[Short Story] Why are you working so hard right now?

“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, thanks.”

　I stared at my own face faintly reflected in the dark-mode computer screen. The cooling gel sheet stuck to my forehead. The mask hiding half of my face. It looked like a sticky note that had lost its adhesive, forced into place so it wouldn't peel off.

　Every time I exhaled, my vision blurred and then cleared again. When I took off my glasses, the resolution of my vision dropped instantly. At this point, it was better to just endure the constant blurring.

　The movement of my fingers, which had been tapping the keyboard until just a moment ago, stopped. Once I stopped moving, I suddenly didn't know what I was looking at or what I was supposed to do. Silence. That is what I fear the most.

“Why are you working so hard right now?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“It can wait until tomorrow, can't it?”
“And where is the guarantee that tomorrow will come?”
“But if you work this hard today, you might be ruined tomorrow.”
“Then I’d rather work hard enough today to ruin today.”
“Even though that makes it highly likely you’ll be ruined tomorrow?”
“That’s why.”
“Ugh, fine, fine. I get it.”

　He, who sat next to me in the cramped office, started to leave without another word.

“I’m going to get some fresh air. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.”

　I remained silent, simply holding up my left palm toward him.

　The sound of the door closing. After it reverberated in my skull for a while, all sound vanished from the office.

　Because I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I chip away at today. Before I knew it, all I had piled up was the today I had chipped away.

　But even if I keep doing this, the day where I can close my laptop, relax my shoulders, sit deep in my chair, and drink coffee will never come.

　I stroked my left shoulder. When I tried to press down deeply, I felt like my fingers would break first. Even when I tried to massage my neck, my finger joints just bent the wrong way, and no vibration reached the stiff, knotted muscles.

　I don't dislike the stinging pain and heat remaining in my fingers.

　I want to swap my shoulder and neck muscles with those of people who are lethargic and do nothing. If that could happen, my body might not break just yet.

　I stared at the strings of numbers reflected on the computer. Thanks to what I see before me now, I am able to make a living. When I let out a deep breath, my vision clouded over.

　A beach where you can hear the sound of the waves. Lying on a sofa, drinking iced coffee. In the hot sun, the ice in the glass clinks.

　I closed my laptop, clenched my fist, and tapped the wood grain of the desk several times.

　My tomorrow is already broken.