My 1-year-11-month-old son's story: slow development and limited speech
So today, I'm going to talk about my little boy who gets croup.
In my previous article below,
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I wrote that he has a croup-prone constitution and has even been hospitalized for it, but
my son, who is now 1 year and 11 months old, actually has very slow language development,
and he definitely got flagged during his 18-month checkup.
He is a go-at-his-own-pace kind of kid who started walking as soon as he turned one,
and he loves going for walks and is the type who wants to go outside.
I have a 4-year-old daughter, so
I can't help but compare him to his older sister,
but my little boy is quite clumsy, haha.
He would trip for no apparent reason,
and he would always fall over in places where I thought, 'Oh, this is dangerous,' haha.
Since he was that kind of child,
I didn't really worry that his speech hadn't come along as quickly as his sister's.
But even after 2 or 3 months passed, he still wasn't talking,
and when he was 1 year and 5 months old,
I started to get a little worried because he still wouldn't even say 'mama',
so I consulted his nursery school teacher.
They say there are various theories, such as
boys are slower to talk,
or it's slower because he has an older sister who speaks for him,
but the conclusion was that we still have to wait and see,
and that from the perspective of a nursery teacher, there are no developmental concerns at the moment,
so
we went ahead to his 18-month checkup.
With many children of the same age gathered there,
everyone else was clearly speaking properly,
so the doctor also determined that he definitely needed follow-up observation.
The criteria used to judge my son at the 18-month checkup stage were
The only words he said were a questionable 'wan-wan' (dog) and 'bye-bye'
He has had zero stranger anxiety since he was a baby
He understands and follows simple instructions (like 'throw this in the trash' or 'get your diaper')
He turns around when called and makes eye contact
He is gradually starting to point at things
I think it was around these points.
Because there is also the possibility of ASD, ADHD, etc., in the background of his slow development,
I received a rather careful and lengthy explanation.
The doctor also seemed concerned about the fact that he has absolutely no stranger anxiety.
Two or three months passed without his vocabulary increasing much,
and while I was raising him with the lingering anxiety of 'when will he talk?',
my son's cousin, who is four months younger, came over to play.
At one year and five months old, the cousin could already clearly say 'mama' and 'papa'.
Since I see this kind of scene every day at the nursery school,
I watched it with a calm feeling, thinking 'that's how it is,' but
my husband suddenly started to panic.
The cousin was talking so much!
Our son isn't talking at all!
Shouldn't we go to the hospital and get him checked out!?
I had been consulting with him about our son not talking for a long time.
Things I had discussed with the nursery teachers,
what was said at the 18-month checkup,
that both advised us to wait and see until he was around two years old,
and that although I was anxious, I decided to watch over him.
I suppose my husband had only been listening to me with a light heart.
I had been discussing various things with him because I wanted us to face our child's development while looking in the same direction,
but I was shocked to realize that perhaps I was the only one who had been feeling anxious about our son's speech over the past few months.
I told my panicking husband the things mentioned above again,
and added a stinging remark,
saying, 'I've told you this many times, you know?'
Well, and then, perhaps around the time he turned one year and ten months old,
his vocabulary started to increase little by little.
Coincidentally, around this time, my daughter broke a bone,
and it was a time when I had to take more time off and leave work early
due to her hospital visits and kindergarten schedule.
With a little more time on my hands,
and the feeling that I could only rely on myself regarding the situation with my husband,
I finally started to put real effort into teaching my son words.
Increasing the frequency of reading picture books
Clearly and firmly teaching him the names of things he pointed at
Encouraging him to speak by saying 'try saying it'
I only did things like this, but
he gradually became able to say 'give me,' 'thank you,' and
he could say 'here you go'.
I don't recommend 'try saying it' because it seems some children end up disliking it,
but since my son was the type who would just listen if not prompted,
I think he finally realized that he was supposed to speak
when I said, 'In times like this, you say give me, try saying it.'
Since he is a foodie,
he became good at saying 'give me' after that.
Right now, words are coming out little by little,
Mama, Grandma, Grandpa,
give me, thank you, here you go, bye-bye,
butterfly, bus, peach, Shinkansen, doggy,
and although some are a bit unclear, he has become able to speak these words.
While other children are starting to speak in two-word sentences here and there,
he is finally starting to say single words...
In the midst of all this, something I've been thinking about lately is
that there is something a bit peculiar about the way he speaks.
It's like his nose is stuffed up or something...
I believe he can hear, so
I don't think it's a developmental issue,
but I wonder if there might be some organic issue (with his vocal cords or respiratory system).
He does have croup, after all.
Regarding language development, there are huge individual differences,
so there's no need to rush,
is what many people tell me.
I've been told that a lot, too.
But even if I wait without rushing, there's no guarantee he'll start talking.
Saying things like, 'My child was slow too,' or
'Boys are just slow,'
is just hindsight that only makes sense after the fact.
For a parent who is currently worried about their child's slow development,
being told things like that
doesn't really provide any reassurance
that their child will be okay.
In the area where I live,
if a child is placed under observation at the 18-month checkup,
they are scheduled to have another checkup at age two.
Honestly, I'm already anxious about it,
and I've been thinking constantly about what I'll do
if we end up having to do developmental testing
and something is found.
But I have a pretty easygoing personality, and
even if something were to be found,
it wouldn't mean I'd turn a blind eye to my little boy,
nor would he become any less precious to me.
He will probably be my treasure for life.
I'm very anxious about the possibility of something being wrong, but
lately, I've developed the feeling that I will accept whatever happens.
Either way, I don't think there's ever an end to the worries of raising a child, and
I want to face my little boy with the very best I can give.