To Those Bound by 'Correctness'—Why I Struggle with People Who Use Titles to Establish Trust
This article is a continuation of the previous one👇
The Shinto priest I mentioned last time said this at the end of our conversation:
"I was originally a teacher, and it was precisely because I built up that trust that I was able to become a priest."
At that moment, my internal discomfort sensor went off.
"Yeah, yeah. You've done the right thing all this time. You want to prove that and have it acknowledged, right?"
(Immediate translation)
Honestly, I am really bad with this kind of thing.
Of course, there is a deeper structure lurking behind this line, not just a 'desire to be acknowledged.'
It is something that torments even the person themselves—and sometimes the people around them, too.
Doing (what appears to be) the right thing
Being polite, having a solid background, and looking respectable.
That in itself is not a bad thing.
But who decided that this 'correctness' is actually correct?
The moment correctness is used like an 'indulgence,' a distance is created.
"Being correct = being trustworthy as a person"—is that really true?
Because I'm a teacher, because I'm a priest, because I'm a doctor, because I'm a CEO...
When I see people who believe that 'what I say is correct' based solely on those titles or past achievements, I think, 'That way of living must be exhausting.'
When correctness turns into imposition
"I am doing things properly."
This phrase sometimes flips over.
"So, you should do things properly according to my standards, too."
Even if it isn't said in words, it is conveyed through the atmosphere.
That is not comfort; it is pressure.
Moreover, that 'standard' isn't necessarily something the person is truly convinced of.
It is often a borrowed correctness, adapted to society or common sense.
Is that correctness really necessary?
Does trust really come from titles or past achievements?
I don't think so.
Trust can only be built byhow you interact with someone right in front of you.
No matter how many past 'correct' actions you line up, if your attitude is cold, your trust is zero.
With only 'correct behavior' that fits a mold, only thin and fragile trust remains.
People who suffer from the righteousness they have created for themselves
The irony is that these people themselves are also bound by that very righteousness.
“I must do things properly.”
“I must not betray trust.”
They tie themselves up in knots like this, becoming unable to move.
I call this the 'shackles of righteousness'.
“I’m carrying this burden, so you should carry it too.”
—This might bean ego-driven reaction that forces one's own shackles onto others.maybe.
Making righteousness something you can 'choose'
I’m not saying you should throw away all righteousness.
Just don't let it be an 'absolute chain'; make it something you canchoose.
Is this for the other person? Or is it for my own appearance?
Isn't 'compassion' more necessary right now than 'righteousness'?
Is there a better way than this righteousness?
When you become able to choose your righteousness, you can finally breathe.
Space is created, and from there, true trust begins to sprout.
What does righteousness mean to you?
Righteousness can be a shield, but it can also be a curse.
When it runs wild in society, it can even transform into war.
That is why I no longer follow the atmosphere that says, 'I am doing things properly.'
You can just do things properly on your own.
I will live my own version of 'properly'.
How do I engage in this very moment?
Because that is the only place where true trust exists.
To you
If you felt a stir in your heart while reading this and thought, 'I understand...', that might be a sign that the 'shackles of righteousness' are sleeping within you too.
If you thought, 'Maybe I am bound by righteousness too,' please rest assured.
From the moment you realize it, those shackles begin to loosen little by little.
Through my articles and sessions, I help people put those shackles of righteousness into words and untie them.
🌱 I am compiling a philosophy for cultivating your own market and life👇
▶The sense of unease from being told 'Aren't you overthinking it?'
🪞 This is a place to clarify your judgment rather than focus on correctness.
If, after finishing reading, you feel 'something has shifted' rather than 'I understand'.
That is a sign that the 'assumptions' within you have begun to waver.
It is a sign that the 'assumptions' within you have begun to waver.
What we handle at withchat is the 'structural assumptions' that dull your decision-making.
We do not offer encouragement or know-how.
This is time for you to stand in a position from which you cannot return.
If this feeling rings a bell, I recommend starting your reading here.