For those who are afraid of trains due to panic disorder. What I did to overcome my fear of trains
🎶~ The train will be arriving at platform 1 shortly.
Please wait behind the yellow line.
Just hearing this announcement makes my heart start pounding.
I took my medicine. I have my water with me. I already went to the bathroom.
Even though I did everything I could, the moment I saw the train entering the platform, my hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Nice to meet you, I'm yuina.
In this note, I, who have experienced panic disorder and depression, use my own experiences to put into words how to face your mind and body and the concept of "tuning" yourself.
Having panic disorder and being unable to ride the train
Even though my head knows it's okay,
my feet won't move when the doors open, so I bow to the people behind me and let the train go,
waiting for the next one.
I repeated that over and over again.
Even if I finally managed to get on the train, I couldn't feel at ease.
The few minutes until the next station felt like hours.
When I saw a river outside the window, I wished from the bottom of my heart, "Please don't stop...!"
"What if I can't breathe like this?"
"What if I faint?"
Thoughts like these would spin around and around,
and I just prayed for the ride to be over.
I was searching for "panic disorder train overcome"
Back then, just like you are now,
I was searching for "train panic disorder overcome" to find ways to cope.
That is exactly why I want to share this.
You who are carrying that fear right now are by no means weak or strange.
I myself was diagnosed with panic disorder, and I was one of those people who was more afraid of trains than anything else, especially the sections that crossed rivers between prefectures.
Now, those attacks no longer happen, and just like before, I can sit normally even on sections that take hours or while crossing those rivers between prefectures.
What I did to overcome my fear of trains while having panic disorder
It wasn't that I solved it immediately with one method to get from that state to being able to ride the train like I do now.
1. Three ways to bring your consciousness back to the "here and now"
"What if the train stops?"
"What if I need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the ride?"
"What if I get sick and no one helps me?"
Such anxieties naturally cross my mind.
When I think about this anxiety calmly, I arrive at the common point that everything ispredicting the "future" in a negative way.
Of course, it is important to be prepared in case something bad happens.
But whether "something bad will happen or not" is something
no human being can know.
What you are living in is not a "bad future" but"now".
So, instead of using my thoughts on a "bad future",
I practiced focusing my thoughts on the "here and now."
The hand holding the smartphone right in front of me now.
The warmth of the device felt from my hand. The smell of the room. The wind blowing through my hair...
Since you cannot think about "now" and the "future" at the same time,
let's try to be conscious of cherishing what is right in front of us now.
I will share three methods.
How to bring your consciousness back to "now" | ① Focus on your breathing
Square breathing, done by imagining a rectangle.
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds.
Because you hold your breath once after inhaling, you get the sensation of being able to exhale more deeply.
Counting numbers also leads to relaxation, so
you can expect the effect of loosening your body's tension while focusing on the present.
As you repeat it,the tension in your shoulders will suddenly release, and you should be able to understand that feeling.
How to bring your consciousness back to "now" | ② Use your five senses to confirm "now"
It is also recommended to reconfirm what you feel in this moment, such as the texture of the seat fabric, the sounds you hear, and the smell of the place.
Try touching your bag to check its texture, or carefully look at the shape of the plastic bottle in your hand.
It's also great to put your favorite scent in an atomizer or carry a scented handkerchief with you!
Focusing on listening to music with earphones is also good!
How to bring your consciousness back to "now" | ③ Realize that "thoughts are not facts"
I tried ① and ②. Even so, anxious thoughts still come to mind.
At such times, try to be conscious of viewing them from a step back, thinking,
'This thought is a negative prediction of the future. It is not the reality happening right now.'
'I am on the train right now,'
'I am looking outside from the train right now,' I chant in my heart, and acknowledge,
'I am doing great for being able to do this!'
In this way, it is also important to develop the habit of clearly distinguishing between 'future anxiety' and
'what I am able to do now.'
I think it takes time until you can concentrate enough to dispel the anxiety.
Even so, by incorporating it little by little,
it will definitely lead to a 'future where you can do it.'
2. By reviewing my eating habits, my body itself became stable
In the process of me, with panic disorder, becoming able to ride the train, another big factor was 'improving my eating habits.'
At that time, my life consisted of only coffee or milk tea in the morning, sweet bread and energy drinks for lunch, and a bowl of rice and alcohol for dinner.
Looking back, I think the content of my meals, which caused blood sugar levels to fluctuate wildly, fueled my palpitations and restlessness.
Specifically, I changed the following points.
Refrained from morning coffee and replaced it with hot water or herbal tea.
Instead of sweet bread or snacks, I started choosing things that do not cause blood sugar levels to rise suddenly, such as rice balls, nuts, and boiled eggs.
I became conscious of consuming fermented foods and dietary fiber.
Improving eating habits did not have the immediate effect of meditation, but I felt that my body was gradually changing into one that was 'less prone to anxiety in the first place.'
Furthermore, after a few months, the frequency of getting irritated or anxious over trivial things decreased, and my skin tone improved.
To you, who has panic disorder and must ride the train now. 3 tips you can do immediately
I think there are some people who say, 'Even if you tell me to take it slow, I have to ride the train tomorrow!'
I was the same way in the past. I will summarize what you can try immediately at such times.
1. Secure an escape route
Just by preparing options like 'I can get off anytime,' such as choosing a local train or a seat near the door, psychological leeway is created.
If you also check the time between stations,
'I will do my best for just 2 minutes next,'
'10 more minutes until the station after next,' etc.
I feel that knowing what is ahead also leads to an escape route and a sense of security.
2. Control your breathing
When you start to feel anxious, please try the square breathing method.
'Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds again.'
By counting '1, 2, 3, 4' in your head, it becomes easier to shift your consciousness from the anxiety that comes up one after another to your breathing.
However, if you try to inhale deeply when you are struggling, you may feel breathless instead.
If 4 seconds is too long, 2 or 3 seconds is fine.
If it is painful to hold your breath, it is okay to just 'inhale shortly and exhale slowly.'
Rather than doing it correctly, try to be conscious of a pace that you feel comfortable with and making your exhaled breath a little longer.
3. Keep an item that brings your consciousness back to the 'now'
Keeping an item on hand that helps bring your focus back to the "here and now" using your five senses is one method.
I used to keep a hand cream with my favorite scent in my pouch as a kind of lucky charm.
By applying it to my hands, smelling the scent, and focusing on the sensation of the cream on my skin, it became easier to gradually return to the sensations right in front of me.
It could be your favorite music, a small item with a nice texture, or a cold drink—anything works.
Just having something that makes you think, "I can calm down a little if I have this," becomes a source of comfort when riding the train.
I can't ride the train because of panic disorder. Don't rush; taking it one step at a time is fine.
There is no magical method to overcome panic disorder that will cure you instantly if you just do this one thing.
It took me quite a long time before I could ride the train while casually looking at my phone.
Even so, what I want to tell you, who are searching for answers because you are afraid of trains right now, is
that "your current state will not last forever."
Please try things one by one, starting with what you can do.
I would be happy if the meditation and dietary adjustments I experienced could become a small step toward you reclaiming your "able-to-ride" self.
Notice
Palpitations, anxiety, dizziness, inability to sleep,
not being able to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning—
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you feel that there is a limit to dealing with it through medication.
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