The Stage Puppet Is Not Yet Untied | Short Story

Past midnight. In my cramped studio apartment, I speak to the void.

“Good evening, everyone. Welcome back to the backstage. I’m Ayumu Odoriba.
Today, I’d like to talk about an outfit I recently finished. I hope you enjoy it.”

As I gave a small bow, the character on my computer screen bowed as well.

For about half a year now, I’ve been working as a Vtuber, streaming videos while borrowing the form of a 2D character on the internet.

I usually stream around midnight, after I’ve finished my university lectures and homework, and I only do it about once a week.

When I stream, I use a voice changer to sound like a man, just in case someone figures out who I am. The figure on the screen is also a man in his twenties.

If I do a live stream, having three or four viewers is considered quite good. Today, there was only one viewer on the screen.

“Oh, Tsumugi-san. Good evening. Thank you for coming again today.”

I replied to the comment that scrolled by: “Good evening, Odoriba-san. I’m looking forward to today’s outfit as well.”

“Tsumugi-san” is one of my regulars who has been watching over me since I started. They seem to love clothes and have been watching my streams ever since.

“This time, I’m trying my hand at a butler outfit. I only have a dress form, so it’s just the jacket. The person who inspired me to become a streamer was a butler, actually.”

Even if there’s only one person watching, they are a proper audience. I weave my words together smoothly.

“That person isn’t around anymore due to various circumstances. I started streaming because I wanted to pour the feelings I had for them back then into my outfits. My skills have finally caught up, so I’m unveiling it now.”

With the cue “Here it is,” I put an image of the outfit I made onto the stream screen. It’s a simple butler suit, just the jacket, but I made it with attention to every detail.

In an instant, text danced across the screen.

“By any chance, was the person you were a fan of Ojigi-san?”

My breath hitched for a moment. That name, which I hadn’t seen in so long.

“Yes, that’s right. You knew? Were you a fan of his too, Tsumugi-san?”

“I was a fan of his. He graduated so suddenly, so it was a shame.”

“He was certainly incredibly popular, wasn’t he.”

I ended the stream that day after talking with Tsumugi-san about Ojigi-san and the outfit longer than usual.

Ojigi-san was the person I admired. His gentle demeanor and the way he wore a butler suit on his tall frame made him look like a real butler, and he let me dream.

That’s why I was devastated when the videos Ojigi-san released were review-bombed with baseless slander.

Ojigi-san’s graduation was announced one day by his agency, mechanically, as nothing more than a single white image.

Ever since that day, I have been searching for the ghost of Ojigi-san.

Since that day, I started exchanging DMs with Tsumugi-san.

I wanted to hold onto the memories that were fading away, so I often talked about Ojigi-san. In the process, we started talking about personal things as well.

“Actually, I make clothes just like you, Odoriba-san.”

“Tsumugi-san, you make clothes too? I’d love to see them sometime.”

It seemed Tsumugi-san was a fan of Ojigi-san just like me, and they were even more saddened than I was that he had suddenly disappeared.

“It’s truly sad that he retired like that. I’d be happy if you could keep going for as long as possible, Odoriba-san.”

I suddenly thought at that moment.

If it were with Tsumugi-san, who also had a gaping hole in their heart, perhaps we could finally say goodbye to Ojigi-san. I hurriedly let my fingers dance across the keyboard.

“Tsumugi-san. Would you like to meet up sometime?”

Tsumugi-san agreed to my sudden proposal without hesitation.

“I wanted to find some closure somewhere, too.”

With that as the catalyst, we decided to meet at a karaoke place to watch Ojigi-san’s final live performance.

It was unfortunately raining on the day.

I was wearing a black dress, Ojigi-san’s image color, with a white lace collar. I chose an outfit appropriate for saying goodbye, but the rain was soaking into my shoes.

While I was waiting in front of the karaoke place, I got a message from Tsumugi-san.

“I’ve arrived in front of the karaoke place, but have you already gone inside, Odoriba-san?”

“No, I was just waiting in front of the shop.”


“Ah, nice to meet you, Odoriba-san.”

A voice came from above my head, and I instinctively looked up. I was surprised to see a man who looked older than me, though his exact age was unclear.

Tsumugi-san was a man? Tsumugi-san’s expression didn’t change at my surprise.


“Shall we go, then?”

Tsumugi-san was so natural that I was bewildered, but perhaps I was just being too self-conscious.



While heading to the room in the elevator, I looked at Tsumugi-san's back and spoke up before I could stop myself.

"Tsumugi-san, by any chance, is that shirt handmade? It's based on Ojigi-san's anniversary costume, isn't it?"

When I asked, Tsumugi-san raised the corners of her mouth slightly and nodded happily, saying, "Yes, it is."

"You too, Odoriba-san. The detachable collar on that dress is lace you knitted yourself, right?"

"Can you tell?"

"Of course I can. I do make a living through clothes, after all."


Although we had broken the ice talking about clothes, we somehow ended up sitting at opposite ends of the karaoke room. The video of Ojigi-san's last live concert played in the room.

Everything I had planned to say when I met Tsumugi-san melted away into this video.



The moment the concert ended and the screen went pitch black, I noticed that Tsumugi-san was crying.

Her way of crying was so beautiful and quiet that it was as if a doll were weeping. Feeling as though I had seen something I shouldn't have, I turned my eyes to the corner of the table.

"Tsumugi-san, are you alright?"

"I'm sorry, thinking that it was Ojigi-san's final concert made me feel sad. I thought it was such a lonely way to end."


When I looked at Tsumugi-san's face after she said, "I'm alright now," there were no traces of tears left, and her face, smiling like a doll as always, was staring back at me.


There were about twenty minutes left until our time in the karaoke room was up. Feeling somewhat restless, I fidgeted, gripping the fabric of my dress around my knees to pass the time.

Gentle words flew toward me from the corner of the room.

"Come to think of it, you said before that you wanted to see the clothes I make. Why don't you come visit my atelier sometime?"

I could only nod.

Tsumugi-san and I couldn't coordinate our schedules, so it took a while before I could visit the atelier. It finally happened on a holiday afternoon, about a month after the incident at the karaoke place.

Tsumugi-san's atelier was a detached house in the suburbs of Tokyo. Apparently, she had received a relative's house that had been left vacant and renovated it into an atelier.

The atelier smelled of wood, and it felt as if time had stopped somewhere.


"Please, come in. I hope you like it, Odoriba-san."

After passing through a short hallway and opening the door, I gasped, feeling as if I had made eye contact with several mannequins.

Looking closely, they were headless mannequins, and what I thought was eye contact was actually my own face reflected in the mirror covering the entire wall.

"There are so many mannequins... And the costumes are incredibly beautiful, too."

I was so overwhelmed that I could only say something mundane. I hesitated, wondering if I should go any further into this room, and my feet froze.

"I believe mannequins are the most beautiful dolls in the world. That's why I call them 'dolls'."

Tsumugi-san gently pushed my back. As if guided, I stood in front of a 'doll'. The headless mannequin seemed to be watching me as if to judge me.

I asked Tsumugi-san several questions just as they popped into my head. Tsumugi-san's hands, which occasionally touched the 'dolls', looked infinitely gentle.


"Why are you able to love what you make so much?"


I felt my voice echo in the room surrounded by mirrors. Tsumugi-san shifted her gaze from the mannequin to me.

"For me, my work is a mirror that reflects myself. I—we—must love our own work more than anything else in the world."

Saying that, Tsumugi-san called me to the corner of the room and showed me a portfolio.

It was a photo book of 'dolls' wearing costumes Tsumugi-san had made, and it felt more vivid and intense than seeing them in person, as if they were about to start moving at any moment.

I couldn't stop turning the pages. The whisper of an incarnation of beauty fell softly on my back.


"With a torso, it inevitably feels closer. See, with a doll, even without a face, it strangely looks like it's smiling or crying, doesn't it?"

I nodded and looked at the 'doll' again. The way it looked in the photos was different from reality, but I felt I understood what Tsumugi-san was saying.


My mouth was making sounds on its own, as if being manipulated.


"Tsumugi-san, won't you produce me?"

I had asked Tsumugi-san to produce my streams. I panicked and tried to take it back, but Tsumugi-san's words came faster.

"Sure. But in that case, Odoriba-san, you should make clothes for the 'dolls' here too. I'll give you a spare key, so feel free to come whenever you like."

"The second floor is a warehouse, so as long as you don't go in there, you can come anytime."

Once I had received a spare key, there was no turning back. When I took the key, I realized for the first time that I had been clenching my fist the whole time.


Thanks to Tsumugi-san's advice and photography, my costumes became something truly refined.

My viewers gradually increased, and I received more compliments on my costumes, which were more sophisticated than before.


By the time the number of fans watching my streams had grown to a certain level, we were talking about a fan name between tasks. Tsumugi-san and I sat on chairs in the corner of the atelier.

"Odoriba-san's fan name, huh. For Ojigi-san, it was 'Penpen-gusa' (Shepherd's Purse)."

Staring at Tsumugi-san, who muttered in a flat voice, I decided now was the time to blurt out the words I had been keeping warm for so long.

"How about 'Doll' for the fan name? Tsumugi-san calls the mannequins 'dolls' so much that it rubbed off on me. We're going to create a stage together."

Tsumugi-san smiled beautifully like a mask again.

"A stage, that's nice. Let's do that."

With Tsumugi-san's production, the number of viewers coming to peek behind the scenes of 'Odoriba Ayumi' steadily increased.

In particular, the costume introductions, which I changed from using a torso to a mannequin, became quite popular, and I felt once again why Tsumugi-san was so particular about 'dolls'.

Tsumugi-san is exceptionally good at taking photos of costumes on mannequins. Now, Tsumugi-san takes all the photos of the costumes I post on my streams.

Even in the pre-stream meetings we started holding at the atelier, Tsumugi-san coached me on everything from my choice of words to how I laughed, and I performed exactly as she instructed on screen.

While I was happy that 'Odoriba Ayumi' was becoming popular, I felt as if I myself had gone somewhere far away.

One day, during a stream, I saw a comment saying that my recent streams were boring. That they were better in the past.

It was only for a moment, but my heart wavered, and emotion leaked into my voice.



After the stream ended, I let out a quiet sigh. Another act had ended today.

"Odoriba-san, you seemed shaken today. Did something happen?"

A hail of questioning was thrown at my back. Looking at the pitch-black screen, I let out words as if nothing were wrong.

"I saw a comment saying my stream was boring. That it was better in the past."

"I see. They don't understand. You don't need to worry about people who don't understand the beauty of the current Odoriba-san."

Does that mean the old me wasn't beautiful?

My palm, which had been resting on the keyboard, tightened into a fist. I felt my spine straighten on its own.


"What do you think about judging things solely by beauty?"

"That is what is correct."

I thought as much, given the immediate answer. This person is always armed with correctness and beauty.

"Have you ever thought it's like playing house? Do you really believe that there is nothing but beauty and correctness, Tsumugi-san?"

When I raised my gaze slightly, I made eye contact with Tsumugi-san through the polished mirror. What exactly is the Odoriba Ayumi you want?

"It's certain that the audience is happy with our way of doing things. That is the answer. If you don't hide your emotions and present the most beautiful form, it has no value."

"I'm just one of your works, aren't I? I understand. Make me dance as beautifully as possible."

I saw Tsumugi-san look puzzled for the first time.

"What are you saying? Odoriba-san."

"I'm thinking of graduating from being a Vtuber because I have to start job hunting soon. I'll give 'me' to you, Tsumugi-san, so in return, I want us to make a costume together for my retirement stream."
I turned my whole body and stared straight into Tsumugi-san's eyes. Tsumugi-san looked down at me as if to lecture me.

"I don't understand. It's a story you started, Odoriba-san, so you have to take responsibility and finish it. You are Odoriba-san. I don't want you to run away like Ojigi-san."

'I don't want you to run away,' huh. Who is that prayer directed at?
"Tsumugi-san, don't you realize? This is already your story."

Even Tsumugi-san doesn't care about Ojigi-san anymore, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to smile like that."

At my words, Tsumugi-san seemed to check her own face in the mirrored atelier. I heard the sound of her taking a short breath.

My face, reflected in the mirror past Tsumugi-san, had distorted as if I were about to cry before I knew it. I can't take it anymore.

"I'm the only one chasing the shadows of Ojigi-san and you, Tsumugi-san. Please, I beg you, don't kill me."

Silence dominates our atelier.

"Understood."

I nodded silently. In truth, I didn't want him to accept it. I wanted to bury "Ayumu Odoriba" right here, with my own hands.

That was why I felt a sense of relief at the words Tsumugi-san spoke next.

"I have a request for you as well. You are at your most beautiful right now, Odoriba-san. Please let me gift you a dress for your sake."

You are alive. I want you to record your final stream wearing that dress."


Ah, this person is broken.

I suddenly wanted to strip away the mask of beauty from the man standing before me.


"Tsumugi-san, I think I finally understand you. You wanted to become a mannequin, didn't you?"

At once, a sharp gaze pierced through me. My body trembled with the joy of finally being seen by him, and the danger of my own words.


"Go home for today."


I peered into Tsumugi-san's eyes, resisting the single, strained word I had heard for the first time.

"Can I come again?"

Tsumugi-san started to say something, stopped, and retreated into the warehouse on the second floor.

For the final stream, what Tsumugi-san made for me was a dress that reached my ankles, with a classic impression made of black and white patchwork.

It had balloon sleeves with tightly cinched cuffs, as if I had truly become a work of art myself. I sat in front of the computer wearing that costume.

This is our—no, my final stage. As a puppeteer, I have to smile.

3, 2, 1. The light for the start of the stream turns on.

"Good evening, my dolls. Welcome to the backstage at midnight. I am Ayumu Odoriba.
Today's costume is a mourning dress gifted to two lost children of dreams. It is about the same size as clothing for a ten-year-old child."


Two child-sized mannequins that Tsumugi-san and I had made appeared on the screen. One was in a black gathered dress with a white lace collar.

The other was a top with a black jacket and a glimpse of a white stand-up collar shirt. It wore shorts. Both were wearing black loafers, and the cuffs were adorned with distinctive gold buttons.

They looked as if they were about to hold hands and walk away. Comments of praise poured onto the streaming screen.

"As I mentioned to you all some time ago, there was a streamer I once admired.

I could not fully accept their graduation, but tonight, I would like to entrust my feelings of farewell to this costume and move forward."

For today, I hadn't discussed the content of the stream with Tsumugi-san. It was a blank, mapless stream for the first time in a while, but strangely, the words flowed out of my mouth easily.


I finished explaining the costume without incident and gave my final greeting.


"Dreaming is both painful and precious. By accepting those shadows into ourselves, our path will surely be illuminated by light. Well then, everyone, have sweet dreams."


I didn't want to grow to hate making clothes. That is why this choice is not wrong.

Though I can no longer reach the person to whom I entrusted my dreams, I will walk my own path.

One night. A man faced a computer in a mirrored room and bowed gracefully.

"Good evening, my dolls. Just a brief greeting from the performer behind the scenes. From now on, I would like to deliver my voice to you without going through a machine."