Words to Light Up Someone's Night: The View Seen Through Membership

It was only recently that I opened my membership.
I didn't have enough preparation to say so with pride, nor did I have the conviction that I was 'ready and waiting for the perfect moment!'

To be honest, I pressed the button while still feeling hesitant.

A few days after opening.
Every time a notification rings, the depths of my heart feel warm and fuzzy.
Watching members join one by one, I felt a tremor deep in my heart that was unexpectedly quiet, yet certain.

(There were people... who came for me.)

This was a completely different feeling from 'gaining followers' or 'increasing page views'.

I want people to read my work.
But there is no guarantee that 'someone' will come along and offer their own 'money' and 'time' to join.

That reality gently straightened my posture.

The moment someone trusts you is much heavier than you think.

The first thing I learned after opening my membership was that weight.

Before feeling happy, a desire to 'do things properly' naturally began to grow.

When I post, I receive reactions.
Some people even ask me questions.
There were also people who said, 'This article was good.'

I've only just started, and it's not a large scale.
Nothing flashy has happened either.

Yet, I have already made another major discovery.

Writing becomes stronger when it is read.
And it transforms into a desire to 'keep being read'.

Until now, I thought of creation as a 'lonely task' somewhere.
I write hoping it will be read, but the finished work was like a message in a bottle; I would throw it into the sea and just pray, 'I hope this reaches someone.'

But now it's different.
On the other side of the bottle I threw, someone is actually picking it up.
They open the lid, read it, and say, 'This part is nice.'

I have come to feel that scene not as an imagination, but as a 'reality'.

Membership is by no means a special seat for the author.
It is quite the opposite; it isa place where you can see the faces of the people you want to reach with your words.

When you can see faces, people change.
The precision of the writing improves.
The structure tightens.
Everything becomes more careful.

And, there is nowhere left to run.

But that sense of having nowhere to run is gradually making me stronger.

How to place my own weaknesses within my writing. What to convey, and what to let go of. The process of searching for that boundary no longer scares me.

Even though I had been struggling with this for years, since starting my membership, the answers have begun to appear with surprising naturalness.

I am still immature, and my membership has only just begun. But there is one thing I am certain of.

The moment you decide to 'write for someone,' you finally become a 'writer.'

Even if it is just a few people. Writing for that 'someone' gives my writing a core and lights a warm glow within it.

I will continue to write from here on out. I will get lost more, and I will struggle more.

Even while lost, I want to gently deliver the light of words to someone's hands so they can keep moving forward.

I am secretly proud to be able to write in such a place.

So that I do not extinguish that small light, I will continue to weave words.

#WhatILearnedThisYear