55 Years Old, Me, Becoming a Mother!? ③ [#CreativeAwards2025 #EntertainmentOriginalWorkCategory]
The faint sound of machinery echoed in the quiet examination room.
Kenichi blinked repeatedly at the sensation of cold gel being applied to his abdomen.
Kenichi blinked repeatedly.
(Does this mean... I'm really pregnant?)
Clenching his sweaty hands,
Kenichi stared at the monitor.
"Alright, let's take a look."
At the same time as the doctor's calm voice, a heartbeat resonated.
It was a sound that made it clear there was life there.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump...
Kenichi's whole body froze.
"...This, could it be... the sound of a heart...?"
"That's right, it's the baby's heartbeat. It's growing up healthy and strong."
"............!"
His chest tightened intensely.
My heart just can't keep up with a body that is trying to protect this life.
My heart just can't keep up.
(...Are you serious...)
I thought Yumi's pregnancy had been much quieter and calmer.
But maybe that was just because I
"didn't pay attention."
Maybe she was also going through these painful days, throwing up and unable to sleep...
(Back then... did I hear a sound like this?
No, I didn't even go to the hospital to listen...)
It felt as if my past self was grabbing me by the back.
The
"father I was"who knew nothing and didn't even try to know, aches deep in my chest.
"The baby is doing well. The morning sickness will settle down when the time comes."
The doctor's explanation didn't even reach my ears—
***
After the examination was over, I fixed my clothes and returned to the waiting room, and
Manabe came over to my side.
“Thank you for your hard work during the checkup.”
“...Oh, yes.”
“Come to think of it... I remember well the first time you came here.”
Manabe smiled slowly.
“At your first prenatal checkup, you heard the baby’s heartbeat and... you were crying. You kept saying, ‘Thank you.’”
“...Huh?”
“But at your second checkup... you came in with such a dark expression, shedding tears in silence... I wondered if something had happened.”
“...Is that... so...”
To Kenichi, who spoke vaguely, Manabe did not ask anything further,
just quietly patted his shoulder and walked away.
(...Miya. What happened to you?)
As he put his medical card into his bag, Kenichi thought absentmindedly.
Why was Miya, who had been so happy about this life,
shedding tears—?
Even though we share the same body,
the existence of Miya feels so far away...
***
Even after leaving the hospital,
that tiny heartbeat lingered in Kenichi's ears.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump──.
It was a strange sound, as if someone, somewhere far away, was beating the drum of life.
(...Is that what it means to be alive...)
With a reality he still couldn't fully accept,
only bewilderment remained in his chest.
However,
the moment he heard that heartbeat──
he felt something
faintly react deep within his body.
Manabe's words suddenly came back to him.
"At her first checkup, she was crying and saying 'thank you' over and over."
(...Were you that happy, Miya?)
Why was she able to cry like that?
Was that emotion the same as
what Kenichi himself had once felt,
or was it something entirely different?
──He remembers the time Yumi told him she was pregnant.
Back then,
I remember that after Kenichi was surprised, he was surprisingly excited.
(But... even when the child was born, in the end, I thought 'a man's role is to earn money'... and I didn't do anything...)
I assumed that changing diapers and waking up to crying in the middle of the night were 'the mother's (Yumi's) job'.
I didn't even think to offer to help...
Since I was the one earning the money,
it was only natural to leave the housework to her.
Somewhere, I thought that way.
(...Even so, I was still happy when I found out about the pregnancy. Having a family was just pure joy, wasn't it...)
Then—why was Miya at her second checkup
looking so gloomy, not saying a single word,
and shedding tears...
(You were supposed to be happy about the birth of this life, weren't you...?)
Even though we are in the same body,
Miya's emotions feel as distant as if she were a completely different person.
Perhaps there is something there
that I could never know...
***
The sound of the refrigerator, the quiet room, and an air that felt somewhat inorganic.
(It doesn't feel like I've come home...)
In the bathroom, there was only
women's body soap and shampoo.
Inside the closet, too,
only women's clothes were hanging quietly.
The shoes were only women's as well.
There was only one toothbrush, too.
Looking around, there was no sign of a man anywhere.
(There is... no trace that a man was ever in this room...?)
That was the moment it first turned into a "question."
(Then, who is the father...?)
Even though this life must have been created with someone,
the existence of "that someone" does not come to Kenichi's mind...
(The father... is... who... and where is he...?)
That single, simple question resonated with a strange heaviness.
When he looked at the desk in the middle of the room,
an ultrasound photo, presumably from the last time, was lying there.
Along with it, there was a notebook.
(This is...)
Kenichi reached out his hand gently.
I felt the answer was right there───