[Raised by Toxic Parents x HSP] Are they really a "good person"? What I realized when I reached my limit

Good evening, this is Hikari🌙


Today, I'd like to talk a little bit
about something I suddenly realized recently.

Have you ever been called

a "good person"?

Up until now, whether at work or at family gatherings,
"good person"is what I've often been called, and I think
my relationships have gone well
everywhere I go.
(Though, in workplaces with a bossy senior, I'm the one who gets targeted 100% of the time.)


I always try to smile as much as possible,
read the room,
finish my own work early,
and help those around me.


"good person"Being called that
made me feel like I was being recognized,
so at the time, I was genuinely happy.


But looking back now, maybe I was unconsciously pushing myself
to keep being a "good person" all the time.


When I get home from work, once I sit down,
I just... can't move anymore.


So, if I don't finish my chores on momentum,
even though I'm hungry,
I end up unable to even
eat a meal.


If that happens on a Monday,
"There are still 4 days left..."
Thinking that makes my chest feel heavy.

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Why am I so exhausted by all this...


Partly because I have strong HSP traits,
I think just commuting and being around people at work
is enough to drain me significantly.
On top of that, the feeling of wanting to be



"a good person"piles on, and without realizing it,I might have been overdoing it.
At times like that, I suddenly thought.
For example, at work,





"Can you do this while you're at it?"
Small tasks I'm asked to do, or following up for someone with a tight deadline.At family gatherings,shopping, chores, babysitting, etc.,


taking on someone else's

"little trouble."They are all really small things.Each one individuallyisn't a big burden.



But what if you take on many of them?



Cutting into my own work,or even cutting into the time I should be resting,before I know it, my heart and body


are completely full.
If I accept with a smile...
If I offer to help myself...
There's no way those around me


would know I'm at my limit.

I see.
I might have been trying too hard to be a "good person" and ended up becoming a "convenient person" myself.

"Good person"


and"convenient person"are completely different.A good person is someone who feels their own emotions


and takes on what they "can do."

A convenient person is someone who pretends not to notice their own feelings,"They might hate me if I refuse""I have to meet their expectations"



and takes things on while harboring such anxieties.
I thought I was
"trying to be a good person."
But in reality, I might have just been putting off my own exhaustion


so I wouldn't be disliked.
Even if it's little by little,"I can't do it," "It's difficult right now"


I want to properly notice those feelings too.
It's okay not to be a good person.
Maybe I don't have to force myself to take on roles that make me suffer.


When I was able to think that,
the tension in my shoulders relaxed a little.When I let go of the obsession with being a "good person," and when I was able to listen to my heart's voice and act, I felt like a little bit of room and confidence began to grow in my heart.

I want to continue to cherish that feeling🌱

May you be able to cherish your own feelings today,
even if it's just one thing✨

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