It's not because you have a weak will. The real reason you become a "three-day quitter"

"I've been saying I'll start a diet tomorrow for a whole week now..."
"My diary and my blog only lasted three days..."
"I really have such a weak will..."

When you fail to see something through, don't you blame yourself like that? You feel as if it's an unchangeable trait you were born with, and you eventually give up, thinking, "I'm just not as strong-willed as that person..."

But what if that "inability to follow through" wasn't because of your weak will? How would you feel then?

The illusion of "willpower"

To begin with, what exactly is "will"?
Is it the mental strength to grit your teeth and endure even when faced with temptation?
Or is it the talent to steadily continue something you've decided to do, day after day?

We tend to think that "strong-willed people" possess special mental strength or talent.

But is that really the case?

For example, when someone with alcohol addiction prevents a relapse, theories based on sheer willpower, like "just gritting your teeth and enduring when alcohol is right in front of you," are not highly valued. Instead, they take an approach of "changing the environment itself" so that alcohol doesn't even enter their field of vision or conversation.

This is because human willpower, or judgment, has its limits.

In the world of psychology, there is a concept called "ego depletion." It is the theory that our judgment gradually wears down when we are repeatedly exposed to temptations or forced to make choices.

No matter how strong a person's mental strength is, they cannot continue to endure indefinitely.

Endurance will always break down eventually.

That is not because you are weak, but because that is how humans are naturally built. That is precisely why "how to avoid situations where you have to endure" is the key to achieving your goals, rather than "endurance" itself.

Why I succeeded in a 7-day fast

Let me tell you a little about my story.
In the past, I myself was concerned about my body shape and attempted a 7-day fast. To give you the result, it was a success.
(*I am sharing this as an experience, but please do not imitate it.)

"Seven whole days! What a strong will you have!"

You might think that. But the reality is completely different. What I did was not endure through sheer grit.

What I did was very simple.

・Thoroughly remove anything that can be eaten immediately from the house
・Thoroughly avoid information related to "food" on TV or the internet so it doesn't catch my eye
・Use meditation to self-control so I don't think about food

In other words, I intentionally created an environment where the option to "endure" is unlikely to arise.

Instead of fighting temptation, I simply didn't step into the ring of battle in the first place. That was all I did.

The reason dieting is said to be difficult might be because the temptation of food is just too prevalent in our daily lives. Preparing high-calorie meals for your family while not being able to eat them yourself is like fighting a losing battle of "endurance" every single day.

If you are serious about changing your diet, it might be that starting with "environmental adjustments," such as talking honestly to your family to ask for their cooperation or separating meal preparation and times, is the shortest path, even if it looks like a detour.

In Japan, the approach of "starting with the form" tends to be looked down upon, but it is actually effective as long as you don't stop at just the "form."

The secret to "continuing" is not to be conscious of it

Another point is "continuing steadily every day." This, too, is not something you overcome with the power of "willpower."

You who are reading this are surely able to continue "brushing your teeth" every day, right? At that time, you probably don't psych yourself up, saying, "Alright! I'm going to brush my teeth today too!"

After you eat, or when it's time to go to bed. Aren't you heading to the washroom quite naturally, without even thinking about it?

This is the power of "habit." People who can continue things well are not strong-willed, but are skilled at
incorporating what they want to do into unconscious actions at the same level as "brushing teeth".

"When it becomes this time, I will do this"
"When I do such and such, I will do this"

In this way, you incorporate it into your life as a set with a trigger for action. The energy that humans can use "consciously" is limited. That is precisely why, if you want to achieve something truly big, the key is how to make "unconsciousness" your ally.

Summary

If you are blaming yourself for not being able to continue something by saying you have a "weak will," that is a bit off.

You don't have a weak will; you were just not yet used to the technique of "adjusting your environment" and "making actions a habit" to achieve your goals.

It is not an innate personality trait, but a "technique" that anyone can learn and practice.

Stop relying on willpower, look at your life objectively, and adjust it according to your goals.

At first, it might feel a little difficult.

But, it's okay.

First, one small thing is fine. Why not think about an environment or system where your "what you want to do" can be done naturally and without strain?

In this "Sprout of It's Okay," I talked about the big sprout of thinking regarding "will" and "habit".

In the membership magazine "Even So, It Will Surely Be Okay," I explain these seeds more deeply, incorporating specific episodes to provide tips you can use in your daily life.

If there is anything in today's story that makes you feel, "I might want to know more about this way of thinking," please take a look.

• For those of you who want to know more deeply about the true nature of "willpower"
  By reading this article, you will understand what people who appear to have a strong will are actually relying on for their strength.
  → That person with a strong will, what they have isn't "will" but...

• For those of you who want specific tips for when you think, "I know what I need to do, but I can't move..."
  I introduce five specific methods to take that first step without relying on motivation. You are sure to find something you think, "I can do this."
  → "I don't feel motivated..." 5 tips for moving anyway

• For those of you who are exhausted by "endurance" and "making choices"
  While introducing research on "ego depletion" mentioned in today's story, I explain specific lifestyle adjustments to prevent it. These are tips to create peace of mind.
  → Is that choice really necessary? Reduce "choosing" to find peace of mind

You might find tips that suit your heart.

I have made a wide portion available for free, so I hope it helps you.
May you find a place where your heart can find even a little bit of peace.

▶ Click here for the series magazine.

Thank you for reading until the end.

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