Novel | "Serenity Pattern" Episode 27

So, in the end, Kaori returned home. She finished washing her hands and gargling, then hurried up the stairs.

She shut herself in her room. She sat in her usual chair. Contrary to the cheerful spring weather visible from the window, she felt as if she were trapped in a tunnel where darkness stretched on forever. It's going to be a tough year, Kaori thought, squeezing her eyes shut.

Until now, there were days when we didn't see each other because we were in different classes, which helped me endure it somehow. If we end up in the same class, the watchful eyes will become even stricter. If I'm laughing and having fun, will they say, 'Look at her, she's laughing' again?

I wish it would just pass without incident, but that won't happen. Besides, being a third-year junior high student means there are so many events. Just the major ones include the choir competition, the sports festival, and a three-day, two-night school trip.

I wish spring break would never end. Or I wish I could warp into a future where I've already finished my third year of junior high. Kaori spent the rest of her spring break thinking only about things like that.

*

Black shadows. People with only their mouths visible as white. There must be five or six of them. Those people are looking down at me.

"Hey. Don't you laugh."

"What are you looking so happy about?"

"Don't look over here."

"Well, I guess it can't be helped since you're staring."

"Hahahahahahahaha."

Kaori jumped awake. Her back was drenched in sweat. A dream. An ominous dream that felt like it could become a reality. It was still four in the morning.

Today is the opening ceremony. I'm being pulled back to reality. I hate both the dream and the reality. Truth be told, I don't want to go to school at all.

It's still dark outside, and it's not time to wake up yet, which brings me some relief.

Once I'm awake, even if I close my eyes, I start thinking about being bullied or whether I can keep pretending to be calm at home like I have been, and my thoughts just spin around and around, making it impossible to fall back asleep.

The more I try to sleep a little, or try not to think about anything, the more alert my mind becomes.

I wonder how many times I've tossed and turned. Finally, dawn has broken. I can tell it's getting faintly brighter through the curtains.

The inescapable reality is right there. I'll stop looking at the clock.

Gradually, the sunlight has grown stronger. Morning has arrived.

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Ah. Mom is here.

"Kaori. It's morning."

"Ugh." My spring break is over. The curtain rises on my desperate third year of middle school.

*

Third year of middle school. I don't know what youth is. I pour all my energy into staying as invisible as possible at the bottom of the hierarchy, making sure not to offend the people who bully others.

Even so, those who get bullied will get bullied. Just like the dream I had on the morning of the opening ceremony.

Being told things like, "Don't laugh."

Or being told, "It's gross that you look like you're having fun," it was miserable.

Kuwahara-san appears to get along with everyone. She is at the top of the hierarchy. She talks easily with our homeroom teacher, Mr. Noyama, and is well-liked by the teachers. So, no one would ever suspect that she is the type of person to bully others.

Fortunately, my indoor shoes didn't go missing, and nothing was stolen, so I managed to get through April of my third year of middle school without my family finding out.