Essay 📕 Genius Boy, Natural Girl 🤯
"Moo-yan! Hee-hee-tsu!"
Yes, when I was in elementary school, my head looked just like the record jacket of Ouyang Fei Fei's signature song, "Love Is Over."
I'm not exaggerating; I had such naturally curly hair that even a crying child would fall silent.
Even though I had silky straight hair when I was little. Why did my hair turn out like this? I would sometimes resent God, thinking, "You're so mean!"
Instead of looking straight at the blackboard from the back of the classroom, I would stare at straight black hair, feeling enchanted and envious, thinking, "It's so pretty. I wish I had that..."
Then one day, I was having a typical elementary school argument—not quite a fight—with a mischievous boy in my class nicknamed "Seamon."
Suddenly, he turned to me and
"Natural curly ramen head!!"
he blurted out.
"N-n-natural curly ramen head!?"
Gaan!
Zudoon!!
Biri-biri-biri~!!!
In that moment, I felt as if a meteorite had crashed into my newly named natural curly ramen head, and lightning was coursing through my entire body.
"W-what a rhythmic!
And such precise metaphorical expression...
Once you hear it, you can't forget it.
No, I will never forget it for the rest of my life!"
He wasn't just some mischievous boy!
Simon was a genius boy!
To think he would hog such a wonderful nickname all to himself
Is wrong. Absolutely.
Witnessing an elementary school friend who was awakened without the use of stimulants, I decided to announce this ingenious nickname spectacularly in front of my classmates, much like the announcement ceremony for the
"U-Can Buzzword Awards,"
which hadn't even started yet at the time.
"But I'm scared. Do I have the courage to do that?"
"You can do it! Yes! You! Can!"
I felt like I heard a voice from somewhere encouraging me.
Back then, a 'closing meeting' was held every day after class, where we would freely announce or discuss the good and bad things that happened that day.
If I was going to announce it, it had to be now! With my heart pounding and occasionally feeling like I might give up, I made up my mind, raised my hand straight up, and said,
Today, Simon called me
a natural curly-whirly ramen head
!" I announced.
The next moment,
"BOOM!"
"Hahahaha!"
"Bravo!"
That was supposed to turn the whole classroom into a whirlpool of joy!
Or so I thought... but in reality, there wasn't even anyone to tease me, and the place was wrapped in a silence as deep as the ocean floor.
The worst!
Oops!
I messed up!
Just because we were elementary schoolers didn't mean we were all just little kids playing nice together; they had already developed adult-like judgment of right and wrong.
Simon, who had cruelly become the defendant, stood up quietly
and apologized, saying, "I'm sooooo sorry..."
No, that's not it!
There was no winning for him, despite his praiseworthy talent, and because of me, he had been put through a terrible ordeal.
I didn't mean for it to happen, I'm sorry...
After that, as time passed, I met a savior called "hair straightening" and went from
naturally curly ramen hair
to
artificially sleek somen hair
Although I had transformed, the "tingling sensation" from the moment I was named Ramen-head remained stuck in my Somen-head, refusing to go away.
Despite being the one who named him, I never had the chance to see Seamon after graduation, but around my mid-twenties, while I was working as a receptionist at a pediatric clinic, guess what! Seamon appeared, all grown up and a dad.
“Oh! Long time no see...”
Amidst the surprise and a tiny bit of awkwardness,
“It’s been a long time~ Since I last saw you~
How many years~ Have passed since then~♪”
As,
Rumiko Koyanagi’s famous song echoed in my head,
“Seamon has really grown up... And he’s a dad!? He’s become so respectable...”
As I was soaking in that sentimental mood,
“You haven’t changed at all!”
Seamon said to me.
“Huh? That’s not true! Look closely!!
The ramen turned into somen, right?
I’ve grown up a little too, haven’t I?”
While thinking that in my heart,
“Genius Copywriter”
It wasn’t quite that feeling, but
holding his “Angel Baby”
I was able to see Seamon looking so happy, and my former natural curly-ramen-head mind was filled straight with a celebratory mood.
I hope I can do some “filial piety as a godparent” through my receptionist work!
With that feeling, I happily spun my pen and made a medical card for the cute Seamon baby.
Afterword ✏️
That brings back so many memories...✨️
It’s been nearly 40 years since the naming 🍜🧑🦱❗️❓️
And over 20 years have passed since our reunion 🗓️
From a natural curly ramen-noodle head 🍥 to
an artificial smooth somen-noodle head 🥢, and then
to becoming a vintage sparkling glass-noodle head ✨️
Life is truly full of flavor, isn't it? ☕💕
It's also fun to imagine that Simon's daughter 👶
must have grown into a fine young lady 👩 by now 🏵️🎶