🩶I want to be strong. But I hated that I also carried weakness

Good evening. This is Nanami Gigi.
In this article, I will write about "I want to be strong. But I hated that I also carried weakness." Please understand that the following is strictly my personal opinion.
※This article was written with the help of ChatGPT to articulate my thoughts.

I want to be strong. But I hated that I also carried weakness

──The "not perfect me" is also standing tall.

Introduction: Trying hard had become the "norm"

Before I knew it, I was always tense.
I felt like if I didn't keep producing results, someone would overtake me.
I felt like if I showed my emotions, everything would fall apart.

Every time I was told "You're amazing," the pressure increased.
Every time I was told "You're strong," my true feelings drifted further away.

But one day,
The moment I returned home alone and closed the door, I couldn't stop crying.
"Huh? Could it be that I was pushing myself way too hard?"
──It didn't take long to realize that.

"If I'm not strong, I won't be loved." I believed that.

I wanted to be strong.

Not crying, not relying on others, and producing results.
I thought those were the conditions for being a "person worthy of recognition."

So, no matter how painful it was, I smiled.
Even when I felt sick, I didn't take time off work.
Even when I was troubled, I brushed it off by saying "I'll manage somehow."

Not causing trouble for anyone and handling everything on my own.
I thought that was what it meant to be an "adult" and a "cool woman."

But perhaps that wasn't "strength," but "stubbornness."

Showing weakness was not a defeat

Once, a senior I had always respected said this to me.

Hearing those words, my chest tightened.

I had always thought that not relying on anyone was "strength," but "acknowledging my weak self" was the true meaning of "strength."

Let's be "honest" with ourselves

・On tough days, take a proper rest
・When you want to cry, cry even if it's in secret
・When you want to rely on someone, gather your courage and reach out

──I always thought that being like this was not good enough.
But now, I want to tell myself, "Even so, you are moving forward."

I used to push myself, thinking, "I have to try harder,"
but I was already trying hard enough.
I am the only one who can realize that.

Summary: To become strong is surely to become "kind"

We are not perfect human beings.
That is exactly why we get lost, get hurt, and stop in our tracks.

But precisely because we know such imperfection,
we can be kind to others and experience life more deeply.

"I want to be stronger"
──If you think that, I hope you don't leave your weaknesses behind.

The imperfect me deserves to be loved, too.
The me who cries, the me who looks uncool,
let's tell ourselves, "Even so, just being alive is amazing."

That "weakness" of yours
will surely become a "strength" that saves someone else.

That is the end of the article. I hope it was helpful. Thank you for reading. I always get energy from looking at the number of views and likes, so I am very happy to receive reactions to my articles.

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