Night Voice Pharmacy: After Finishing Chapter 1 - Why I Write Night Voice Pharmacy
Why did I end up writing Night Voice Pharmacy?
Originally, Night Voice Pharmacy
was not a piece of writing.
It was the name of a small audio broadcast
that I started with the hope of being there for someone's sleepless night
with my own voice.
That is why,
before the word 'pharmacy',
there is first the 'voice'.
I have always been the kind of person
who people often come to for advice.
I like listening to people.
However,
the trouble is,
I cannot forget the stories I hear.
Is that person going to be okay?
Were they hurt by the words spoken at that time?
Even after many years, I still remember.
So, surely,
I am not cut out to be a counselor.
Because I empathize too much,
and end up being swallowed by it myself.
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Besides,
the reason I needed Night Voice Pharmacy
was not just for someone else.
My mother's chemotherapy.
My daughter's illness.
The worries and responsibilities
that increase as I grow older.
On the train heading to the hospital,
or during long waiting times.
In those moments,
I wanted to find some kind of joy.
Rather than to encourage someone else,
it was to be kind to myself.
I think I wanted a place
where I could heal myself with my own words.
At first,
I intended for it to end in a few nights.
I never thought it would continue this long,
or that I would reach the tenth night.
However,
while writing, I realized something.
There are nights when people
do not want the correct answer.
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I hold certifications in aromatherapy and as a hand massage therapist.
I am also a nutritionist.
I know a fair amount about
what is good for the body and ways to ease the mind.
But,
what people really want on a painful night
is, surprisingly, not an answer.
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'That must have been hard for you.'
'You've been through a lot.'
'You don't have to try so hard today.'
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It is often words like those.
That is why Night Voice Pharmacy
has no correct answers.
I issue prescriptions,
but I do not write how to cure things.
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I still
listen to people's problems even now.
I think I will continue to do so.
But,
I no longer try to carry it all on my shoulders like I used to.
Because that person's life
belongs to them.
All I can do is
sit by their side for a little while.
Night Voice Pharmacy is
the same.
It is not a place to cure,
but just a place
to sit together for a little while.
⸻
Even after finishing the ten nights,
life goes on.
There is my mother's treatment.
There is my daughter's illness.
When I go to work,
there are still all sorts of things.
Even so,
while healing myself with my own words,
I hope to be able to sit by someone's side again.
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To everyone who read Night Voice Pharmacy,
thank you so very much.
And,
if you have another sleepless night,
please feel free to drop by.
I cannot give you medicine,
but I will have some warm tea
ready for you.