【Parenting is too hard】Self-loathing for being small-minded💦

I'm Yu, a mother of two working full-time🫶

I've finally finished making dinner🫡

Everyone, thank you for your hard work today☺️❤️

I've been feeling uneasy all day today🫣

Could you listen to me for a moment...?

Yesterday, my child woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom🤔
That's quite rare, and usually they just go back to sleep on their own.

But yesterday, they went out of their way to wake me up in the middle of the night by shouting "Mom!"💦

Looking at the time, it was 12:30 AM.
I had gone to bed around 12:15 AM.


I know in my head that since they're 5, it can't be helped. If anything, it's impressive that they can go to the bathroom by themselves at night, right🫣

But I usually have trouble falling asleep...
I was woken up just as I had finally fallen asleep, and I got quite irritated😭

I'm human too, and it's normal to lose my patience when I'm tired, right💦

In the end, I was woken up right after falling asleep, and I couldn't fall back asleep for over 40 minutes.

I ended up getting quite angry at my child too...

Thinking about it calmly, I wonder if I really needed to get that angry.

Since it was a day where I had to wake up especially early this morning, I was sleep-deprived and felt down all day💦

That's the "small-minded" me🥲

When you're raising children, there are so many moments where you think, "I'm so small-minded...", right?🤔

For example,
• Being told "I don't want it" after making a meal
• The room getting messy no matter how much I clean
• Even though I know the child is just being fussy, I end up saying "Hurry up!"

When I calm down,
"They're still little, so it can't be helped"
"That's just how kids are"

I can think that, but
the less patience I have, the more irritated I get.

And then, I feel self-loathing after getting angry💦

“If only I could accept it with a bigger heart…”
“Taking it out on my child is so immature.”

That’s what I think. (Even today)

But, if you try changing your perspective a little, maybe you feel that way precisely because you care so much about your child.

If you were truly indifferent, you wouldn’t even worry about being “small-minded” in the first place, right?🤔

Just because you love your child doesn’t mean you can always have the heart of a Buddha💦

I’m human, so I get irritated when I’m tired, and there are times when I end up getting angry when I have no patience left.

Actually, that’s normal!!

Next time the same thing happens, I’ll try taking a deep breath first.

“Ah, I have no patience left right now.”Just acknowledging your own feelings like that might make you feel a little better, right?☺️

Parenting is truly hard!!
Honestly, it might be harder than work.

But, I took good care of them today too!
Good job, me! Good job, everyone!✨

Thank you so much for your hard work today.🙇‍♀️
Please try not to push yourself too hard.☺️

Thank you for reading.😊

【A book that stays with you】