The Reason I, Who Lacked Confidence, Ran for Vice Class Representative

The moment I raised my hand, the stir in my chest

When I entered middle school, my heart was filled with a mix of anxiety and anticipation.
Because the insidious bullying had stopped, I felt as though I had been given a little bit of freedom.
However, the label of 'the eccentric with no presence' still followed me around.
I couldn't help but be hyper-aware of the eyes of those around me.
Honestly, I was terrified of running for class representative.
But before I knew it, my hand had raised itself.
Was that because I wanted to test something?
Or was it from the thought that 'even I can do it'?
I still don't know the reason.
Surely there would be others who would raise their hands; just being one of them should have been enough.
However, I do vaguely remember that I just wanted to change something.
The moment I raised my hand, anxiety came rushing in.
The fear that 'they're going to say something' began to occupy my mind.

The moment I raised my hand, the eyes around me suddenly caught me

The moment I raised my hand, the eyes around me suddenly caught me.
Despite making such a conspicuous move as running for office, I muttered in my heart, 'Don't look at me'... what a contradiction.
I was worried about the stir behind me.
'Huh...? That person?'
'Are they okay?'
'What happened?'
'No way.'
I felt as if the words they were likely whispering were being broadcast through a megaphone.
It was only natural that they would say such things, as there were a few people who knew my past.

My heart pounded, and my body froze.
But I couldn't lower my hand.
I left my raised hand as it was.
As if I could no longer turn back.
Regret and anxiety enveloped me.
While asking myself, 'Why did I do such a thing?',
I still couldn't lower the hand I had once raised for some reason.
Why?
It was unexpected... there was no one else. Because there wasn't a single person other than me running for the position.

The future that a little bit of courage showed me

Looking back, I think the me of that day was a little bit strong.
At first, I felt like I was going to be crushed by fear and anxiety, but
the moment I raised my hand, the courage to take a step forward welled up somewhere in my heart.
Even so, I don't intend to deny the hesitation I felt in my heart at that time.
I think that by raising my hand, the courage to test myself sprouted.
By trying something I thought was impossible,
I was able to have hope for the first time that 'maybe I can change'.
Because of this experience, I went from being someone who was too scared to do anything to someone who tries anything that sparks my interest.
I must have felt a part of myself that I had newly discovered.

The courage to take a step forward while carrying anxiety

When I look back at myself on that day, I don't want to deny that anxiety and fear.
Rather, I cherish the version of myself that had the courage to move forward even a little bit amidst it all.
Perhaps the feeling of being 'scared' was actually what made me stronger.

Anyone reading this should also realize that by facing your own anxieties and taking a step forward, a world you have never seen before will open up.
Beyond facing your anxiety, there is a new you waiting for you.