Moving beyond the 'common cold of the mind' so that understanding leads to kindness.

Depression is the 'common cold of the mind'.

I still feel like I hear that sometimes.

'I see, it's a cold. So the mind can catch a cold too, huh?'

Thinking that way might make it easier for those without experience to understand.

But I worry that 'a cold' is too far removed from reality and might be a bit misleading.

After all, if it were a cold, the difficult period would be over in a few days, wouldn't it?
If you push yourself, you can go to work or do housework.
It doesn't take a year or two to treat.
You can believe that it will heal eventually.

And after you recover, you shouldn't (for most people) be afraid that you might catch a cold again someday.

I myself have experienced school non-attendance and social withdrawal in the past, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and have a deep connection with depressive symptoms.

From that experience, I can say that depression and the depressive symptoms that accompany it are by no means like a cold.

It is not something that heals if you rest for a few days, nor is it something that can be managed if you just try hard enough.

It is an experience where you feel like you are no longer yourself.
It is like being in an 'endless darkness,' and at times it is a 'suffering where your mind is continuously whipped.'

No matter what, you become unable to work or do housework, you don't know when it will end, and if it drags on, some people suffer for years or decades.

The person themselves cannot believe when it will heal, or if it will truly heal.
You become unable to think of good things.
No matter how many times it repeats, even if you get used to it, it doesn't become easier.
There is no immunity.
Recurrence is also scary.
Even when depression improves, it is called 'remission,' and rather than 'curing,' you aim to return to society with the symptoms stabilized.

And something important.

If it is the 'mind,' one might think it depends on their own will.
In reality, depression is a disease of the brain and cannot be overcome by mere willpower.

In the first place, it can even uproot the very feelings of 'wanting to do something' or 'wanting to be this way.'

When I wrote about this theme before, someone told me in the comments section that it still matches a cold in the sense that it is 'contagious.'

Indeed, I sometimes hear stories of people who try to support someone with depression and end up becoming depressed themselves... If you look only at the results, perhaps depression does spread.

But there is no medical evidence that it moves from person to person like bacteria or viruses.

If the image of it being 'contagious' like a cold spreads, I feel it could lead to a sense of aversion, like 'let's try not to get involved with people who have depression.' That worries me a little.

On the other hand, the problems faced by those on the supporting side are truly serious, aren't they?

Neither the person themselves nor their doctor knows when it will end.

It is not necessarily the case that it will be cured by medication.
It is not necessarily the case that it will be cured by psychotherapy.
It is not necessarily the case that it will be cured by resting.

There are new treatments like TMS, but they do not work for everyone either.

It is an illness with significant individual differences and variations in progression.
It is completely different from a common cold.

Even if you have experienced it yourself, you cannot offer any advice, and even if you try to support them, your attempts to do something can sometimes become a burden.

In reality, there is little that those around them can do for someone suffering from severe depressive symptoms.

If anything, perhaps it is helping them access medical care, managing their medication, or taking care of their daily needs.

Personally, I feel that being left alone is best.

When depressive symptoms are severe, there are times when one is bedridden and unable to get up. There are also times when the tears just won't stop.

At such times, I feel sorry for having caused trouble or sadness, which only makes me feel even worse.

Furthermore, standard words of encouragement are often ineffective.

Let me explain what I mean.

For example,

There is someone crying, saying,

“It’s painful, it’s painful. I can’t stand this pain.”

If that person is important to you, you would want to be by their side, rubbing their back and comforting them, right?

You might encourage them by saying,“The cause of that pain is the illness. You will get better soon.”

If the other person were not ill,
you might say that to encourage them.

“I see! You’re right. I’ll cheer up so I can get better soon. Thank you.”

They might feel a little calmer or happy to hear that.

However, when depressive symptoms are strong,

“You are just saying that out of consideration for me.
It is because I am weak that I am in this much pain, unable to work, and continuing to be a burden to everyone.
I have been a burden to you for so long, too.
I have no value in living when I cause so much worry to others.”

They may be swallowed by their own painful emotions and unable to maintain normal thinking.

They beat themselves up mercilessly.
No matter what you say, it doesn't reach them.

When someone is in this state, it is impossible for those around them to keep encouraging them without being dragged down themselves.

However, the more precious the person is to you, the more frustrating it becomes.
That sense of helplessness can eat away at your own heart.

Perhaps, for those providing support, it might become a little easier if they could let go of the thought,

“I have to work hard for them, be cheerful, be kind, and stay strong!”

that they might feel a bit more at ease if they could let go of that burden.

For example,

You don't have to feel like you need to 'do something' for them.
Basically, trusting and watching over them is all a supporter can do.

If you could think that way, perhaps the sense of exhaustion might be different.
But in reality, I don't know. It might just be my own wishful thinking.

Furthermore, in my personal experience, I feel that access to treatment is still difficult in Japan.

If you are working, those around you might notice something is wrong, but if you aren't, what happens?

When I look at people, if I see signs, I first worry, 'Are they a bit depressed?' or 'Are they on the verge of an adjustment disorder?'

That is a bit of a biased perspective, but based on my experience, I can't help but be concerned.

If we all had the right knowledge and could notice things like, 'That person seems depressed,' or 'Could they be suffering from depression?', we might be able to encourage them to rest early or start treatment, potentially helping more people avoid losing their jobs or families.

That feels like a good thing.

Taking a step beyond the 'common cold of the mind'.
I hope that 'knowing' can lead to kindness.

And I pray that there will be fewer people suffering from depression and depressive symptoms.

#YeKu #CommonColdOfTheMind #MentalHealth #Depression #BipolarDisorder #SocialWithdrawal #FamilySupport