What happened to my eldest daughter after her weight gain stalled at 3 months
Subsequent weight trends (with images)
I suddenly remembered how, when my eldest daughter's weight gain stalled during her infancy, I was breastfeeding every 3 hours every day while practically losing my mind.
Even while losing my mind, I kept searching the internet, hoping that even if she was stalling now, as long as there was a slight increase, she might eventually return to the middle of the growth curve band—even a slight increase would be fine! I hoped that maybe a chubby phase would come someday. However, while there were plenty of results for "weight not increasing, X months, exclusively breastfed," I couldn't easily find follow-up stories about what happened at age 1 or 2 to children whose weight gain stalled in infancy, so I decided to write one.
As mentioned above, although she is surprisingly within the band, my eldest daughter remains petite with slender arms and legs.
I know there are many moms out there worrying about this right now. Every day is tough, isn't it? I hope that if a mom looking for a case where things worked out ends up here, it helps.
The reason the graph is a straight line after age 1 is because I stopped entering records into this app... sorry. But throughout, in terms of high, middle, and low, she has always been in the lower-middle range. If there were 10 kids in her class, I imagine she would be the smallest or second smallest.
She is already 4 years old, but she remains a picky, light eater.
I hoped she would be the type like my eldest son, who leaves food at home but finishes his school lunch, but she is the type who leaves her school lunch as well. In the morning, she only eats half a slice of 6-cut bread,
and in the evening, since she barely eats and leaves her food, I end up letting her watch TV while I feed her a banana just to find some way to reconcile my own feelings.
But she runs around energetically, splashes in the pool, sleeps, plays energetically, cries when she's being stubborn, and spends her time happily.
As a mother, I still want her to eat more, and I want her to have a balanced diet of carbohydrates, protein, vegetables, and fruit, but well, that was impossible!
She's alive, so I'll call it good. It can't be helped. Actually, I want more (looping below...
Supplementary notes
Infancy
Born at 40 weeks weighing about 2,800g (second child), IVF, vaginal delivery
I aimed for mixed feeding, but breastfeeding was so much easier that I stopped practicing with the bottle (only during the newborn period, my husband gave her expressed breast milk via bottle once a day. She drank it normally)
Progressed smoothly until 2 months; at the 1-month checkup, she was gaining over 30g/day, which was perfectly fine. I think I let my guard down here
Weight gain started to stall from the 3rd month. When I called the clinic for advice, I realized that breastfeeding had become once every 4 hours (Was it because my husband's paternity leave ended in the 3rd month and I was doing childcare alone? I don't remember, or did I just decide on my own that once every 4 hours was fine? I thought the 4-hour interval was correct from 4 months onwards (I think. Was I wrong?))
From the second half of the 3rd month, I practiced with the bottle every day, but she rejected it normally (of course she did)
I saw a breastfeeding specialist, but since I caught colds from my older child every month, I think I only managed to go to the breastfeeding clinic 2-3 times
I remember that around 3 months, I was only producing about 50cc per breast (measured the baby's weight before and after feeding at the breastfeeding clinic), and she wouldn't drink from both breasts, as if she was satisfied with just one. The amount was clearly low
Started complementary feeding at 5 months (the first time was 10-fold porridge, but I quickly moved to 5-fold porridge)
After that, I continued with exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months while trying formula
7 months: Her weight finally dropped (caused by poor breastfeeding due to a cold). At this time, I was really crying while breastfeeding every night. I was even crying during the day.
Around 8-9 months, she started drinking milk from a bottle, albeit in small amounts, about 10cc at a time (my husband would feed her).
Around 10 months, the amount suddenly started to increase—50cc, 60cc, 100cc! She began getting nutrition from baby food (I felt like I was giving her complementary food, but I'll call it baby food for simplicity) and milk.
She wasn't much of an eater when it came to baby food. She was a light eater and the type who would lose interest quickly.
After 1 year old
She weaned around age 1, starting to refuse the breast on her own. It wasn't forced weaning, but natural weaning.
After she turned 1, I gave up and stopped keeping serious records of her height and weight.
She started daycare at 11 months, and they measured her body every month after that.
I don't think there were many months where she lost weight, but there were months when she had a cold and her weight was the same as the previous month.
The things she could eat were limited, and during her first year, she lived on:
Udon noodles, rice with nori-tama furikake, rolled omelets, boiled egg whites, tofu, bananas, various fruits, and yogurt.
After age 2, she started eating hamburger steaks at family restaurants, but she got tired of udon and started refusing it (despair).
At two and a half, she started eating karaage (fried chicken). It also turned out she surprisingly liked fish.
I adopted a 'lucky if she eats' mindset, setting aside a bit of adult food before seasoning it. I stopped cooking specifically for her because it killed my motivation for the next day when she wouldn't eat it (is this okay...?).
Now at 4, the variety of things she can eat has increased little by little, but she is still a very light and picky eater.
We started going to conveyor belt sushi when she turned 3 and could eat sashimi, but she doesn't eat the sushi itself. Apparently, she hates vinegared rice. If only she would eat the sashimi, it would be the perfect protein...
However, she is a huge chocolate lover, so to get one piece of chocolate, she has become a child who will finish her lunch if I say, 'If you finish your lunch today, I'll give you a chocolate.' I can't do this every time, but when I think, 'She really hasn't eaten enough lately!', I use this strategy. I know it's controversial!!!
To moms who are struggling right now (this is long, so feel free to skip it)
There is a manga called 'Kounodori' (The Stork). You can read it for free on the Manga Pocket app (as of 2026/1/9).
In it, a midwife says this to a mom on her third day postpartum who is struggling to breastfeed ([TRACK 24] Maternity Blue ①) (included in volume 8):
'A mother does not exist for the sake of the baby.'
'The baby exists because the mother is there.'
I want to write something that would lighten the hearts of moms worried about their baby's weight, something that would help them relax a little, but...
'It's fine because they're healthy'
is something I don't want to write because it has no basis (actually, my husband said this to me at the time).
'They'll be able to drink eventually'
also makes me think, 'Eventually? When? This week? Next month?'
'Why don't you take a break?'
also made me think, 'No, I have too much to do to rest, and if I rest, I can't breastfeed, and since I'm exclusively breastfeeding, rest = no drinking = no weight gain, so what are you talking about!!!??' (I was just too overwhelmed...).
At the time, I couldn't tell anyone about this worry.
To be precise, I could say lightly, 'My child hasn't really gained much weight,' but I couldn't say,
'Around 3 months, because I stretched the breastfeeding intervals to 4 hours, her growth stalled from then on, and she's still barely within the weight curve band. I don't know when she'll fall out of the band, and it's my fault.'
Thinking back now, I think I was just afraid of being blamed for being a mother.
Even now, when I think back to that time, tears come to my eyes (as I write this), but
childcare, housework, and taking care of my older child couldn't wait,
and while I could think, I had to keep my hands moving, so I don't know what the right thing to do was back then,
or what words could have been said to me to put my mind at ease.
When I could no longer go to the breastfeeding clinic, a midwife called me for a follow-up a month or two later. After much hesitation, I said,
"I'm fine. It's still low-altitude flying, but I'm managing somehow. She's eating baby food little by little, so I'll keep doing my best," and
I couldn't tell her how I really felt.
In truth, I wanted to say, "It's my fault."
But I was afraid that they might not say, "That's not true," and because I was scared of that, I couldn't tell anyone.
To all the moms worried about their baby's weight not increasing!
If another mom had raised your baby, the weight might not have increased either. There's no way to know.
Even if a mom with a midwife qualification had raised her, the weight might not have increased.
Well, maybe it would have (and if I think about it calmly, I suspect it likely would have), but since the same baby doesn't exist twice in this world, this cannot be proven.
Therefore, I don't think this painful, difficult situation you're in is necessarily the mom's fault.
Perhaps it was decided from the start that she was destined to be a small eater.
I don't know which it is, but at least I cast my vote for the idea that this situation would have happened no matter who raised her.
So, it's not the mom's fault. Because you are trying so hard, using your precious time to search online, and you ended up on this note that would never appear in the top search results.
So, it's not the mom's fault. I know the logic is flawed, but still, it's not the mom's fault.
Because you, the mom, are already doing your best.
As a result of doing your best, you wondered what happened to a baby who wouldn't drink, and you ended up here.
So, a mom who has finished doing her best, is still doing her best, and will continue to do her best, is not doing anything wrong. It is not the mom's fault.
Wait, I feel like I'm just telling this to myself now. How embarrassing.
If there is someone nearby right now to whom you can speak your true feelings, I want you to try talking about your painful feelings, even just a little. Because while it's important for the baby's weight to increase, the mom's mental stability is just as important.
I seem to recall that women's brains relax or stress is reduced by talking, or something like that.
Since giving birth, I think you've been putting yourself second and always prioritizing the baby.
If you're a mom who likes alcohol and you're breastfeeding, I think you're giving it up (or even if you're using formula, I think some people give it up because they want to be able to drive to the hospital if something happens in the middle of the night).
If you're a mom who likes fashion, I think you don't have time for a diet to get your postpartum body back, and you can't try things on, so you just have to buy things online and hope for the best.
If you're a mom who likes beauty, you probably want to do the full course of toner, emulsion, serum, and sheet masks, but you've compromised by using rinse-in shampoo and an all-in-one product for your face after the bath.
If you're a mom who likes going out, I think you've probably had to give up on going out because the preparations were interrupted (babies always poop right before you leave, don't they...).
You are really, truly doing your best. For your baby.
It's amazing. I respect you.
I don't think I could have the resolve to raise an infant again; the infant stage is truly grueling, isn't it.
It's painful when your precious baby's weight just won't increase...
Seeing the chubby arms and legs of other babies of the same age on the street, at checkups, or at the hospital makes you feel down, doesn't it? I understand. I was exactly the same.
Even being told, "It's nice that she's so slender," wasn't a compliment to me.
I felt guilty for not being able to make her chubby, and I thought I might be a failure as a mother.
To the mom reading this now (and maybe dads too, in this day and age. If you're a dad, please read 'mom' as 'dad').
Thank you for your hard work. You are amazing. You are wonderful.
The fact that your baby is sleeping right now is thanks to you, Mom.
The fact that your baby is drinking milk or breast milk right now is thanks to you, Mom.
The fact that they are peeing and pooping is thanks to you, Mom.
Everything, everything is because you, Mom, are amazing.
Even if your baby's weight gain is stalling, the fact that they are alive right now is your achievement.
I believe it is the greatest achievement in the world.