Water Surface Psychology Counseling Room #6 "Why do I want to run away when I'm treated well?" | HSP | Psychology | Short-Short
"Why do I want to run away when I'm treated well?"
Water Surface Psychology Counseling Room Theme Song △
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Asakura
"Now then, here is today's letter."
"My partner is a very kind person.
They treat me well,
and they never make me feel anxious.
Yet, I
find myself wanting to distance myself.
It's not that they are overbearing.
It's not that I've stopped liking them either.
But for some reason, it becomes painful."
Asakura
"You're being treated well, yet you want to run away."
Soma
"Yes. This is not uncommon."
🧠 The problem is not the "other person"
Soma
"First of all, it's not that the other person is bad."
Their kindness isn't excessive.
In fact,
it's a perfectly healthy relationship.
Yet it becomes painful.
Why?"
❤️ Expectations are both a light and a pressure
Soma
"Being treated well means..."
it also means "being expected of."
- I want you not to betray me
- I want you to respond to me
- I want you to stay with me forever
Even if it's not put into words,
there is a quiet expectation there."
Asakura
"Is that heavy?"
Soma
"Rather than heavy, it's scary."
⚖️ When self-worth is low, love becomes pressure
Soma
"The less confident a person is in themselves,
the more anxious they become when treated well."
Asakura
"Why is that?"
Soma
"Because they think they will be 'found out' someday."
- There is no way someone like me can be loved forever
- I might not be able to live up to expectations
- If I disappoint them, it's over
Therefore,
I distance myself before I lose them."
🌊 The psychology of "breaking things before they break"
Soma
"This is a defense mechanism."
Before being broken by the other person,
you break things a little yourself first.
You think that way,
the wound will be shallower.
Asakura
"Unconsciously."
Soma
"Yes."
🌱 Wanting to run away does not mean you cannot love
Soma
"This is the important part."
The feeling of wanting to run away
is not proof that there is no love.
Rather,
it's scary because you "don't want to lose them."
The better you are treated,
the more your own weaknesses are revealed.
That is what is painful."
Asakura
"Then, what should I do?"
Soma
"Before you run away, think about one thing."
What is scary right now?
Is it the other person?
Or is it "the self that cannot live up to expectations"?
If it's the latter,
what you need is not distance,
but to loosen your self-denial a little."
Being treated well
should inherently be a source of peace.
But,
If you cannot believe in yourself,
peace turns into pressure.
The water surface
is not shaken from the outside,
but because of the anxiety within oneself,
it can ripple quietly.
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