[Monologue] How my values regarding work changed after having a child👶
I'm changing the mood a bit this time,
so I think I'll talk about my child👶🏼
The old me was the type of person who felt that [work is life].
But after giving birth to my child, my way of thinking about work
has truly changed completely.
I am very sorry to keep talking about my past,
but back then,
[I wanted to be more appreciated]
[I wanted to be someone who is good at their job]
I was always thinking about things like that.
Basically, I would go to work even if I felt unwell.
(Though I did take time off when I caught COVID)
I would work overtime if we were short-staffed.
I believed that [those who can push themselves are righteous].
But after my child was born, that way of thinking gradually changed.
Plans fall apart just because of the child's health,
and the morning comes even after a night of crying.
My own pace doesn't apply at all.
There are days when I'm just barely managing to survive the day.
Compared to when I was working alone without enough staff,
I feel like dealing with the night crying
was actually the toughest part.
But in the midst of that,
I've become able to see things
that I couldn't see before.
The old me
thought that [people who can work hard] were amazing.
But now, when I see people who do housework, raise children, and work every day, yet still try to smile,
I think they are truly amazing.
(I'm just saying 'amazing' over and over, haha)
And above all, I've become able to think that [work isn't everything].
I used to worry only about being evaluated,
but now
"Did they eat their meal properly?"
"Did they smile today?"
Small things like that are more important.
I feel like my child is teaching me
the parts I couldn't notice because I was too busy until now.
Actually, in the past, I hated [family].
I even felt disgust at the word [family].
Now, I am being taught about [family]
by my 1-year-old child.
I spend every day with that feeling.
Of course, work is still important.
But I was made to realize that there is no need to break myself
just for the sake of work.
Since giving birth to my child,
I feel like I am finally relearning
how to [work hard] just a little bit.
My child is still small,
but I am filled with heartfelt gratitude😊