Who handles grave closure? An explanation of who performs the procedures, who bears the costs, and how to proceed harmoniously as a family
"I'm thinking about closing the grave, but who actually handles the procedures?"
"My parents are getting older, but is it okay for the children to handle it on their behalf?"
"If there are siblings, who bears the cost?"
Many people likely have these kinds of questions.
In recent years, due to the declining birthrate, aging population, and the rise of nuclear families, more households are considering grave closure because there is no one to inherit the grave or they are unable to manage a grave located far away.
If you proceed with grave closure without deciding "who will handle the procedures," it can lead to disputes among relatives or the need to redo the paperwork.
This article explains the following:
Basic knowledge regarding grave closure
If the parents are still alive, who handles the grave closure?
Who bears the costs for grave closure?
Key points for proceeding with grave closure smoothly
A checklist to review before proceeding with grave closure
In principle, the grave user (the registered holder) performs the grave closure procedures. However, if the grave user has passed away or there are circumstances preventing them from performing the procedures, you should proceed after changing the name to the successor of the memorial rites or by performing proxy procedures.
Who handles grave closure? Basic knowledge you should know first
We will explain the following three points regarding grave closure.
Grave closure procedures are fundamentally performed by the grave user
Cases where grave closure can proceed even if you are not the grave user
Is it okay to decide and proceed with grave closure alone?
Grave closure procedures are fundamentally performed by the grave user
It is standard for the person who performs the grave closure procedures to be the grave user (registered holder) under the contract with the cemetery administrator.
The grave user refers to the person who has entered into a usage contract with the cemetery administrator and holds the right to use that cemetery plot. Their name is typically listed on the grave usage permit or usage authorization certificate.
While the gravestone is personal property, it is considered separately from the right to use the cemetery plot. Therefore, there are cases where the person who built the gravestone and the grave user are different.
The person who purchased the gravestone is not necessarily the same as the grave user. In grave closure procedures, the person who holds the grave usage rights is more important than the ownership of the gravestone.
Since the cemetery administrator receives applications from the grave user who is the contracting party, it is a principle that the grave user performs the grave closure procedures.
The flow for performing grave closure is as follows.
Discuss as a family
Decide on a new place for the remains
Obtain a certificate of acceptance
Perform administrative procedures such as the application for reburial permit
Perform a closing memorial service
Remove the remains
Remove the gravestone
Return the burial plot
Inter the remains at a new location
The application for reburial permit assumes that a new burial site has already been decided, so you must first determine where the remains will be moved. If the grave user is elderly and finds the procedures difficult, family members should provide support throughout the process.
Cases where someone other than the grave user can proceed with grave closure
It is not necessarily the case that only the grave user themselves can perform the procedures. Depending on the situation, there are cases where children or the successor of ritual duties proceed with the procedures.
The successor of ritual duties is the person who takes over the role of honoring ancestors, such as caring for the grave, Buddhist altar, and memorial tablets. While there is a general image that the eldest son takes this over, legally it is not limited to the eldest son; it can be decided by the deceased's designation, customs, or discussions among relatives.
Article 897 of the Civil Code also stipulates that ritual property such as graves and Buddhist altars shall be succeeded by the successor of ritual duties.
Ritual property such as graves and Buddhist altars is treated separately from inherited property such as savings. Therefore, the principle is that the successor of ritual duties inherits them separately from the estate division agreement.
If the grave user has passed away, there are many cases where the successor of ritual duties proceeds with the grave closure.
If the grave user has passed away but the name change has not been performed, a name change may be required first. In actual grave closure, there are cases where the application for reburial permit or grave return procedures cannot proceed because the name change has not been completed.
Whether a name change is necessary depends on the cemetery administrator's policies, so check with the cemetery administrator before performing the grave closure.
If the grave user themselves cannot perform the procedures due to reasons such as old age or illness, there are cases where family members can act as proxies. When performing procedures by proxy, it is common to be asked to submit a power of attorney from the grave user themselves and their identification documents.
However, the scope of what can be handled as a proxy varies depending on the cemetery administrator and the local government, so a power of attorney may not always be sufficient.
Required documents and procedures vary by cemetery administrator and local government, so it is important to check in advance. Checking in advance prevents having to redo procedures due to missing documents and allows the grave closure to proceed smoothly.
Is it okay to decide and proceed with grave closure alone?
Legally, the principle is that grave closure procedures are performed by the grave user. If the grave user has passed away, it is common to proceed after completing necessary procedures such as changing the name to the successor of ritual duties.
However, a grave is also an important place of memorial for family and relatives. Even if you are in a position to proceed with the procedures, if you proceed with grave closure without consulting them beforehand, dissatisfaction such as "I wanted to keep the grave" or "I wish you had consulted me" may arise, potentially leading to trouble among relatives.
Sharing the reasons for considering grave closure, the burden of costs, and the new burial location in advance, and proceeding with the consent of the entire family, leads to a harmonious grave closure.
Who handles grave closure if the parents are still alive?
The following three points regarding grave closure when parents are still alive are explained.
Respect the person's wishes if the parents are healthy
Cases where children proceed with the procedures
Cases where parents cannot make decisions due to dementia, etc.
Even if children support the procedures, it is important to proceed while fully discussing with the parents themselves and the family in the end.
Respect the person's wishes if the parents are healthy
If the parents are healthy and have the capacity to make decisions, prioritize the person's wishes above all else.
A grave is an important place that has been passed down through generations, and there are many cases where parents have a strong emotional attachment to it.
Therefore, rather than children deciding on grave closure alone because "maintenance is difficult," it is important to first listen to the parents' thoughts.
If children take on the role of supporting information gathering, finding contractors, and comparing estimates, rather than acting as a proxy for the procedures, discussions will proceed more smoothly.
In discussions about grave closure, organizing the grave's maintenance status, future burdens, and desired memorial methods together makes it easier to share each other's thoughts.
Cases where children handle the procedures
As parents age, they may find it difficult to handle procedures at the municipal office or meet with contractors. In such cases, it is not uncommon for children to take the lead in closing the grave.
For example, if the parents live in a rural area and the children live nearby, the children may take charge of communicating with the municipal office and the stonemason.
Also, if parents cannot travel repeatedly to a distant grave, having children handle on-site inspections and request quotes on their behalf can reduce the burden.
However, if the grave user is a parent, you may be required to submit a power of attorney in some cases, so be sure to check with the cemetery administrator in advance.
Cases where parents cannot make decisions due to dementia or other reasons
If a parent's decision-making capacity is insufficient, there are cases where using the adult guardianship system is considered. Since the response varies depending on individual circumstances, consult with a professional.
However, since a grave is a matter that concerns the entire family, it is important not to make decisions alone but to discuss it thoroughly with siblings and relatives.
Depending on the situation, there are cases where it is better to consult with professionals such as administrative scriveners or lawyers. Especially if name changes or inheritance are involved, consulting a professional early can help the procedures proceed smoothly.
Discussing the grave while parents are still healthy is the best way to prevent future trouble.
Who bears the cost of closing a grave?
When proceeding with grave closure, it is important to discuss not only "who will perform the procedures" but also "who will bear the costs" with your family. There are no fixed rules for how costs are handled, and it varies depending on the circumstances of each family.
Here, we explain the following points regarding the costs of grave closure.
The costs of grave closure are often borne by the grave user or the successor of the ancestral rites
Cases where siblings share the costs
Points to prevent cost-related trouble
The costs of grave closure are often borne by the grave user or the successor of the ancestral rites
The costs of grave closure are generally borne primarily by the grave user or the successor of the ancestral rites.
While there are many examples where the successor of the ancestral rites bears the costs of grave closure, there is no law that stipulates who must bear the burden. It is common to decide based on an agreement among family members.
In reality, there are cases where costs are borne in the following ways depending on family circumstances.
Parents prepare the funds from their savings during their lifetime
The successor of the ancestral rites pays on behalf of the family
Siblings discuss and share the costs
Paid from the estate after reaching an agreement during inheritance division discussions
Regardless of which method you choose, it is important to discuss and agree upon it with your family in advance to avoid trouble later regarding "who will bear the costs."
Cases where siblings share the costs
If you have siblings, it is not uncommon for families to share the costs of grave closure.
There are various ways of thinking about how to share the costs, as listed below.
Share the burden equally among siblings
Share the burden according to inheritance ratios
The person inheriting the grave bears a larger share
Decide based on economic circumstances
For example, there are cases where the eldest son handles the procedures and all siblings share the costs equally, or cases where siblings living far away pay a larger share while those living nearby handle the procedures.
There is no rule stating which method is correct.Discussing and deciding on a method that the family can agree onleads to a harmonious grave closure.
Also, some families have parents prepare the grave closure costs while they are still alive, while in others, the person succeeding to the ancestral rites pays upfront and settles the costs with siblings later.
Since circumstances vary by family, there is no single correct way to share the burden. It is important to choose a form that everyone in the family can accept.
Points to prevent cost-related disputes
In grave closure, money issues can sometimes trigger disputes among relatives.
Therefore, keep the following points in mind when proceeding with the grave closure.
Share costs in advance
Review the estimate together
Document the cost-sharing ratios
Grave closure involves not only grave stone removal costs, but also offerings for the closing service, reburial costs, and costs for the new burial site as well.
Once you have obtained an estimate, share the amount with the entire family.
Communicating the amount only verbally can lead to disputes where someone says, "I never heard about those costs." If the entire family reviews the estimate together, it is easier to gain understanding regarding additional costs.Once it is decided who will bear how much of the cost, it is reassuring to keep a record, such as in a memo or email to prevent later disputes over "who said what."
Points for proceeding with grave closure smoothly
When performing a grave closure, hiring a reliable contractor will help things proceed smoothly. Because grave closure requires specialized knowledge, many people hire a stone mason or a specialized grave closure contractor.
The scope of services provided differs between stone masons and specialized grave closure contractors. The contractor you choose will depend on whether you only want to request construction work or if you want comprehensive support that includes reburial procedures.
Some stone masons may also offer consultations on reburial procedures. On the other hand, since specialized grave closure contractors often support multiple procedures at once, they may be easier to consult for those performing a grave closure for the first time.
When choosing a contractor, check not only the price but also the following points.
Does the contractor have a proven track record in grave closure?
Is the content of the estimate detailed?
Are there any additional fees?
Do they provide support up to the reburial procedures?
Reviews and reputation
By obtaining quotes from two or three companies rather than just one, it becomes easier to understand the fair market price.
Checklist to review before proceeding with grave relocation
You can proceed with grave relocation procedures more smoothly by making the following preparations in advance.
Confirmation of the grave user
Deciding on the new burial site
Consulting with relatives
Confirming cost responsibility
Consulting with the family temple about leaving the congregation
Preparation for the grave relocation permit application
For grave relocation, not only confirming the grave user and deciding on the new burial site, but also consulting with relatives and organizing cost responsibilities in advance will help the procedures go more smoothly.
Frequently asked questions when proceeding with grave relocation
The following are frequently asked questions when proceeding with grave relocation.
Can I proceed with the procedures even if relatives are opposed?
Who should I consult about grave relocation?
What should I do if the grave user has passed away?
Can I perform a grave relocation even if the inheritance process is not finished?
How long does a grave relocation take?
Should I inform my relatives before performing a grave relocation?
What should I do if my parents do not want to relocate the grave?
Will relocating the grave affect my relationships with relatives?
Are there any preparations to make before requesting a grave closure from a contractor?
What happens if you close a grave without permission?
What if the grave user is missing or cannot be contacted?
Can I proceed with the procedures even if my relatives are opposed?
In principle, the grave user must perform the procedures, and if the grave user has passed away, it is common for the successor of the ritual rights to proceed with the procedures.
However, pushing forward against the opposition of relatives may lead to future trouble.
Even if you are in a position to proceed with the procedures legally, it can lead to emotional conflict among relatives, so we recommend providing sufficient explanation and discussion.
Who should I consult about grave closure?
If you are worried about grave closure, do not carry the burden alone, and use the following consultation services depending on your situation.
Bodaiji (family temple): You can consult about leaving the temple and memorial services
Stone mason: You can consult about gravestone removal and construction work
Grave closure specialist: You can consult about a wide range of topics from procedures to reburial
Local government: You can confirm administrative procedures such as reburial permit applications
Professionals such as administrative scriveners: You can consult about document preparation and procedures
Consulting early will make it easier to proceed with the grave closure procedures smoothly.
What should I do if the grave user has passed away?
If the grave user has passed away, a change of name may be required.
It is common for the person recognized as the successor of the ritual rights to apply to the cemetery administrator and submit the necessary documents before proceeding with the grave closure. Since the procedure method differs depending on the cemetery, please check early.
Can I close a grave even if the inheritance process is not finished?
The succession of ritual rights to inherit a grave is treated separately from regular inherited property.
Under the Civil Code, ritual property such as graves is distinguished from regular inherited property and is succeeded by the successor of the ritual rights. Therefore, there are cases where grave closure can be done even if the inheritance procedures are not completed.
However, if the documents required for changing the grave user or applying for a reburial permit cannot be obtained, the procedures may not proceed.
How long does it take to relocate a grave?
Grave relocation generally takes about 2 to 6 months to complete. Depending on coordination with the cemetery administrator and the status of the contract for the new burial site, it may take more than half a year.
Since discussions with relatives can sometimes be prolonged, we recommend starting preparations with plenty of time to spare.
Should I inform my relatives before relocating a grave?
It is not legally required, but we recommend reporting and consulting with them in advance. Because a grave is something that concerns the entire family, being informed after the fact can lead to emotional conflict.
Explaining the reasons for the relocation and the future memorial methods will make it easier to gain their understanding.
What should I do if my parents do not want to relocate the grave?
If your parents are opposed, it is important not to force the issue, but rather to listen carefully to their reasons. By organizing the burden of maintenance, future anxieties, and costs together, it becomes easier to find a conclusion that both parties can accept.
Does relocating a grave affect relationships with relatives?
Depending on the relative, some may feel resistance to the idea of removing a grave. Therefore, it is important to explain the reasons for the relocation and the new memorial methods in advance.
By striving for careful communication, you can prevent unnecessary misunderstandings and trouble.
Is there anything I should prepare before requesting a grave relocation service?
Having the grave usage permit, the location of the grave, and the dimensions of the gravestone ready will make the estimate process smoother. Also, if the new burial site has already been decided, providing that information will allow them to guide you with more accurate costs and procedures.
What happens if I relocate a grave without permission?
In principle, grave relocation is carried out by the grave user or the successor of the memorial rites who has performed the necessary procedures.
However, if you proceed without consulting your relatives, it can lead to trouble due to dissatisfaction such as "I wanted to be informed beforehand" or "I wanted to continue visiting the grave."
Before starting the procedures, it is important to explain the reasons and future memorial methods to gain as much understanding as possible.
What if the grave user is missing or cannot be contacted?
If you cannot contact the grave user, first consult with the cemetery administrator. Depending on the cemetery, they may be able to guide you through procedures such as changing the name after verifying the family register and kinship.
Since the required documents and response methods vary by cemetery administrator, it is important to check in advance rather than proceeding on your own judgment.
It is important to proceed with grave relocation while discussing it as a family
Grave relocation is, as a general rule, performed by the grave user. However, if the grave user has passed away or there are circumstances that prevent them from performing the procedures, it is common to proceed after changing the name to the successor of the memorial rites or through proxy procedures.
There are no legal rules regarding cost burden, so discuss it thoroughly as a family and decide. More than "who does it," it is most important that the entire family is in agreement before proceeding.
If you discuss it thoroughly as a family and proceed while consulting with a reliable stonemason or a grave relocation specialist, you can carry out the grave relocation with peace of mind.