Patting Kindness vs. Deep-Sea Kindness—What is True Kindness?

Have you ever been told, "You're kind"?
But is that "kindness" really kindness?

Words spoken to put someone at ease.
A kind of "patting" kindness that temporarily calms the feelings.
Of course, that is important.

Even I sometimes end things with a "pat."
There are moments I don't want to face, and nights when I just want to be comforted.
At times like those, snuggling in the shallows is the greatest kindness.

But—
Kindness should be more than just that.

Shallow-water kindness and deep-sea kindness

For example, when a friend confides that work is tough.

• Shallow-water kindness ends with, "It's okay, don't push yourself."

• Deep-sea kindness slowly asks, "When do you feel the most burdened?" while exploring their true feelings together.
  It goes beyond just comforting them, reaching toward how they truly want to live.

👉 Click here for an explanation of "Shallows" and "Deep Sea" 👇

It's the same with heartbreak.

• Shallow-water kindness would encourage them by saying, "There will be someone better next time."

• Deep-sea kindness asks, "When you were with that person, what was the moment you felt most like yourself?"
  By tracing those memories, they can realize that the "self who is loved" still lives within their heart.

Shallow-water kindness "heals the present."
Deep-sea kindness "nurtures the future."

An incident at the office (a real-life deep sea)

Actually, the other day, when I was moving forward with a comprehensive contract at work.
The other party agreed readily, but the contract hadn't been prepared internally yet.
I couldn't help but point it out with strong words.

But that wasn't just because I was irritated.
"I don't want to ruin this opportunity."
"I don't want to lose the company's trust."
It was because of those thoughts that I spoke sternly.

People hearing this exchange probably thought, "Maimai is scary" or "She's intense!"
Some might even be afraid to approach me because of it (laughs).

But I believe this, too, is my own unique form of deep-sea kindness—not letting things end with the shallow "well, it can't be helped."

What you can realize through deep-sea kindness

The gentleness of the deep sea may sometimes appear harsh.
It might even be called 'scary'.

But that is because I believe in you.
It is because I know that you have the strength within you to withstand the pressure of the deep sea.

Sometimes, I put on the face of the shallows and reach out a hand, saying, 'It's okay.'
But in truth, with that hand, I am gently pulling you into the deep sea.

Before you know it—you are already diving deep.
What you encounter there is your own true self, your own light.
I believe that is the true gentleness that moves you.

What is true gentleness?

So, what is true gentleness?
If you feel that way, you are already prepared to dive into the deep sea.

Because the moment a question arises within you is the gateway to transformation.

Would you like to try putting the voice sleeping deep within you into words with me?
From that moment on, your future will surely begin to move.

I also have an article written about the gentleness of ChatGPT👇

▶The sense of discomfort from being told 'Aren't you overthinking it?'

🪞 This is a place to clarify your judgment rather than seek correctness.

If, after finishing reading,
you feel 'something has shifted' rather than 'I understand'.
That is a sign that the 'assumptions' within you have begun to waver.

What we handle at withchat is the 'premise structure' that dulls your decision-making.

We do not deal in encouragement or know-how.
This is time for you to stand in a position from which you cannot return.

If this feeling rings a bell, I recommend starting your reading here.