2/14 (Sat) Held our monthly support group for parents of children who do not attend school

On this day, six parents joined us.
Thank you so much for coming.

In another room, six children were present, and four more joined from remote locations to participate in the "Metaverse Amusement Park." I hope everyone had a fun time in their own way.

This time, four new families came to "Yui-Link Hiroshima."
I believe it takes a lot of courage to visit a new place, even if you want to attend a parent support group.

I am truly grateful that you came despite that.
It is perfectly fine to come just once. If talking helped lighten your burden even a little or gave you some energy to take home, then I feel that starting this group has served its purpose.

Theme of the session: "Father's attitude" and partnership

A major topic of discussion this time was about "how fathers perceive the situation."

There were comments that a father's words and attitude affect both:
・The marital relationship (partnership)
・The parent-child bond of trust

That both of these are being affected was a point raised.

It was mentioned that there are cases where a father's attitude differs between a son and a daughter, even when both are not attending school.

The difficulty of "accepting"

Especially for generations who have lived with the values that "working hard" and "enduring" are the norm, the very act of "accepting" can be a source of confusion.

From a father's perspective,

・Why they don't go to school is incomprehensible
・Feeling anxious about what will happen in the future
・Worrying about whether they can enter society, especially in the case of a son

Such thoughts may naturally surface.

The state of one's heart is invisible.
Because of that, it may inevitably "look like they are being lazy."

On the other hand, it is also a fact that there are mothers who feel hurt and lonely because of those words and attitudes.
When you are already doing your best for your child, the added strain of a disconnect with your partner can easily exhaust your heart.

In reality, both fathers and mothers may be suffering out of a "desire for their child's well-being."
I believe it is just that the way they express it is different.

Things I want you to remember

At times like these, there is something I want you to remember for a moment.
That is the day your child was born.

That day when your heart was full just because they were born safely.
That moment when you felt they were precious just because they were alive.

As children grow, they become capable of more, and naturally, expectations arise.
It is precisely because of those expectations that when they stop attending school,

・You may feel as though you have been betrayed
・Anxiety about the future may cause anger to well up

It is only natural for such feelings to emerge.
But for now, try focusing your awareness just a little bit on the child who is right in front of you at this very moment.

They are alive and safe today.
They exist right here.

Perhaps just feeling that fact can bring you a little closer to the act of "acceptance."

What is needed for acceptance

And, in order to accept school refusal, it is important to first accept yourself.

Without realizing it, we hold ideal images in our hearts, such as:
"As a mother, I should be like this"
"As a father, I should do this"
I used to be the same way.

The stronger those ideals are,
the easier it becomes to blame yourself or others
when you encounter a reality that does not go as planned.

Acknowledging yourself as you are.
Being able to think "that's okay" even on days when things don't go well.
This is called "self-acceptance."

This "self-acceptance" is an essential foundation of the heart for moving toward the "Acceptance Stage" found in the "Parental Stages" table introduced in the previous article, "Working in Hiroshima City..."

Start by acknowledging yourself for your efforts more than anyone else does.
That becomes the strength that supports the recovery of both parent and child.

Notice

Yuilink Hiroshima will be participating in the market for school-refusing children being held at Shareo on 3/15.

On the day, we will be offering a free "self-acceptance" check and a simple workshop.
Parents and children can do it together, so if you are interested, please feel free to come and visit us.