The Theory That People Who Use Relative Ranking as a Value Standard Have Lower Levels of Absolute Happiness

Hello, this is Yarapon! 😊
Today, I'm bringing you a topic that might give you some food for thought.
It's about the relationship between relative ranking comparisons and the sense of absolute happiness.

In our daily lives, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves to others, don't we?
But that might actually be a cause for lowering your own sense of happiness.

I'd like to think together about why we make relative comparisons and how we can feel absolute happiness.

Why do we compare ourselves?

Comparing yourself to someone else is actually related to a primal part of human nature. For example, when a friend buys a new car or you see photos of someone on social media having a luxurious trip, don't you ever feel envious, thinking, "That's nice," or "I'm still not there yet"?

In this way, worrying about your relative ranking compared to others or placing your value standards on relative evaluation could be considered a program that the brain has incorporated to survive in a competitive society.

However, when this tendency to compare becomes too strong, it just ends up exhausting your mind.

Why does relative comparison lower happiness?

So, why does relative comparison lower the sense of happiness?
There are mainly three conceivable reasons.

1. The objects of comparison expand infinitely
Once you start comparing yourself to others, there is no end. If you feel relieved that you are better than your friend A, then you start wondering how you compare to friend B, and then even strangers on social media become objects of comparison—it's endless...

In this way, the objects of comparison expand infinitely, and no matter how hard you try, you fall into a vicious cycle of feeling that you are still inferior to others or that your abilities or level of happiness are insufficient.

2. You only see the "parts others want to show"
On social media, it's easy to see only the glamorous parts of others. But that is not the "whole" of that person. For example, even if there is a photo of a luxurious dinner, you don't see the effort or hardship behind it, and you don't even know if it's a true reflection of reality.

If you think "that's nice" without knowing that, you end up worrying about the gap with your own reality, and your self-affirmation and self-efficacy also plummet into negative thinking.

3. Your standards become dependent on external factors
When you are always making relative comparisons, your value standards become easily swayed by the eyes and evaluations of others. If you place more weight on "how I am seen by others" rather than "how I feel," you lose sight of what is truly important.

How can you increase your sense of absolute happiness?

So, how can you avoid being swayed by "relative comparison" and increase your own sense of happiness?
To do that, being conscious of the following three points will lead to increasing your sense of absolute happiness.

1. Clarify your own values
It is important to think about what you want to cherish. For example, it is good to
clarify your standards of happiness for yourself, such as time with family or enjoying hobbies. If you use this as a standard, you will be less likely to be swayed by the evaluations of others.

2. Have a sense of gratitude
A sense of gratitude is a major key to increasing happiness. For example, I think you can realize that your mind becomes calm just by noticing and being grateful for small happinesses, such as being able to spend another day in good health or being able to eat a warm meal.

3. Compare yourself to "the you of yesterday," not others
If you are going to compare, you should try comparing yourself to the you of yesterday instead of others. Even if it's just waking up a little earlier than yesterday, or reading a few more pages of a book, by noticing such small growth, you will be able to have confidence in yourself.

Conclusion

I delved into the idea that "people who use relative ranking as a value standard have a lower sense of absolute happiness." We tend to compare ourselves to others, but that is exactly when it is important to take a step back and look at our own inner selves and values.

Finally, I would like to leave you with these words:
"Someone else's success does not mean your failure."

Let's find happiness in your own way, at your own pace!
See you in the next article. 😊

So, this time it was about
"The theory that people who use relative ranking as a value standard have a lower sense of absolute happiness"—a discussion on increasing your sense of happiness by comparing yourself to who you were yesterday rather than to others. 😊
*The illustration for the header image was borrowed from Maple Kaede-san.

See you!

Happiness is within yourself, carefree and calm

<Here is the article from my sub-account posted yesterday!>