At 53, I think the smile of my 10-month-old grandchild is just unfair
Tomorrow is my day off.
It was the day before, and I was thinking about spending it slowly while making some vague plans.
I received a LINE message from my daughter.
"Her cough is really bad, and she might have a fever tomorrow."
Of course, she was talking about my grandchild.
I replied immediately.
"I'm off tomorrow and don't have any plans, so it's fine."
I know.
This was my daughter's way of setting things up.
And it was a strategy to make me worry.
Of course, I contacted my daughter first thing the next morning.
"How is the baby? Is she okay?"
Then my daughter replied,
"She doesn't have a fever, but her cough is so bad she hasn't been able to sleep, so she's still asleep."
Once I heard that, I couldn't tell her to just take her to daycare.
If she hasn't been able to sleep, I feel sorry for her.
I'll take care of her today.
When I told her that, my daughter replied, "You're a lifesaver!!"
From that point on, I couldn't stop feeling restless.
She said she was going to take her to the hospital first, so I went along.
After the appointment, I had my daughter go to work.
And that was when it started.
My first long time babysitting my 10-month-old grandchild as a 53-year-old grandma began.
I used a child seat for the first time to bring my grandchild back to my house.
It's a 40-minute drive home.
As expected, she wasn't used to the child seat.
She started crying on the way.
I talked to her while driving.
"We'll be there soon."
"It's okay."
I don't know if my voice reached her.
Even so, I couldn't help but talk to her.
We managed to arrive home.
Although she seemed uncomfortable with a runny and stuffy nose, her mood was excellent.
She was all smiles.
Just seeing that smile makes me smile naturally, too.
My 10-month-old grandchild can now even pull herself up to stand.
She moves fast, too.
If I take my eyes off her for even a second, she's already heading somewhere else.
I can't let her get hurt.
I follow my grandchild with all my might.
But my grandchild has no idea about my nervousness.
Standing up, sitting down.
Trying to stand up again.
She moves without knowing her own limits yet.
That's why it's dangerous.
But strangely, I didn't feel any anger.
I just want to protect her.
I just think she's cute.
I wanted to let her do as she pleased as much as possible.
That's what I thought.
This might be something that's hard to do from a parent's perspective.
When raising children, you have the responsibility of being a parent.
Of course, there is also responsibility in looking after a grandchild.
But perhaps because there is a little bit of distance, the way I interact with her is different.
When I was raising my daughter, I was desperate every day.
I think the feeling that I had to raise her properly was greater than the luxury of thinking she was cute.
But now, as a grandmother, I have time to just watch her grow.
She stood up.
She laughed.
She looked at me.
She reached out her hand.
Each one of those things makes me incredibly happy.
In the evening, my daughter came to pick her up.
Since she was going to give her a bath before going home, I ended up being the one to bathe my grandchild.
I heard that she cries if anyone other than her mother gives her a bath.
So I was a little nervous.
But my grandchild didn't cry.
I was happy just with that, but in the end, when I opened my arms and said "Come here," she came to me on her own.
It was just that.
But for me, it was a big event.
Honestly, babysitting for a long time was tough.
I was desperate just keeping up with her movements.
I was on edge the whole time to make sure she didn't get hurt.
Even so, the time I spent with my grandchild was simply happy.
That moment when she reached out to me was surely the reward for this day.
Normally, as a nurse, I'm in a position where I have to be very careful not to get infected.
But this time, I spent the day sticking close to my grandchild with a runny nose and even getting coughed on directly.
As a result—I definitely caught her cold.
Even so, strangely, I don't feel bad about it at all.
At 53, I think the smile of my 10-month-old grandchild is just unfair.
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