[note 2nd Anniversary] Self-introduction! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

Hello everyone.
I am Aono Usagi🐰

Today marks my 2nd anniversary since I started note!!

I've decided to write a self-introduction again.

Actually, the reason I started note was because I experienced a stillbirth.

▽Click here for the story of my stillbirth▽

I've lived for over 30 years and been through many things.
However, that was by far the most painful experience.

I was at rock bottom, searching the internet frantically for others who had gone through the same thing.

There, I found harrowing stories of stillbirth from all sorts of people.
I'm not aloneKnowing that calmed my heart just a little.


So I decided to write it down too, and started note.

I wouldn't want anyone else to go through the same experience, but if by any chance there is someone who has, I want them to read my articles andconvey that 'you are not alone'.

I wrote while shedding tears.
I wrote, organized my feelings, read it back, and cried again.

But
when I posted on note, there were people who reached out to me.
There were people who hugged me tight.
There were people who sent me hearts.

Before I knew it,I was the one being encouraged.

There were many things after the stillbirth, too.

There were, but somehow I became pregnant with my third child.

▽Click here for the story of my third pregnancy▽

To me, who would occasionally feel weak during pregnancy, my note friends would send me cheers over and over, saying "it's okay" and "you'll surely give birth safely."
That encouragement helped me do my best.

I wrote a lot of things that I would hesitate to say in the real world.
I poured it all out.

And then, I gave birth safely.
Thankfully, I received so many words of blessing!

Because I had a place called note,I think I am able to keep looking forward.

My children and I are doing well now!

Every day, we are laughing.
We are able to laugh.

Sometimes,
sadness flashes back, though.

It feels like a lie that I once thought I had forgotten how to laugh.

In this place called note, there are many people I want to thank.
There are people I want to repay.
Although I have been hurt by heartless comments.

That is why I think I will continue with note a little longer.

🌸・🌸・🌸

Recently, I have been challenging myself with various things, as if to say I won't lose to my daughter yet. First, the Kanji proficiency test we took together.
▽That story is here▽

The result was a pass! (My daughter passed level 10, and I passed level 2)

And, to fulfill my long-held dream of "wanting to be able to speak English" (even though I hadn't been studying), I made a resolution and signed up for online English conversation lessons, which I have been doing for 90 minutes a week. (It's a one-year contract, and I'm now entering my fifth month.)

My current goal is to study abroad in Los Angeles for a very short term this summer!

My first time in America! (Excluding Hawaii)
My first time studying abroad!
On my own!
The excitement is outweighing the nervousness.

Since I'm going to the trouble of studying, I want to try using it in the real America (^^)
It's planned for two weeks, but who knows what will happen.

🌸・🌸・🌸

No matter how painful things get, I have to keep living.
If I'm going to do it, I might as well enjoy it, I think!

To everyone reading this, thank you for being alive.