The story of how I was exhausted by work that was supposed to enrich my life

I was exhausted by work that was supposed to enrich my life.

Since the beginning of the year, I haven't been able to get into top gear.
I have things I need to do and things I want to do in my head, but I can't get my hands moving.
Applying for client work and updating my profile.
I kept opening and closing the screen over and over again.

"Maybe I don't actually want to do this."
I even started to doubt myself like that.

The relentless way of working that continued until the end of the year

When I stopped for a moment to look back, I realized something.

Until the end of the year, I was doing client work.
The content was X management and blog post creation.

X management involves small tasks popping up all day long.
I'd worry about notifications, wait for reactions, and before I knew it, my brain was in work mode all the time.
Blog post creation also required me to constantly be aware of deadlines, revisions, and client standards.

My body was giving me clear signs

Back then, I had chronic shoulder stiffness and lack of sleep.
Honestly, I don't think I had many days where I felt good.
Even when I thought I was resting, I remained tense somewhere inside.

As soon as I quit the job, I felt the tension suddenly drain away.
At the same time, I found myself unable to start running even when the new year arrived.

The reason I couldn't move wasn't laziness

That's when I finally realized.
I wasn't slacking off, and I wasn't being lazy.

Both X management and blog post creation were
jobs where I could never let my guard down.

I started them to enrich my life, but
before I knew it, tension had become my daily routine.
I think my body remembered that discomfort well.

Stop doing both for now

The reason I couldn't move at the start of the year was
not because I didn't want to do it,
but a sign that I didn't want to go back to the same way of doing things.

So I decided.
I will stop doing both for now.

The small choice I made for myself now

For now, I'm thinking of only applying for blog post creation client work.
I won't do X management.
That's because I felt that a way of working where I have to be on edge all day long doesn't suit me right now.

Even so, if I get exhausted again, I can just quit.
I'll just think about it when the time comes.

Readjusting to a way of working that brings richness

Even if you can't run at full speed from the start of the year,
if you've been able to stop and realize something, that is enough.

I intend to properly readjust the work that was supposed to bring richness to my life
into a form that truly brings that richness.

Thank you for reading this far.
May your day be a wonderful one.