Chasing Dreams: Moving to Tokyo at 20, First Job and First Time Living Alone, Setbacks and Broken Engagements, and a Restart After Returning Home!

I was born and raised in Kobe, a true Kobe native.
The sea and mountains are close by, it's just the right amount of urban, and it's easy to live in because it's neither too hot nor too cold.
I love this beautiful city.

My parents weren't raised in Kobe, but they met here after coming for work.
I am truly grateful that they chose the city of 'Kobe'.

However, I haven't lived in Kobe continuously from birth until now.

I have lived in other places here and there.
But every time I do, I reaffirm the 'goodness of Kobe' and strongly feel, 'I really do love Kobe after all.'

...

Chasing my dreams to Tokyo

The first time I left Kobe was in the spring when I was 20.

I had a dream since I was about in junior high school.
That was, 'I want to make toys'.

I've loved making things since I was little, I was good with my hands, and I liked coming up with my own ideas.

At some point, I started vaguely thinking, 'Making toys is a dream. I want to try it!'

However, I was only thinking about it 'vaguely'.

I didn't dig deep or research how one would specifically go about working in 'toy making'; I just pushed forward with the simple thought, 'I want to do it because I love it.'

After graduating from high school, I studied design at an art junior college, worked part-time at a local toy store, and wrote letters to companies saying, 'I want to work for you,' after noting down the company names and addresses written on the back of product packages.

It was then that I also learned for the first time that toy manufacturing companies are concentrated in Tokyo.

After sending the letters, I received replies from several toy manufacturers saying, 'Come for an interview,' so I immediately headed to Tokyo.

I went to interviews at about five toy manufacturers, ranging from ones I had known well since I was a child to small and medium-sized companies I didn't know well.

Almost all of my part-time job earnings went toward travel expenses, but I didn't mind at all.

And luckily, I received a job offer from one mid-sized toy manufacturer, and my employment was decided.

Leaving Kobe for the first time in my life, living alone for the first time, and starting my first job.
Of course, I was very anxious about all these 'firsts,' but the joy of having achieved my dream was even greater.

...

Setbacks, depression, and a restart

I was assigned to the 'Planning and Development Department' of a certain toy manufacturer and started working as a product developer and designer.

I worked very hard.
I gave it my all.
The work environment was very good, and it was a very healthy workplace.

But, no matter what, I couldn't bring myself to like Tokyo.

The relationships at work weren't bad, but for some reason, I couldn't build equal relationships that I could call friendships.

I enjoyed the work, but the harder I tried, the more I gradually started to notice the'difference between dreams and reality'.

You cannot make 'what you want to make'.
It must be 'something that brings profit to the company'.

Perhaps if this job had been back home, I would have been able to overcome this inner conflict. The most painful part was that I had no one to talk to (or couldn't make anyone) about the

'dream setback' I had experienced for the first time. Negative emotions grew larger and heavier within me, weighing me down.

Two years after coming to Tokyo, I was diagnosed with depression, quit my job, and returned to Kobe.

However, once I returned to Kobe, my health recovered in less than a month. I felt energetic again.

I couldn't help but wonder, 'What was that suffering in Tokyo all about?'

Even now, I sometimes remember the company in Tokyo and wonder, 'What would have happened if I had kept going?'

It was a truly good company, so even now, a corner of my heart thinks, 'It's a shame,' but every time I do, I reach the same conclusion: 'Tokyo is just not for me.'

When I am in Kobe, I naturally move forward, and I can see what I want to do.

This is, without a doubt, my home ground.