Water Surface Psychology Counseling Room #12 "Even Those Who Keep Listening Need a Place to Return To" | Psychology | HSP | Relationships
Mio Minase
"Good evening.
Welcome to the Water Surface Psychology Counseling Room."
This is a special episode, delivered from a slightly different seat than our usual counseling room.
Today, we welcome Dr. Shuji Takamiya and Mr. Hitoshi Kurose, and I, Mio Minase, will be your host.
Outside the window, the water surface is calm. Today, it felt like I could see all the way to the depths.
Minase
"Now, here is today's letter."
"I have always been someone people talk to a lot.
A friend's worries. A family member's complaints. Romantic advice. Before I know it, I'm the one listening.
I don't dislike being relied upon. In fact, I'm happy about it. But lately, after listening, I feel completely exhausted.
I don't want to reject the other person. I want to accept them. I want to choose words that won't hurt them.
While thinking that, my own emotions seem to go somewhere else.
Even though people come to me for advice, I can't ask for any myself. Even though I'm relied upon, I can't rely on anyone.
Where should those who keep listening put their own hearts?"
Minase couldn't look up right away.
Minase
"……I think I understand this a little."
Takamiya
"I'm sure you do. You have an aura that makes it easy for people to turn to you as a listener. An aura that suggests you'll listen until the end without blaming or interrupting."
Kurose
"When people find someone who will listen, they want to set their words down."
Takamiya
"The problem is assuming all of that is your own burden to carry."
Minase
"Is it because I'm weak that I get tired from listening to people?"
Takamiya
"It's the opposite.You get tired because you are listening properly."
Listening to someone's words. Imagining the wounds hidden deep within. Trying to grasp even the words that were left unsaid.
That is not just lending an ear. You are lending a piece of your own inner self to the other person.
Kurose
"People who recreate emotions within themselves experience significant depletion."
Takamiya
"People who can listen aren't people who are hard to break. They are people who know how to handle things that are about to break."
Minase held her breath at those words.
People who know how to handle things that are about to break.
Perhaps, rather than just being kind people, they are people who have likely been on the verge of breaking themselves at some point.
Takamiya
"Those who are dull to others' pain don't get tired. But those who understand will compare the other person's wounds with their own."
Kurose
"That process requires physical strength."
Takamiya
"That's why you get tired. Getting tired is proof that you listened earnestly."
Minase
"But when someone asks for advice, I want to accept it."
"Accepting it is fine. Don't take it on as your own responsibility."
Minase
"Don't take it on..."
Takamiya
"Listening to sadness is different from taking responsibility for it. Refusing to deny anger is different from cleaning up the aftermath. Being there for loneliness is different from filling it all up."
Listening. Accepting. Being there for someone. That is kindness.
However, carrying the weight of someone else's life is not kindness.
Kurose
"If you also take on the role of fixing things, the listener will collapse."
Takamiya
"A human heart cannot be carried by someone else."
Sometimes, someone else's burden looks heavy. You can sit next to them. But you cannot carry it all for them.
Takamiya
"Not being able to carry all of someone's suffering does not mean you have abandoned them. You are simply returning their heart to their own place."
Minase
"It is painful to be the one people consult, yet be unable to consult anyone yourself."
Kurose
"When you are fixed in the role of the listener, you lose the ability to be the one who speaks. 'A good listener,' 'a kind person.' Those compliments can sometimes become a role you are trapped in."
Takamiya
"'Good listener' is a convenient term. It is also a label slapped onto someone by those who dump their emotions on them without malice."
Kurose
"That is precisely why the listener needs a place to escape to."
Takamiya
"A person who listens needs a guardian. Someone who tells them: 'Don't listen to anyone else today. Eat. Sleep.'"
Minase looked at Kurose.
Kurose
"Sensei has not slept properly for three days. You have also skipped two meals."
Takamiya
"Jin."
Kurose
"It is a fact."
Takamiya narrowed his eyes as if it were a nuisance. Still, he did not deny it.
Kurose
"The more someone supports others, the more they put off being supported themselves. If the supporter collapses, there is less left to protect."
Minase
"Then, where should those who keep listening to others' hearts place their own?"
Takamiya did not answer immediately.
Takamiya
"Outside of the role."
Minase
"Outside of the role..."
Takamiya
"The listener. The kind person. The reliable one. It is a place where you strip away those names."
A self that is not someone's counselor. A self that is not a support pillar. A self that is allowed to exist even if it is not useful. That is where you place your heart.
Takamiya
"Being needed and being cherished are different things. Are you kept around because you can listen? Or are you allowed to be there even if you can do nothing? It is better to distinguish between the two."
Minase
"But isn't it cold to refuse when you cannot listen?"
Takamiya
"You might be thought of as cold, yes. But if a relationship breaks because of that, it would have broken sooner or later anyway."
Kurose
"Declining is not necessarily the same as rejection. 'I can't listen right now.' 'I don't have the capacity today.' 'I'll listen once things settle down.' Telling someone this is not the same as cutting off the relationship."
Takamiya
"Kindness isn't just about listening to everything. Sometimes, choosing not to listen today is necessary to maintain a long-term relationship."
Minase
"Kindness doesn't mean emptying yourself out, does it?"
Takamiya
"A person who has emptied themselves out cannot support anyone."
Minase
"What should I do when I've left my own heart behind?"
Kurose
"I think it's good to decide on a procedure for returning. Drink some water. Look outside. Take a deep breath. Confirm whose emotions these are right now. Separate the other person's emotions from your own."
Minase smiled a little.
I listened properly.
But I don't have to carry it all.
The other person's suffering belongs to them.
My exhaustion belongs to me.
Just as I value the other person, I am allowed to value myself.
Takamiya
"The more a person listens to the hearts of others, the worse they are at listening to the voice of their own heart. That's why you have to practice."
Minase
"Can I become able to do it with practice?"
Takamiya
"You can. At the very least, you won't leave it behind anymore."
Minase
"Dr. Takamiya, where do you put your own heart?"
Takamiya was silent for a moment. Kurose was also silent.
That silence felt like an answer.
Something inside Minase reacted faintly.
To the word 'heart'.
It wasn't the sound of a heartbeat.
Takamiya
"Who knows. Maybe I'm still in the middle of looking for it."
Minase
"Even you, Dr. Takamiya?"
Takamiya
"Of course. Just because someone deals with hearts doesn't mean they are used to their own."
Kurose
"That's why it's better not to be alone."
Takamiya
"Jin."
Kurose
"It's a fact."
Minase looked at the two of them.
One who saves with words. One who protects with few words. Perhaps both of them have been listening to hearts for a long time.
Minase
"Where do those who keep listening put their own hearts?"
Takamiya
"Outside of their role."
Kurose
"And in a place where they can return."
Takamiya
"If you're going to listen to someone's heart, at least have a place where you can go to welcome your own heart back."
The water surface outside the window was swaying quietly.
It is not swaying because it is weak.
While reflecting someone else, the water reflects the light so as not to forget its own depth.
Even those who keep listening need a place to return to.
So that after accepting someone's heart, they do not leave their own heart behind.
#CreativeAward2026
#AllCategoryDivision
#Psychology
#HumanRelationships
#SelfUnderstanding
#HSP
#Boundaries
#Kindness
#GoodPerson
#WaterSurfaceCounselingRoom
#SilverHairAlliance
#AIIllustrationAira
#Radio
#LeoSanCafe