Mizuki Tsujimura's 'Dreaming Without a Key' / When the feelings we want to pretend don't exist become stories
Synopsis from the 'BOOK' database: A masterpiece collection of short stories depicting the shadows that fall upon our hearts and a single ray of hope. Contains 5 stories.
'The Thief of Nishino Town': The mother of a transfer student who arrives in a peaceful, insular town where no one locks their doors has a kleptomaniac habit of swiping one or two thousand yen...
'The Arson of the Fukinami South District': The impatience of a woman who missed her chance to marry in the countryside intersects with the vanity of a man who, despite his age, clings to the sense of purpose he finds in the youth association.
'The Fugitive of Miyadani Housing Complex': The irreversible fact that awaits at the end of an escape to a resort with a boyfriend met on a neighborhood dating site.
'The Dreams and Murders of Seriba University': [Mystery Writers of Japan Award Short Story Category Nominee] A man met at university who only talks about hazy dreams. But there is no decisive reason to break up, so she stays with him. What is the only method she chooses to fulfill that relationship?
'The Kidnapping of the Kimoto Family': It's the baby I've always wanted, but why is it only me who is having such a hard time? In a moment of mental lapse, the stroller vanished.
This was a short story collection that left a small sense of discomfort accumulating deep in my chest the more I read.
Although no flashy events occur, each story, in true Tsujimura fashion, carefully depicts emotions that cannot be named.
They are so vivid that there are moments when the reader wants to look away.
The characters are not what you would call villains, but rather
they feel like people you might know, each harboring their own 'reasons why they had to do it'.
It is precisely because there are parts I can empathize with that it feels uncomfortable to read.
Righteousness and the desire to look away are placed in the same space.
What left the deepest impression on me was the story depicting what is known as postpartum depression.
If you only take a snapshot of the situation, I think it is something that could happen to anyone.
An exhausting daily life, a sense of isolation, the silent expectations from those around you.
It is not hard to imagine that if these things pile up, one's heart would gradually be driven into a corner.
Even so, Yoshie's way of living seemed, in a way, 'too good'.
Her stance of trying to be righteous somehow became like an obsession, and that in itself binds her.
Her 'mom friend' Risa is a salvation as someone who makes her aware of that distortion, but at the same time, she is also a symbol of the distance separating Yoshie from the rest of the world.
The hand someone reaches out is not always grasped.
That subtle sense of distance, where unacknowledged feelings rise up without becoming words, really hit home.
When I learned the truth about the missing stroller, I shed a few tears.
It wasn't a grand tragedy, but rather tears that felt like accumulated emotions quietly overflowing.
This short story collection is not a book that makes you feel like you've learned something after reading it.
It's just that the sense of discomfort that has gently soaked in remains deep in your chest for a while.
I think it's because each life and each form of righteousness is presented in a way that cannot be easily judged.
Even after finishing it, the story's key does not lock.
You are returned to reality while still holding onto those open emotions.
I felt that this work is defined by that very sensation.