[Baton Relay] Becoming okay with an ordinary life.

I received this baton from my follower, 193.

I truly admire 193's ability to come up with ideas, being able to write so many pieces for various themed projects. I'm not joking when I say I feel like they have an infinite supply of drawers to pull from.

Since I received this baton from 193, I'll gladly accept it and write this piece.

The project starts here.

・Something you did that made someone happy
・Something someone did for you that made you happy

The instructions were to write about one of these and pass the baton on. It seems either is fine, so I'll go with "something someone did for you that made you happy."

It's not exactly something a "person" did for me, but I'd like to write about something that truly made me happy.

Nowadays, I almost never feel "depressed." The reason is that, having lived this long, I've come to understand that life is going to be okay.

However, from puberty until I was about 30, I was constantly depressed. Up until elementary school, I think my life was in top form, and everything I did went well. Even if things didn't go well, I lived feeling like it was totally fine because I was doing what I loved (at that time, mostly baseball).

Once I hit puberty, the level of things I had been doing well rose, and I felt like I couldn't keep up anymore.

For example, with studies or sports, there were tons of people around me who could do them well. Some friends got partners, some were happily immersed in their passions, some were shining as they chased their dreams, and others were being praised.

I'd find someone I liked and confess, only to be rejected. It wasn't that I was gloomy, and I was doing reasonably well, but I suppose my own ideals were just too high, especially since I had been in such top form before puberty.

Those ideals I couldn't catch up to kept drifting further away, and the real me had gone somewhere else entirely.

This isn't particularly strange; it's something common after puberty, and I know now that it's fine as long as you don't let it get too complicated. But when you're in the middle of it, you don't know that. After all, it's the first time experiencing all of those things, so it can't be helped.

Because I was perfectly caught in that trap, I would get depressed over every little thing. Whenever I started something new, it wasn't because it was something I truly wanted to do, but because I had an ulterior motive of "wanting to be thought of as amazing," so there was no way I could enjoy it.

Even so, because I was acting out the role of "someone who is doing well," my heart became exhausted.

Ah, I'm no good anymore. My life, I suppose, is no good. I can manage to get by, but I'll probably just end up being someone with nothing.

Thinking that, I drank beer I didn't even like and cried in the middle of the night under the eaves of my house.

While I was doing that, "he" would approach. He would press himself right up against my side and lean his body into me. Then, he would put his front paw on my thigh and tap it over and over again.

My dog, named "Koro," isn't usually very friendly. He wags his tail with all his might at mealtime and during walks, but if he's in a bad mood, he might even bite.

Koro stuck to me and wouldn't let go. Every time I tapped my thigh, my tears wouldn't stop. Koro licked my face over and over. It felt as if he were wiping away my tears, and that softened my heart.

I hugged Koro tightly. Usually, he might growl a 'grrr' as if to tell me to stop. But at that moment, he didn't say anything; I could only hear his panting breath as he stuck out his tongue.

I don't know how many times I was saved by that. I was truly happy that he did that for me, and I was able to think that maybe it was okay for me to just be myself.

As I write this now, remembering him who is no longer here, my heart tightens. Perhaps he is still holding me even now.

It could be said that the reason my life is okay is because of that.

Thank you for that time.
I am filled with the desire to convey that.

With that said, he wasn't a human, but is that alright?

I thought about who I should pass the next baton to, and I have decided to entrust it to these two people.

Shiina Pizza-san

Natto Gohan-san

Shiina Pizza-san and Natto Gohan-san are a married couple. I am curious about what each of them will write.

You can also return the baton, so please do not feel burdened.

Below is an excerpt from Chainner-san's article.

Regarding [Returning the Baton Relay]

Of course, there are those who are not enthusiastic about the baton relay
This is something I felt strongly when I tried it in the past
Therefore, it is not mandatory
That is why there is a "Baton Relay Return System"

Here are the two methods

① Write a note saying you are returning it to Chainner, and if you share this note, I will take it over and write about my own "things I did to make people happy" and "things done for me that made me happy"! Please feel free to return the baton to me!

② Alternatively, you can just write in the comments of this note of mine that you are returning the baton, and that is also OK

Please feel free to participate in a way that is not a burden to you!

Since it is a baton received from a precious fellow noter, you may decide that you want to participate, but you do not want to pass it on because it would be a burden to other noters...
That is also a valid decision.

In that case, if you write in your note that you are returning it to Chainner, I will take it back, and I will write another"Life is a competition to make others happy"!
Please feel free to return the baton to me without hesitation!

After participating in "Life is a competition to make others happy",you may feel that passing the baton would be a burden to other noters and you do not want to pass it on...

As another method for such people, there is theAnchor Declaration.
After you have written your "Life is a competition to make others happy" note, please make an "Anchor Declaration" and cross the finish line as is!
I will not receive or pass on the baton, and it will end there!
This is a method for those who feel bad about returning it to me as well!

It is something like this.
Please, everyone, enjoy this without feeling any burden!