'll try a little longer.
4-6 What Music Sets Right
Music also began to occupy an important place in my life after my diagnosis.
Tamon Tanaka's Music Therapy You Can Do Yourself (Healing Mental Illness with Music) introduces the various effects music has on mental health and brain function. Relieving stress and anxiety, promoting emotional release, enhancing concentration—music organizes our brains and hearts in invisible ways.
I myself have many moments where I strongly feel the power of music. When I want to focus on work, listening to songs by my favorite artists often strangely increases my efficiency. Conversely, when I want to calm my feelings, I choose classical music or natural sounds. Sounds like rain, waves, or the rustling of a forest feel as if they are quietly washing away the noise in my head.
There are also songs I almost always hum when I feel down. Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry Be Happy. That light melody and the simple message of Don't Worry Be Happy pull me back to reality when I feel like I'm being dragged into a spiral of aimless anxiety. Just being able to think, For now, let's take a deep breath is sometimes enough to help me get through the day.
What I must be careful about is the compatibility between my emotional state and the tempo or atmosphere of the music. If I listen to fast-paced music when I am feeling down, the gap between my heart and the music can be too large, which can actually make me feel more tired. Choosing music that is just a little brighter than my current state of mind works best for me.
Music, too, is not something that cures agenesis of the corpus callosum. However, it is a presence that quietly helps with the fine-tuning needed to somehow get through today or look forward just a little bit more. The accumulation of such small adjustments, as a result, supports my life as a whole, little by little.
4-7 What Lies Beyond Accepting "It Won't Be Cured"
Agenesis of the corpus callosum is not something that can be returned to a normal brain through medication or surgery. When I was told at the university hospital that there are no further tests we can perform, that fact was presented to me in a cold manner. However, it also became an opportunity for me to re-examine the idea that medicine is not the only thing that determines how easy it is to live.
Changing my staple foods. Trying to walk a little longer. Visiting museums. Borrowing the power of music.
None of these are special. They are all things anyone can do. But when I look at them from the perspective of someone living with agenesis of the corpus callosum, I realize that each one truly supports my quality of life.
I have a brain that won't be cured to normal. That is certainly a reality. But at the same time, the reality that there are still things I can do and I can choose how to live with my brain at my own pace also exists here.
What I have written in this chapter is only a small part of that. But I hope that for those who are told no problems found in tests while carrying invisible difficulties in their daily lives, this might provide even one hint that makes them think, I might be able to try this too.
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