Why Does Thinking Stop in a Society Full of 'Correct Answers'?—A Perspective to Breathe Without Wearing Yourself Down
*This article is Chapter 12 of the structure hub
[Archived Edition] The Reason You Can't Be Happy Despite Your Best Efforts—A Social Structure Where You 'Can't Feel' Even When You Succeed
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If you are,
feeling like you 'don't know if this is okay' even though there are no major problems in your work or relationships.
This article addresses that sense of unease.
This article addresses that sense of unease.
The modern world is overflowing with
correct answers and righteousness, isn't it?
In romance,
there is know-how for winning someone over.
In literature,
there are writing styles that are easily evaluated.
In business,
there are reproducible success formulas.
On social media,
there are structures that go viral.
In politics,
easy-to-understand enemies are prepared.
There are conclusions that don't cause waves, and
there is the premise that 'that is normal'.
Correct answers provide peace of mind.
But at the same time,
they end judgment before thinking.
'This is correct'
'This is wrong'
'That's just how it is'
In that instant, thinking stops.
And—
most people don't even realize it has stopped.
People decide before they think
In sales settings.
In management meetings.
Even in psychological sessions.
I have seen it many times.
People make judgments before they think.
And,
they are unaware of that 'decided premise'.
In psychological settings,
'My relationships are always like this'
Behind that lies
assumptions built from the past.
Yet the person themselves thinks it is just their personality,
and continues to blame themselves.
In the world of management,
"This method worked before"
becomes the underlying assumption.
Even though the situation is different now.
Before you realize it,
stagnation begins quietly.
In the world of literature,
"This is not literary"
is the kind of criticism heard.
What that "literary" actually means
is almost never observed.
Exclusion occurs,
and the winds of new culture cannot enter.
A microcosm of a place where judgment stops
A scene often seen in meetings.
The KPIs are met.
The documents are ready.
The logic is sound.
Yet no one speaks their true feelings.
Without putting their sense of unease into words,
they just move forward with a "well, that's fine."
Improvement plans are proposed.
But six months later, the same problem recurs.
I, too, have swallowed my sense of unease many times.
At one point,
a request for help from someone appeared on Slack.
It was a desperate message.
Voices like "Are you okay?" and "I'll help" were flying around.
But who would do what, and to what extent?
That was never fully settled.
Unable to watch any longer, I spoke up in the meeting.
I said, "Let's decide on the specific steps."
The management side nodded at the time, too.
But in the end, the roles were never defined.
It was the same dynamic as everyone thinking "someone else will call the fire department" while a fire is actually burning.
It wasn't a matter of courage. It wasn't a matter of kindness, either.
Responsibility was not defined as a structure.
Stopping thought leads to loss
What happens when thinking stops?
The one thing that couldn't be said in a meeting can result in a loss of millions of yen.
The discomfort you swallow becomes the wear and tear on a relationship.
Stopping thought quietly accumulates losses.
That is not just an emotional argument.
It is an economic loss, a loss of relationships, and a loss of time.
It is not just about relationships with others. The most important thing is that the true feelings you couldn't express,
continuously erode the trust you have in yourself.
What are you currently holding onto as
a 'given'?
Is that
truly a standard you chose yourself?
And this loss
piles up without you even noticing.
By the time you realize it,
you end up in a state of 'I don't know why this happened.'
The true nature of the atmosphere you feel
The atmosphere that makes you
unintentionally conform to those around you.
That is
not a matter of personality.
It is a matter of structure.
So, what does it mean to observe the atmosphere as a structure?
I don't say, 'The atmosphere is heavy.'
I break down the atmosphere.
・Where did you go silent?
・What words caused the situation to stall?
・At what moment did eyes look away?
And I pick up the repeated words.
'This is normal.'
'This worked well before.'
'Well, it can't be helped.'
I observe the premises behind those words.
Has past success become an absolute standard?
Has security become the top priority?
Has self-responsibility become unconditional?
The atmosphere is
a collection of
'unconscious premises' that are shared.
Many people feel the atmosphere.
But few people can observe it.
I stand on the side of the few.
The moment a premise is observed,
the atmosphere becomes a structure that can finally be managed.
Am I in a safe zone?
I have written articles
questioning the literary industry and the cultural structure of creation.
While writing,
a sense of discomfort remained.
Am I not criticizing from the outside?
Pointing out structures from the outside is safe.
If you don't create, you won't be misinterpreted.
If you don't step in, you won't be attacked.
That is cowardly.
I don't want to be all talk.
That is why I stepped in.
It is not a novel.
It is not criticism.
It is not self-help.
In a format that belongs to none of those,
I wrote a 'nine-part observation record'.
That is not a story.
It is a record of an experiment on 'the moment when premises shift'.
Whether your unconscious criteria for judgment shift even slightly.
Before your thinking closes off,
whether one more question remains.
Accepting desire
Why did I write the observation record?
Perhaps, more than proving something,
I wanted to be in alignment.
Whether what I say
and how I act are in alignment.
Saying that I am in alignment
might make me seem selfless.
But, I will be honest.
I want recognition.
I want money.
I want numbers and influence, too.
I want it all.
However, I will not expand by distorting the premise.
I will not expand by inciting fear.
I will not create dependency by stimulating a sense of lack.
I will not trim away questions for the sake of simplicity.
When you expand through misguided methods, the premise becomes distorted.
When the premise is distorted, the cycle of recurrence begins.
That is why I choose
alignment of premises over expansion.
It is okay to be small.
But I want to expand while remaining a person who cannot be swallowed up.
Stopping is different from crushing
When I say
“You don't have to push yourself too hard,”
I am not
denying the value of effort.
It means you don't have to
force yourself to conform to “correctness.”
A world where you can think while breathing naturally.
The reason I like the world of Anpanman is that the air is light.
There is a fork in the road there.
・Correct the behavior
・But do not deny the existence
In today's society, it is easy to confuse these two.
“That way of speaking is harsh” turns into
“You are an existence that should be excluded.”
In that moment,
thinking stops,
speech decreases,
and challenges disappear.
The more correct you become, the safer you are.
But the safer you become, the less interesting things get.
If you exclude Baikinman,
the world of Anpanman becomes boring.
Perhaps the modern world is
leaning in that direction.
That is when
the atmosphere becomes heavy.
I want to draw a line there.
You don't have to crush your personality.
However,
I want to regain the state where I can think based on my own judgment.
I want to lighten the atmosphere a little.
Don't you feel that the current atmosphere
is a bit heavy?
If you are feeling a sense of discomfort.
Just feeling it
won't change the structure.
If you,
want to think properly, but feel like you have
unconsciously entrusted your judgment to the atmosphere of a meeting or the 'norm' of society.
That is
proof that your thinking has not yet stopped.
What changes when you look at the premises?
It is not a major change.
In a meeting,
you will be able to calmly say the words
you had previously swallowed.
In relationships,
you will be able to think about 'what I want to do'
before 'I don't want to be disliked'.
In management,
you will be able to pause and ask 'how about this time?'
rather than 'this worked before'.
And the biggest thing is—
being able to feel that it is okay to say
the true feelings you couldn't express within yourself.
That is not about being evaluated by others.
It is not about getting closer to the 'right' answer.
The moment you forgive yourself
for the words you couldn't say.
Only then,
does your trust in yourself return a little.
“I will not ignore my own feelings.”
That small choice
reclaims your trust in yourself.
Trust that has been eroded once
does not return immediately.
However—
Trust that has begun to return will not collapse easily again.
The atmosphere cannot be changed by mere willpower.
When you see the underlying premises, the tension in your body suddenly releases.
To you
I do what I like, and
I speak my true mind.
I eat two pieces of cake, and
I try not to deny anyone's character as much as possible.
That is not escapism.
It is practice in returning the premise to yourself.
I do not sell comfort.
I do not sell motivation either.
Instead,
I deal with the premises you are unconsciously protecting.
The criteria for judgment you are unconsciously holding onto.
The design philosophy that an organization takes for granted.
Because,
unless you address those,
the recurrence will not stop.
To get your stalled thinking
moving once again.
The atmosphere cannot be changed by one person alone.
But there is a moment when it begins to change.
It is not a flashy moment.
It happens when you choose not to say, 'Oh well.'
When you,
look at your own assumptions.
And, even after looking,
when you do not look away.
I am standing in that position right now.
Wavering, yet in a place where I can return.
If you, too, do not want to stop.
Those assumptions can be observed.
In the same air.
If you have read this far and
feel like you 'understand,' please pause for a moment.
Assumptions
do not change just by understanding them.
And,
you cannot observe your own assumptions by yourself.
That is why
you return to the same place.
Even so, if you choose not to move now,
this sense of discomfort will continue into the future.
There is a structural limit to reaching the answer alone.
Because what is invisible remains invisible.
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[Archived] The reason you can't find happiness despite your hard work—The social structure where you 'can't feel' even after succeeding