[Parenting Diary] Gradually, I am becoming a mother
Three months into motherhood.
I have finally started to feel "motherly" emotions welling up from within.
What I consider "motherliness" refers to states such as:
・Feeling that my child is adorable
・Wanting to protect them from anything
・Generally having a generous heart
These are the states I am referring to.
(After asking myself what "motherliness" is, these are the points I arrived at. I imagine this will change when I look back on it later.)
Immediately after giving birth, I didn't possess the kind of maternal instinct that makes you spontaneously call a child cute, and I questioned whether I was a defective mother—or rather, a defective product. It wasn't something I could easily say to anyone, and it was very painful.
Even now, it is difficult for me to spontaneously say "Your child is cute" to a parent I see with their child. That is because I don't know that child's personality or daily life. (I recently realized that I am only able to think my own child is "cute" because I know their personality and the expressions they show in our daily life.)
However, after watching a child for a while, I have become able to naturally talk to them, saying things like, "You're amazing! You're so cute! You can even do that?"
Still, I suppose I am only at the chick level as a mother. Even when I go to events for parents with babies, I feel nervous and only start to get used to the environment in the second half. In contrast, my baby often sits there with a dignified, unchanging expression. The baby is already more like a hen.
I picked up a book at the library that caught my eye, and it was very interesting. Whether you have children or not, it is sure to bring a smile or a laugh to anyone who was once a child.
A father records the mysterious words his son used in daily life along with the episodes behind them. It makes you chuckle and brings a little tear to your eye. A new form of essay that focuses on "children's words" that don't remain in photographs.
Children start talking as early as 9 months old. Since it is said that they start using two-word sentences like "Mommy, come" around age two, I suppose it will be a little while before I can make a dictionary for my own child, but I want to write down the words they say in our daily life and burn these passing scenes into my memory.
By the way, lately, my son has been obsessed with playing peek-a-boo with a demon mask from Setsubun, and I think that paper mask will continue to be a regular favorite for a while, even after today is over. He giggles, so the demon is no longer positioned as something scary, but I guess that's fine.
I am becoming a "mother" along with you.