When Anxiety Won't Stop: How to Regain Peace from the Body, Not the Mind
An indescribable sense of anxiety.
Even after learning about the mind through mindfulness or meditation, and being told, 'In times like that, it's better to distract yourself a little,' I still find myself immediately sinking back into that anxiety.
Sometimes there isn't even a specific 'thing' I'm troubled by, and when I try to distract myself or shift my attention to something else, there are times when I simply cannot do it.
I think we all have times like that.
Because, well, I'm just anxious.
The harder you try to be better, the easier it is to fall into that state, and I have actually experienced that myself.
In a sudden moment, even if I know it's not happening here and now, 'anxiety' wells up. When I try hard to use the knowledge I've learned, telling myself, 'It's not happening here and now, so I should just return to the present,' there are times when I feel like saying, 'If I could do that, I would have already!'—times when it's just beyond my control.
When that happens, I end up trying to solve it with my thoughts. Even if I'm told that no matter how much I think about it, there's no answer there, the more serious I am, the more I tend to get completely immersed in my thoughts and anxiety, hoping to find some understanding or a clue to a solution.
So, today I would like to write about things I want you to remember when you are in such a state.
The 'anxiety' that you cannot control on your own is something your body remembers. Your nerves, your fascia, every single cell. There are various interpretations depending on which perspective you learn from, but even without such specialized knowledge, what I want you to remember is that just as a broken bone doesn't mean it never happened once it heals, an experience that made your heart tighten hasn't just disappeared either. To use an analogy, I think it's like a crumpled piece of origami paper; no matter how carefully you flatten it out or even iron it, faint creases remain.
Of course, that doesn't mean that the experience will always bring you pain. Because it remains, it can become a treasure that nurtures your heart, broadening your perspective on life through the experience.
However, when those 'creases' surface as anxiety, trying to erase them by working hard with your thoughts rarely goes well. Because the creases are etched into your body. And when you are trying hard to 'return to the here and now' with your thoughts, the one thing being left behind is actually your body.
The body is always checking, 'Is it safe?'
Our bodies are unconsciously and constantly checking whether the surrounding environment is 'safe.'
When you enter a new place, you find yourself looking around. That is because your body is unconsciously gathering information, asking, 'Is this a place where I can spend time in peace?' When you are feeling anxious, this 'safety check' of the body may not be working properly.
Even if your head knows, 'It's okay, there's nothing here right now,' your body is in a state where it hasn't yet received that sense of safety. No matter how correct the answers your thoughts provide, if your body isn't convinced, the anxiety won't disappear.
Instead of telling yourself with your head, teach your body about the 'here and now'
That is why, at times like these, I recommend letting go of the attempt to solve things with your thoughts. Instead of telling yourself in your head to 'calm down' or 'return to the here and now.'
There is a way to have your body directly experience the 'here and now.'
One of those ways is the intentional use of your eyes.
The sense of being in the "here and now," often discussed in mindfulness, is not actually something to be understood by the mind. It is a sensation born when the body actually receives information from this very moment.
When you are anxious, your consciousness has flown to the past or the future. In your head, things that haven't happened yet or things that have already ended are spinning around and around. Your body is here, but your consciousness is not.
So, try consciously directing your gaze toward what you can see right now.
Slowly look around, find something that feels "a little pleasant," and let your gaze rest there.
This is more than just a relaxation technique; by consciously focusing your attention on your field of vision, your body begins to actually receive the information that it is "here, right now." Instead of telling yourself "I am here now" through thought, the body itself experiences the here and now.
And that experience reaches directly into the "safety check" located in the layers of your subconscious.
"The place I am in right now is not that time (the past) I remember where I felt scared." "This place right now seems safe." In this way, the subconscious part deep within your body gradually receives the message that "it's okay."
Sometimes the body relaxes before the mind is convinced
It is a strange thing, but even if your mind is not yet convinced, your body may suddenly relax first. Your shoulders drop. Your breathing becomes a little deeper. The scenery looks wider than it did a moment ago.
This is proof that because your body actually experienced the "here and now," your subconscious layer has received a sense of safety.
As your body begins to relax in this way, strangely enough, your thoughts may also begin to settle down a little.
The order is reversed. It is not that the body relaxes after the mind is convinced; rather, by the body experiencing the "here and now," the subconscious feels safe, and then the thoughts become quiet.
The importance of mindfulness is "focusing consciousness on the here and now."
For those who want to experience it
If you would like to actually try this "exercise of using your gaze to teach your body safety," I provide an audio guide on my podcast.
Rather than reading it in words, I think your body will respond much better if you listen to my voice and try it along with me.
When you feel an indescribable anxiety,
please don't try too hard to solve it with your thoughts; instead, please first convey a sense of safety to your body.
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