About Marriage☕💐🌈

Good evening.

Yesterday and today, since my husband is turning 55, we attended a second-life seminar for those over 60 hosted by his workplace.

We got married in 2004, so
this year's wedding anniversary marked our 21st year.
And our son will be 17 years old this year.

When I look back and ask, "What is a married couple?"
from the time we married until our child was born,
we lived like newlyweds and went on many trips.

However, after we had a child,
our days were very busy with child-rearing.

My husband was also very actively involved in raising our child.

Even from an outsider's perspective, when our child was young,
we must have looked like
a couple who were both devoted parents.

We have one son, so
my husband, who is the father, and our son eventually
developed a relationship like two men competing with each other.

As for me, while watching the two of them go out and play together, I have spent the last five years or so in a carefree way, enjoying time alone or keeping in touch with friends.

The two of them often liked moving things used for transportation like cars, trains, and airplanes, and my son also happily joined in on my husband's hobbies like photography, traveling, driving, and fishing, and I would sometimes join them too.

Since they often did things together as men,
I sometimes felt a little left out.

However, it wasn't like I was doing everything separately from them, so I would occasionally join in, and sometimes I would go to concerts I liked. Since I
wasn't bad at doing things alone,
I thought, "Maybe it's okay to be alone sometimes," and
that's how we have
spent our time as a family until recently.

My husband and I have almost never had terrible fights or arguments where we clashed intensely.
(Though occasionally, when one of us is in a bad mood, we both end up taking the brunt of it.)

But, if you live together for 20 years, I think it's natural for unpleasant things to happen.

And I feel that while both my husband and I have ways to calm our feelings at times, there are also times when we inevitably end up taking our emotions out on each other.

Having been together for so long, until our mid-50s, it's no wonder I might be seen as not very cute, and
from my perspective, I often think, "My husband is so stubborn and old-fashioned, he's so rigid."

When you get to know each other so well,
you tend to only focus on the trivial things and forget to look for the good points, and I am reflecting on that as well💦💦

But...
Even though we sometimes pass each other by,

I feel that just because there is something you don't like, it's a bit much to immediately move on or think about getting a divorce.

I don't think the word "divorce" has never crossed our minds before now.

However, perhaps the reason we can vent our unpleasant feelings toward our partner from time to time is because we feel comfortable enough with them.

I sometimes think that this is a person I have been with for over 20 years, overcoming hardships and crises together.

I am not told this directly, but I think there are many people in the world who wonder if it isn't boring to be married to only one person forever.

But I think it's fine for everyone to have their own way of doing things.

I don't think it's strange for someone to want to be in relationships with many different people, but I also think that for someone like me, deciding to just let things go and keep going despite the ups and downs of marriage is also one valid way of living.

It's not very pleasant to be criticized, but if there is someone who criticizes, it's likely just because they have something or someone they hold dear, and that is why they feel the need to criticize.

If I think of it that way, even if our opinions differ, we might not end up fighting or hurting each other that much.

With a big, calm heart,

I would like to spend my days cherishing those words.

⭐By the way...

The other day, on September 28th, I held a collaborative Zoom meeting with Nozomi-san.

Tatsu-kuu-san, who participated,
is a very active woman who is older than us!

Tatsu-kuu-san says she values being in a good mood and enjoying herself at all times.

She listened to our stories and praised us by saying, 'That's amazing, you're wonderful,' but
Tatsu-kuu-san is aging so gracefully; she is always calm and smiling, and I found her ability to know how to keep herself in a good mood to be very charming.

I truly respected her and thought it would be wonderful if I could
age like that too😊!

Tatsu-kuu-san traveled to Stockholm this year.
It seemed to be a long-held dream of hers, and the way she
simply made it come true with such vitality and initiative must have inspired and given courage to many people♪

It turned out to be a very wonderful
collaborative Zoom meeting.

Nozomi-san is a calm, gentle, and kind person, and she is also very good at conveying her thoughts and ideas to others;
this time, too, she provided nice follow-ups and supported me, and it felt like we were two parts of a whole, working together happily, which was a lot of fun.

I am very grateful to the two people
who participated this time😊♪

⭐Returning to today's topic...

I usually hold back and don't ask for expensive things, but today I had my husband splurge a little,
and he treated me to sushi for lunch at a hotel Japanese restaurant!

“My husband, thank you for all your hard work.
And thank you for today as well💕💕”

I tried saying words of gratitude that I don't usually get to say♪

I think there are many different forms of marriage.
And I think it's fine that everyone is different🙆🧡

There may be many difficulties awaiting us in the future.

However, in our own way, in our own way😊🍀
I hope we can keep going while sharing a little patience and a little selfishness!

And, I thought again that I really want to cherish my family♪

⭐Today's second-life seminar was

full of content,
including talks about money and health.

And it was a very fulfilling two days.

I was also very happy that we could participate as a couple!

Another day comes to an end.
I am grateful that we could finish it safely.
Thank you very much😊☕✨