I tried to squeeze some lessons out of the only success story in my life.
I live a very ordinary life, day in and day out.
Compared to others, I have few success stories.
I'm sure there are very few.
But it's not like I have none at all.
I will try to force a lesson out of my few success stories. I will learn in order to make better choices in life.
What kind of choices should I make to achieve similar success in the future?
Well, even though I call it a success story, it's still ongoing, so I feel like calling it a 'success story' might be a bit off. But for now, I consider it a great success.
It's embarrassing to admit, but it's no exaggeration to say that this is the only success story in my life. So, please forgive me.
＊
Seven years ago, I came to Tokyo to attend a friend's wedding.
I enjoyed the wedding, enjoyed the night, and as the sun rose, I was lounging on a bed in a business hotel room in Ginza, scrolling through a matching app.
I told the friend I was with that I was going to meet this girl soon.
When I showed him her photo, my friend blurted out exactly what he was thinking.
She's great.
She has a good face, a good look about her.
She has kind eyes.
Actually, aren't you going to marry her?
I don't know why, but I have a feeling this is going to work out.
And in the end.
I started dating the woman in that photo immediately, proposed after 7 months, held our wedding after 1 year and 3 months, and our child was born after 2 and a half years.
＊
It has now been 6 years since we married.
Our eldest daughter is 4, and our second daughter is 1 and a half.
Started dating the month we met
Married 1 year after meeting
Eldest daughter born 3 years after meeting
Second daughter born 7 years after meeting
Thinking about it this way, I have to say the tempo was good.
For someone like me who has nothing, being able to marry my current wife is my greatest success story, and I am a super lucky man.
I truly mean this.
I am so glad I met my wife and was able to marry her.
Now, dear readers.
Please hold back the urge to think, 'Success story = meeting his wife = suddenly gushing about his marriage = too cheesy = I'll stop reading here' lol.
This is where the real topic begins.
＊
What we should learn from this success story.
That is, when things go well, they progress with a smooth, rhythmic tempo. It means not missing opportunities and keeping the story moving forward with good tempo.
Conversely, when you are dragging your feet or feeling hesitant, or when there is a nagging feeling like a fish bone stuck in your throat, you should pause. If anything, it is better to stop.
Even if you push forward as is, you might get decent results, but you often won't get satisfying ones.
When things are going well, you need to have momentum on your side.
It's about reading the wind, or maybe riding it.
It's about gauging the waves, or knowing when not to push your luck.
＊
Marriage, in particular, is all about momentum.
If you think about that sort of thing too calmly, you'll never do it.
Is this really the right person for my life?
Can I be happy with this person?
Can I make it through without failing?
Those are just groundless worries.
Thinking about it too much is just a loss.
So, you know.
To those worrying about marriage~
To those worrying about proposing~
It's all about tempo.
Tempo.
Let's keep a good tempo.
If you just go with the flow and keep a good tempo, things surprisingly tend to work out quite smoothly.
Well, that's just my take, lol.
・Side note
Assuming I've only had one successful experience in 30 years, I think it would be nice to have at least two more in the rest of my life.To gauge those moments, I intend to keep being conscious of things like tempo, momentum, and the ability to read the wind around me from now on.
Decisions about life stages are really stressful, aren't they? I think it's fine to worry a lot. I think it's natural to be cautious. But even so, I feel that the resolve to read the wind and give the go-ahead with good tempo is necessary to get things done.
・A side note to the side note
Reading it over again, it might have been a big factor that I consulted with a friend quickly and got their opinion just as quickly.In terms of keeping things moving at a good tempo, it's about not being self-centered, or rather, moving forward while consulting with those around you. I think "rushing ahead blindly" and "moving forward at a good tempo" mean completely different things.
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