[Short Short] If Christmas Disappeared, That Would Be Too Good!!

December.
I get frustrated whenever this month comes around.

That's because, thanks to that guy, I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick as someone born in December.

My birthday parties and presents are usually combined with it, and conversely, I'm forced to spend more than necessary.

Why must I be subjected to such treatment!
It's not like I wished to be born in December!

So, starting exactly 100 days before that day, I began making a hundred visits to a nearby shrine.

Praying for that guy to disappear, and for something else to be born in his place.

And then, December arrived.

Usually, the town would be overflowing with things related to that guy, but this year, they were nowhere to be found.

When I stopped by a convenience store,

"Hey, how about some Hyottoko and Okame masks for the 'Hyottoko & Okame Festival'?"

All the staff members,

The men wearing "Hyottoko" masks,
The women wearing "Okame" masks,

were each calling out to customers while wearing their respective masks.

Did my prayers reach the gods!?

I did a little dance in my heart.
On the other hand,

"Hyottoko & Okame Festival"!?

It seemed to have changed into some festival I didn't understand.
I spent the time after that without worrying too much, but day by day, the number of people in town wearing "Hyottoko" and "Okame" masks kept increasing.

I started to feel creeped out.
Just then, my smartphone rang. It was from the gym I'm a member of.

"Hello, um, were you wearing a Hyottoko mask today? We received a complaint from another member. If you cannot use the facility in accordance with the terms of service, we may be forced to terminate your membership, so please be careful in the future!"

After speaking one-sidedly, they hung up, perhaps because they were busy.

Was that some kind of prank call?

I opened the gym's dedicated app with skepticism and read the terms of service.

"When using this facility, you are required to wear a Hyottoko or Okame mask."

There's no way such a ridiculous thing could be true!
What is going on? I never wished for a world like this!

From that day on, I didn't step outside even once.
However, since I couldn't survive without eating, I tried to order online, but every site had the words "Hyottoko" or "Okame" attached to everything.

For example, it was like this.

"Hyottoko Curry," "Okame Coffee," "Hyottoko & Okame Festival Strategy Guide," "Hyottoko Ramen," "Okame Chocolate," "Hyottoko Sushi," "Okame Drug," "hyottokozon," "OKAMEE!"... It was endless.

As the 25th approached, shopping sites began selling only Hyottoko and Okame masks, and due to intense price competition, the atmosphere became so abnormal that one site was even selling them for one yen.

My mental state became unstable from seeing the words and images of "Hyottoko" and "Okame" too much, and I started spending most of my time sleeping under my futon all day.

And finally, the morning of the 25th arrived.

I timidly peeked at the scenery outside from my room's window, and everyone walking on the street was wearing a Hyottoko or Okame mask.

I didn't wish for a world like this, I didn't wish for a world like this, I didn't wish for a world like this, I didn't wish for a world like this...

Half-crazed, I crawled under my covers, repeating the same words over and over.
Then,

Ding-dong

The doorbell rang, and a loud voice could be heard from outside.

"Excuse me, this is the police. Is anyone home?"

The police? What is this about?

I had barely finished that thought when the front door lock clicked open and someone walked in.

"Good morning. You are aware of the 'Hyottoko-Okame Act,' aren't you? You are in violation of that law, and an arrest warrant has been issued by the court. Please accompany us to the station."

With that, the police officer ripped the blanket I was hiding under and forcibly grabbed my arm.

"W-what is this 'Hyottoko-Okame Act' thing! I've never heard of such a thing!"

Even as I protested, I was pinned by several police officers and about to be dragged outside.

Wait, wait! I can explain! This happened because I prayed to God for that guy to disappear! Please, just listen to me!

As I was being hauled away, I fainted from the sheer shock...

...Buzz, buzz.

I woke up to the vibration of my smartphone.
It seems I had fallen asleep on the train. The screen showed 5:23.

What, it was just a dream...

Feeling relieved, I opened the notification on my phone.

There was a picture of a newborn baby.

Ah, so they were born safely. Thank goodness.



My wife's sister, who had returned to her parents' home for the birth, was there to witness it and sent me a photo of my newborn child.

Still, being born on December 25th means my own birthday will lose even more of its presence. And this child might grow up to resent it just like I do.

Having completely forgotten about the nightmare from earlier, I looked at the photo of my newborn child and, perhaps due to lack of sleep, started to drift off again.

(2,150 characters)

This short short story is included in the following magazine 😌

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☀ This article is a submission for Nao Kurosaki's project ☀
#NaoKurosaki2024WinterWonderland

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I have participated in Nao Kurosaki's project again this month. As the project title suggests, it turned out quite 'Wonderland'-like (lol).

I was born in December.

I don't resent it like the character in the short short I wrote this time, but I imagine there are people in the world who do...

Regarding the childbirth in the final part, it is a true story from when my second daughter was born.
Her actual birthday is the 21st, but for the flow of the short short, I changed it to the 25th.

I received a call from my wife, who was back at her parents' home for the birth, saying her labor pains started around midnight.


However, I couldn't leave until the trains started running, so I ended up boarding the first train without sleeping at all, but I received a report that she had been born shortly after I boarded.

It was a shame I didn't make it in time for the birth, but I was filled with gratitude for my wife who gave birth to a healthy child and for my second daughter who was born.

My father and daughter both have birthdays this month.

Every year we have celebrated their birthdays together, but for some reason, we decided to do them separately this year. It's a mystery.

As an aside, the 'That would be too good!!' part of the title was borrowed from this dance.
It has no relation to the story; I just wanted to use it (lol).

I will participate in next month's event as well.
I look forward to your continued support!

It's a little early, but Merry Christmas!!