Episode 5: Limit Parenting -Age 3- ASD | Developmental Disabilities | Parenting
He turned three.
The three-year-old checkup was awful.
A two-hour death match! ~A true record! The three-year-old checkup!~
It was so intense that a special program could have been made about it.
My son, who mistook the checkup venue for a "hospital," started crying hysterically from the entrance.
Even though I explained over and over, "It's not a hospital" and "They're just going to listen to your heart," he was so confused that it didn't get through to him at all.
I don't even remember how we finally finished the checkup.
However, I did have the final exchange with the psychologist noted in my notebook.
・He has sensory sensitivities
・I think he is a difficult child to raise
・But he might be the type who settles down around elementary school age
And then, I was told this.
"Mom, you've worked so hard to get this far."
Normally, this might be the moment where I would burst into tears.
But I was so exhausted at that time that
"You're telling me..."
was honestly what I thought.
Looking back now, I think age three was the hardest.
His hyperactivity and testing behaviors were at their peak.
If we went to the park,
"I want to ride my bike" -> immediately gets bored, abandons it, and runs away
"I want to play in the sandbox" -> immediately gets bored, and runs away while I'm washing the tools
I don't know how many times I shouted his name at the park.
Eventually, I started muttering this in my heart.
"If you want to run away that much, fine..."
One day, when my son threw a huge tantrum because he didn't want to leave the park,
I tried to force him into my arms.
At that moment,
a punch flew right into my face.
I reflexively gave my son a knuckle sandwich to the head.
My son started crying.
He had such a sad look on his face.
But honestly, in my head,
"I'm sorry."
"But you were the one who punched me first..."
"Could other parents have held it together?"
"I'm a bad parent."
All sorts of words became a jumbled mess in my head.
After somehow making it home, I couldn't think about anything, and
I just kept crying while calling the child consultation center.
"I raised my hand against my child."
"But I don't know if I can hold on any longer."
"Please protect my son."
I think that's what I said.
But honestly, I don't really remember.
A few days later, it was decided that my son would be examined at the child consultation center.
And then,we moved toward a diagnosis.
Episode 6: Beyond the Diagnosis ASD | Developmental Disabilities | Parenting