A Story About Melodies I Can't Throw Away and Pocket Tissues

Good morning ☀︎😊
I'm singer-songwriter Happu.

I went to visit my father-in-law the other day, and it reminded me of something...!

It's just a bit of rambling,
but please bear with me!

I have my music produced by someone named Sugar, and I remembered them saying to me, 'Happu, you should try writing a song about pocket tissues...'

I have a habit of reusing melodies (I tried to make that sound cool) that I wrote a while ago, thinking they might fit my current lyrics lol. (It's a 'waste-not' syndrome)

Like, 'Wouldn't this melody I thought of before fit these lyrics?'

There's a reason why I end up doing that (though it's just an excuse lol),
and that's because I've had experiences where it worked out well.
Actually, the initial melody for [My BLUE] was a success story where it worked perfectly as the melody for [Under the Tree of Peace].

So, ever since that happened,
I've been doing it every chance I get,
but it doesn't feel like 'the moment' anymore, so it ends up getting scrapped.

My stock keeps piling up,
but days go by where I don't use those melodies.

And Sugar, who understands that situation well,
would tell me that it's okay to throw away things I don't need right now.

I've felt for myself that by throwing things away, new sounds come down to me,
but I also feel the frustration of not being able to just cleanly discard those melodies.

There are moments when I think, 'I'm not a very decisive person.'

From a different perspective, we talked about how choosing not to accept pocket tissues in the first place is also a way of life, and I remember groaning on the phone. Like, that's life too.

I tried to expand on that conversation to create a song,
but that, too, was about to be left behind.

And even after that, while I kept that conversation in the back of my mind,
I continued living my life, unconsciously accepting pocket tissues just as I always had.

Oh my goodness!
It really shows that people don't change that easily.

(I'm not saying pocket tissues are bad, so please don't misunderstand... #whatamieventalkingabout)

But the other day,
I had a reason to remember that conversation...
The reason I remembered it was,

My father-in-law has been repeatedly hospitalized and discharged since around June of this year,
and he is now staying at a facility for the elderly.

Before he moved into the facility, my father-in-law would always
keep one or two loose tissues tucked away in his chest pocket.

My father-in-law is surprisingly fond of doing laundry.
My husband is the same, perhaps they both think that washing and folding clothes is their job.
They are surprisingly meticulous about that.
(As someone who is bad at housework, this is a part that really helps me)

Back when my father-in-law was still living alone,
when doing laundry, he would forget that he had tissues in his chest pocket and toss them into the washing machine (well, that's something that happens to everyone).

And because he would hang out the laundry covered in tissues,
tissues would end up scattered all over the floor.
That was the usual routine.

Now he is in a nursing home,
and since he is not in a home environment,
I hadn't really paid any attention to it.

The other day during visiting hours.

We went down to the floor below for a bit,
and while we were drinking Pocari Sweat that we bought with his grandchild and chatting, that moment suddenly arrived.

With slow movements,

he lifted his heavy-looking arm,

and reached for his chest pocket.

Wait... no way.

And then he pulled out a fluffy,
crumpled-up tissue.

I witnessed him wipe his mouth quickly so I wouldn't see,

and with surprising agility,
tuck the tissue back into his chest pocket.

“Oh! It came out!!! You’re putting tissues in your chest pocket again!!”

I blurted that out in a loud, Kansai-style voice in what was essentially the hospital lobby.

My father-in-law was grinning smugly.

It seems it's convenient for various things, like wiping his mouth or cleaning up food spills right away...

Please throw it away~

Please throw it away~

I always thought that,
but I guess it's convenient.

Seeing that scene,
I wonder if I'm the only one who felt nostalgic...

My father-in-law hasn't changed at all,
and I actually felt a sense of relief.

By now, he's even starting to look cute.

Me, with melodies I can't throw away, and my father-in-law, with tissues he can't throw away.

For those who have known me for a while,
you might understand,
but the situation has been changing moment by moment since those days,
and while I have concerns about the future,
and it might be more of a burden on us than on the facility,
and it might be difficult,
I believe that returning home to spend his final moments is what my father-in-law truly wants.

Because of that,
I remembered my conversation with Sugar.
I thought I might try making a song,
and that was the story of how my creative drive was sparked once again.

I thought it was a very 'me' way to remember things, so I decided to write this post.

I hope you all have a wonderful day today as well!

May you and I both have the best of luck and smiles!

Every day is a good day.

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I have summarized various announcements here!

■standFM
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Friday around 9:00
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The next one is Saturday, December 27th, from 20:00 to 22:00.
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