"Thank you for playing with me"—How the "playing with children" I wasn't good at saved my heart

I was never very good at playing with children.

I like seeing children having fun, but
the "play" I envisioned and the "play" my daughter wanted to do were completely different.

The gap between the play I thought of and my daughter's play

Playing with a ball, playing tag, or playing together on playground equipment.
I felt like I could enjoy that kind of active play.

But when my daughter was small, she didn't show much interest in that kind of play,
and was instead absorbed in things like touching water, picking up stones, or staring at the ground.
She was obsessed with things that adults might not even consider "play."

I found it incredibly difficult to match that "rhythm I didn't quite understand."
I would even find myself thinking, "What is fun about this?"

"Oh, I can enjoy this together"

However, recently, as my daughter has grown a little bit,
the number of games with rules and things we can enjoy together has increased.

Playing with a ball, going down the slide, playing rock-paper-scissors tag.
"Ah, I can enjoy this together"—the moments I can think that have increased.

In middle school, I stopped "playing"

Then one day, I suddenly remembered my middle school days.
Even in middle school, I liked playing in the park.
I liked going down the slide and spinning around on the monkey bars.

But my friends said it was "childish," and gradually stopped playing.
I felt embarrassed too, and stopped playing as well.

Ever since then, deep down in my heart, I would watch children playing happily in the park and
felt envious, thinking "That looks nice."
Even after becoming an adult, that is.

The "time to play again" that my daughter gave me

Now, while playing with my daughter,
I feel like I am gradually regaining the "spirit of play" I gave up on back then.
Who decided that "adults shouldn't play"?

I think my daughter taught me the joy of playing once again.
And I naturally found myself saying,
"Thank you for playing with me."

I don't know how long we will be able to play like this.
But right now, I am truly grateful to my daughter for playing with me.